Webtacular World Issue # 337, June 22, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators. Here are some graphs of systematic racism. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Abject Failure Of Trump
Why: Because against a backdrop of Juneteenth, Black Lives Matter, the historically overlooked tragedy of the decimation and obliteration of Tulsa’s Black population, COVID-19, and K-Pop fans and TicTok Zoomers (I swear to you this phrase means something), Trump decided to host a rally. None of it was successful.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (long reads)
What: A Huge Win, A Mostly Win With Caveats, And A Non-Win
Why: Because businesses cannot discriminate on the basis of sex, which includes LGBTQ people, DACA recipients cannot be kicked out of the US yet, and police still have qualified immunity for their illegal actions.

In the continued degradation of America’s legal standards, Barr tried to, and ultimately successfully, fired the US Attorney investigating one of the many criminally linked actions of Trump’s administration.

HISTORY THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. watch)
What: Slavery
Why: Because this is the visual representation of shipping people from Africa to the Americas over hundreds of years. You might be thinking, “Hey! It looks like the US only comprises a statistically small portion of the total amount of slaves! That means it wasn’t as bad as everyone says by comparison!” In response, watch this, and then watch this. There is nothing good about slavery.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: NASCAR Fans Are Still Racist
Why: Because it really isn’t that surprising that a sporting event needs a specific law to exclude a traitorous flag from its venues would have an escalation of racism. At least NASCAR itself appears to be trying to change.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: A (Wait For It…) Fowl Time
Why: Because my terrible pun title is better than the movie that they made for over $100 million.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (long watch / listen)
What: Helping Preservation Hall
Why: Because the New Orleans mainstay, like most of the rest of the performing arts industry, has been hit hard by COVID-19. Watch some performances from people you might know, and maybe throw them a buck or two.

Unrelated, Phoebe Bridgers just released a wonderful new album, Punisher, that is definitely worth a listen.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. look)
What: Juneteenth
Why: Because if this week was the first you’ve heard about this celebration, think about all the other culturally important events that occur in the US that you haven’t heard about yet.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: John Bolton Sucks
Why: He also is releasing one of the most important documentations of the Trump Administration’s corruption. While you should definitely not buy the book, you should definitely read it. For example, you could type “The Room Where It Happened PDF” and see what results pop up.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Bowing Out
Why: Because Microsoft is shutting down its game streaming service as of… now.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: A Simpson’s Joke Taken To It’s Ultimate Conclusion; Here Is Me And My Son Nestor; Racism In America
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Keep That Telecommute Going
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed

Webtacular World Issue # 336, June 14, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators. Hope everyone is doing OK. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: The Broken Arm
Why: Because it continues to be evident after yet police needlessly killed yet another person that something is severely wrong with law enforcement in America. This is why people are calling for defunding – police are not the appropriate service to respond to a vast number of problems they end up responding to. You shouldn’t have to call the police to deal with a non-violent situation.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: House Of Pain Economics
Why: Because much like their hit song, “Jump Around,” the stock market finally decided to check in on reality and didn’t really like what it saw, causing markets to dive yet again.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Unqualified
Why: Because the doctrine of “qualified immunity” is one of the undermining issues with trying to punish bad police – there simply is too much leeway for cops to not be held responsible for their actions under the theory that they “were just doing their job.”

HEALTH THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: America Is Giving Up
Why: Because COVID-19 is totally still a real thing, but many states are pretending everything is fine.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Bubba Leads NASCAR’s Ban The Confederate Flag
Why: Since sports are apolitical according to every idiot who fumed at Kaepernick’s kneeling, this should not be a problem.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Da 5 Bloods
Why: Because Spike Lee’s newest joint takes on Vietnam through the eyes of the black soldiers, and successfully combines critique on numerous issues from racism to veteran rights to the impact of the “American War” on the Vietnamese people themselves.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: RTJ 4
Why: Because Run The Jewels, the collaboration between rapper / producer El-P and rapper Killer Mike is the definitive album of these times. Killer Mike’s lyrics,

“And ’til my voice goes from a shriek to whisper, “I can’t breathe”

Walking In The Snow

were supposed to only reference the dying words of Eric Garner. Now they take on an even more raw and desperate meaning now, which is absolutely devastating.

Get the album here for free.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. look)
What: Black Lives Matter
Why: Because versions of the phrase are being painted on streets throughout the country. It is a beautiful thing to see.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: God Fucking Damnit
Why: Because of all the things Rowling could be talking about now, she had to go and demean trans people. There are ways to make the point that I think she’s trying to make without being an utter twat about it, but she failed miserably.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (long watch)
What: PlayStation Five-ever
Why: Because the new Sony PlayStation was unveiled, along with a whole bunch of new games. Some people don’t like the way it looks. Additionally, The Last of Us 2 comes out Tuesday. It is very good.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: The Importance Of Game Accessibility; I Like To Ride My Bicycle (Over My Oppressors); Wonder Showzen Revisited
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Justice
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 335, June 1, 2020. BLACK LIVES MATTER.

BLACK LIVES MATTER.

STORY OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK
What: Space Ship
Why: Because it’s OK if a neat think happens during bad times. Also, people can ruin neat things.
Also, BLACK LIVES MATTER. Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: BLACK LIVES MATTER. BLACK LIVES MATTER. BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

THING YOU SHOULD DO FOR BLACK LIVES OF THE WEEK
What: Any of these things.
Why: Because BLACK LIVES MATTER.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 334, May 25, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! Sorry for the lack of a post last week, I just didn’t have it in me. Also, thanks to those of you who reached out with suggestions from the previous issue – you gave me a lot to think about. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (too long of a read)
What: 100,000
Why: Because that is how many Americans have died from COVID-19 at this point. You really should look at the print format as well.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Mortgage Manipulators
Why: Because banks apparently did not learn their lesson from the last time this happened. Maybe stop letting them off the hook for once?

