Greetings Webtaculators! Welcome to Webtacular World’s 8th Birthday Party. I started this thing when I was supposed to be doing a million other things, and that’s basically the reason why it is basically the longest continuous project I have ever worked on. To celebrate, here is my latke recipe, since Hanukkah is also eight days, or something! Enjoy.

Brian’s Totally Reasonable, No Fuss Some Muss Latke Recipe

INGREDIENTS

• 4 Russet potatoes of reasonable size
• 1 large yellow onion
• 4 eggs
• Canola Oil
• Salt / Pepper
• Apple Sauce / Sour Cream / Hot Sauce / Whatever You Want for toppings

TOOLS

• Cooking range
• frying pan
• Baking sheet
• Baking drying rack
• Chef’s knife
• Spatula
• Cutting board
• Two large bowls
• clean kitchen towel / cheese cloth
• Food processor with medium grater attachment and chopping blade
  • NOTE: if you want to be super traditional about it, a cheese grater and potato masher will work in place of the food processor. I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING THIS.

STEP BY STEP INFALIBLE INSTRUCTIONS

• Wash / scrub potatoes.
  • NOTE: no need to peel the potatoes, but you can if you want.
• Peel onion.
• Use chef’s knife to cut the potatoes and the onion into quarters.
• Use medium grater attachment on the food processor to grate the potatoes and the onion
• Move grated potatoes and onion (hereafter “mix”) to a bowl.
• Switch the grater attachment to the chopping blade in the food processor.
• Take ¼ of the mix, and put that back into the food processor.
• Press “pulse” until nice and chopped. Should be a little thicker than smooth.
• Add chopped mix back into the bowl with the grated mix, and stir with your hands until both integrated.
• Take a handful of the mix place in the towel over a sink, bundle it up, and squeeze out as much liquid out of the as you can. Place drier mix in second bowl. Repeat until done (this is the hard part).
• Once all mix is dry, add and mix in eggs until you have a slightly wet “batter” (3-4 eggs depending on size of the potatoes and onion you started with).
• Mix in salt and pepper to taste.
  • NOTE: If you do not cook often, this will be more salt and pepper than you think is necessary.
• Add oil to frying pan, about 1 inch.
• Heat oil on medium-high (about a 7 or 8 if your range uses a number setting)
  • NOTE: Oil will be hot enough when you drop a bit of batter in the oil and it starts to bubble
• Form a palm sized patty of the batter in your hands, packing the batter tight.
• Place gently in the hot oil.
  • NOTE: Do NOT touch the oil, and try to not let the oil touch you. (the second is the hard part – oil likes being mean)
• Fit a MAXIMUM of 4 latkes in the pan at once – you do not want to over crowd the pan.
• Cook 3-4 minutes on one side, flip once (using the spatula, not your hand).
  • You can tell when they are ready to flip / take out of the pan when you can see the latkes turn a nice golden brown on the bottom edge that you can see from the side.
• Place finished latkes on drying rack over baking sheet to cool.
• Repeat until out of batter.
  • NOTE: you may have to top off / replace the oil every few batches so it doesn’t burn. You must wait until the oil reheats before adding the next batch.
• Eat promptly. Share if feeling friendly.
  • NOTE: You can store cooked latkes in a plastic bag, and put them in the fridge for 2 days or a freezer for a 2 weeks. Reheat by placing on a baking sheet, and put baking sheet in a 375 degree (Fahrenheit for you metric lovers) oven until warm, 5ish minutes.
• Get someone else to clean up.

On to the news.

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Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™