Greetings Webtaculators! It’s the Oscars tonight! Time to fret about all the movies you never had time to see, and might not deserve the accolades in the first place. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. vote)
What: The Oscars
Why: Because I doubt you could break into them anymore, but it sure would be great to see you try.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The First Martians
Why: Because we’re going to Mars.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (7 min. read)
What: More Doom for Law Schools
Why: Because out of six law school classmates of mine who went to brunch this morning, only one is currently still practicing. Make of that what you will.

COMEDY THING OF THE WEEK (3 hr. watch)
What: SNL Turns 40
Why: Because somehow the show keeps going, and Norm Macdonald remains one of the more under-appreciated featured players.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Fight Of The Century
Why: Because Floyd and Manny can finally settle the discussion of who is the best.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Forgot About Dre
Why: Because Dr. Dre continues to have an impact on hip-hop fashion years after the days of NWA.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. look)
What: Photoshop Turns 25
Why: Because Adobe has probably done as much to change professional photography as the introduction of color print.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: Cheaters In Love
Why: Because Junot Díaz remains one of the most interesting writers of his generation.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Reviewers Are Behaving Like Critics
Why: Because games are finally being rated as whole experiences, instead of being lauded as technological marvels devoid of substance. In other news, Kanye West is making a video game about his mom.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Big Birdman; Uncomfortably Biden; Tomatan; 10 Years Of Youtube
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: An Oscar
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Give your President a Valentine! Or something. All the cross advertising is confusing me. Also, congrats to webtaculators Brandon and Jenn on their “Definitely Not A Wedding” Wedding today!!!! Anyway, on to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: A Bad Week For News
Why: Because Brian Williams is on a six month leave for “misremembering,” Jon Stewart is leaving the Daily Show, and two prominent reporters, Bob Simon of 60 Minutes and David Carr of the New York Times, passed away.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Tax Cheats
Why: Because this is banks at their worst.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: The Downfall Of Crime
Why: Because my theory is that people are too busy looking at cat videos on their cell phones to cause trouble. Also, RBG got drunk and fell asleep at the SOTU.

HEALTH THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Beep Boop Beep <Here Are Your Drugs>
Why: Because pretty soon, your doctors will be robots, too. I bet they wont even have the courtesy to lie about how much the shot they’re going to give you will hurt.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Apparently The NBA All Stars Competitions Were Exciting
Why: Because I stopped following these after the competition “jumped the shark (car).”

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: 50 Shades Of Successful Terribleness
Why: Because an objectively bad movie based off of an objectively bad book based off of objectively bad fanfic of another objectively bad book has managed to break the record for movies over this weekend. I have no words, but Dave Barry does.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Aural Perfection (And By Perfection I Mean Bullshit) 
Why: Because high end audio equipment has its place, and that place is not a Toblerone.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. look)
What: More Best Photos of 2014
Why: Because photos can tell amazing stories

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK ()
What:
Why:

*Ed. Note – There will be no LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK because Fifty Shades Of Grey killed literature, and I’m still angry about it.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The 90’s Are Dead
Why: Because Sonic was awesome to 8 year old me, but I guess I didn’t know much.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: POTUS Selfie; NY Times In Action; Repost^N
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Star Wars Blade Builder And A Swiss Bank Account With Millions Of Dollars
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! Now that football is over, enjoy having your Sundays to do whatever you want. In my case, I went go-karting. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: The Net Will Stay Neutral
Why: Because this is one of the most unexpected political moves in recent memory.

MEDICAL THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: R.I.P To The Father Of “The Pill”
Why: Because The Pill was one of the biggest gender equalizers in modern history.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Serial Continues
Why: Because Adnan Syed was granted an extremely rare right to file for appeal.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Left Shark (AKA Stage Right Shark)
Why: Because Left Shark was the best thing about the Super Bowl.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Original Movie Plots Just Died
Why: Because the live-action Sponge Bob movie made over $50 million this weekend.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Grammys Are A Joke
Why: Because any time a joke band (given, I love Tenacious D [SPOILERS? (WHO CARES)], but they are in no way representative of actual metal) wins an actual award, the award no longer deserves your attention. Also, a white person won best rap album again.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What:2 Kill 2 Mockingbirds: Mocking With A Vengeance
Why: Because one of the most celebrated authors of the 20th century is finally, and controversially, releasing her follow up novel.

GRAMMAR THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: This Article Is Definitely Not “Comprised Of” Anything
Why: Because it’s “comprises.” Now you know.

TV THING OF THE WEEK (1 min. read)
What: The Legend Of Zelda Might Be Returning To TV!?!?
Why: Because there was a show in the 80’s which was not too great. Also, Nintendo’s other forays into other types of media usually don’t work.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: So Long, Joystiq
Why: Because one of the premier gaming news websites is no more.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: In Mother Russia, The Car Parks You; I Am The Sour Prince; BattleBots Is Back
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Portable Pub
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

FOOTBALL!

FOOTBALL THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. watch)
What: Football
Why: Because football.

FOOTBALL ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Football Economics
Why: Because football will cost a lot of people a lot of money.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (multiple link read)
What: Bad Football
Why: Because football players are occasionally not very good people.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: FOOTball
Why: Because football has the word foot in it for some reason still.

FOOTBALL SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (12 min. read)
What: Brady Football
Why: Because Tom Brady plays football.

FOOTBALL MOVIE STAR THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. watch)
What: Wicked Deflated Football
Why: Because Bawstin.

FOOTBALL MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. watch)
What: Football Halftime
Why: Because nothing will beat Nipplegate.

FOOTBALL SAFETY THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Football Used To Be Deadly
Why: Because it still can be made safer.

FOOTBALL VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (9 min. read)
What: Football For Gamers
Why: Because football is basically a game for nerds.

FOOTBALL INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Marshawn Loves Skittles; Fuck The Seahawks; Fuck The Patriots; Women And Sports, AMIRITE?
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Super Bowl Tickets
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™