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: EVERYTHING IS FINE
Why: Because it is highly unlikely that this will be last miscarriage of justice performed by the Trump administration.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. reads)
What: Space Race
Why: Because Space X is set to shoot people into the sky on Wednesday, just after Virgin Galactic failed to launch a satellite from its arial platform

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read for some reason)
What: I Guess This Is Sports?
Why: Because most of the time people do not care about how good people are at a sport they do not play professionally. I mean, when was the last time anyone asked how Lebron’s slap shot was? Oh right. Racism is still too much a part of hockey for that to happen.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Remembering Mad Max
Why: Because it still remains one of the greatest movies ever. Or you could just watch the new trailer for Tenet.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Bring Back The Ruckus
Why: Because Dave Grohl has been insanely prolific during this time, including somehow becoming a columnist for the Atlantic (ignore the fact that they just laid off a whole bunch of permanent staff – EVERYTHING IS FINE).
Also, if you want something to listen to, The 1975 just released its latest too long album with an equally pretentious name – Notes On A Conditional Form. It is very good.

BROADWAY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Hamilton On The Small Screen
Why: Because one of the greatest musicals will be coming to Disney+ in July.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: On Being Alone
Why: Because Calvin reminds us that there are plenty of ways to go exploring even if you have nowhere to go.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Looking To The Future
Why: Because Unreal Engine 5 looks like it can enable to let next generation consoles look even closer to cinema quality graphics while running in real time.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: I Miss This Internet; Time Is Just A Construct; DJ Free Play
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A $3000 Grill
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 333, May 11, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! We have officially made it to the twelfth repeating number issue! That’s something! Hope everyone had a good social distance mother’s day. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long reads)
What: The Destruction Of Justice
Why: Because there were multiple stories this week that have to do with what justice is in the United States, and they are all resoundingly bleak. The DOJ dropped its prosecution of traitor Michael Flynn, who plead guilty twice. The Supreme Court ruled that it cannot judge on corruption cases that are political in nature and don’t have a monetary component. It took months to get the Georgia DA to file charges against the people who lynched Ahmoud Arbery. Instead of locking up these dangerous yahoos, arrests made for social distancing violations have largely targeted people of color. Good job America.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Sigh
Why: Because building cars is not essential. Also, he wouldn’t have a solar business, an electric car business, or a space business, or a tunneling business without the state having propped Elon up numerous times.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Failure All The Way Up
Why: Because now multiple people within Trump’s inner circle have tested positive for COVID-19.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Virtually Sporting
Why: Because crashing in a simulation do not have the same real-life consequences as crashing in reality, but it is an interesting question of how seriously a professional should take their sport.

SCREEN THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: An Eternal Festivus For The Rest Of Us
Why: Because Jerry Stiller made generations laugh.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: RIP Little Richard
Why: Because he made music electric.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The 2020 Pulitzers
Why: Because reading good writing is still worth while.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: What Comes Next
Why: Because an Xbox press conference showed 13 new games that will appear on its new console starting this holiday season.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Goonies Reunion; Satire Is Harder Than Ever; Congrats To The Class Of 2020
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: More Positivity?
Why: Because I feel like these have become much more negative, regardless of the good that John Krasinski is trying to get me to see in the world. It’s not that I don’t see it, it’s just that someone being thoughtfully spoken to by a celebrity doesn’t quite have the same emphasis as seeing the US Attorney General destroy the very bedrock of justice in front of our eyes. There’s a reason I haven’t been posting these on as strict of a schedule as normal this year, which has only compounded with the general daily news. Even though many people are doing the right thing, I am constantly baffled by the amount of people who clearly just don’t care about anyone but themselves. It’s disheartening on a very real level, so I cannot help but reflect that sentiment here. If anyone has any advice for staying positive, please, please share it. Thanks in advance.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 332, May 4, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! It’s May! It is a very different month from that previous month we just had, let me tell you. This one has giant murderous hornets! Hooray! (Side note – if you are concerned about being killed by a large bee, but not concerned about getting or spreading COVID-19, please just go away. But don’t go to parks, you’re already ruining it). On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: America’s Worst People
Why: Because these yahoos are doing everything wrong. They don’t care about health, they don’t care about the Constitution, they don’t care about America. They only care about themselves, and they represent everything bad with our country. Trump is one of them.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Elon’s Not OK
Why: Because Musk tanked Tesla stocks after tweeting that it’s stock was overvalued, which essentially goes against everything a CEO is supposed to do / say. But who cares! It’s 2020! Do whatever you want! Also, everything is fine.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (long watch)
What: Fuck It, We’re Doing It Live
Why: Because the Supreme Court is live streaming its cases in video format for the first time ever. I for one cannot wait to see all of the Constitutional Law experts’ comments on youtube…

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: New MacBook
Why: Because I can’t tell if this is a great time for new laptops because everyone is now working from home, or a terrible time because no one is making enough money to buy new technology.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: A Hard Path Forward
Why: Because a judge found that the US Women’s National Team cannot sue for equal compensation due to initially being offered the same contract as the US Men’s team.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Taika + Star Wars
Why: Because I am very interested in what a Jojo Rabbit set in the Empire looks like.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. listen)
What: I Guess All Star Covers Work?
Why: Because the BBC released a multi-person cover of the Foo Fighters’ “Times Like These.” It’s OK!

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: The Worst
Why: Because these people are awful.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Other People’s Books
Why: Because even though a lot of personal libraries are now stuffed inside Kindles, the books a person keeps in their home can tell you a lot about them.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. reads)
What: Let’s Get Tactical
Why: Because Gears Tactics and XCOM: Chimera Squad were both released last week. If you enjoy getting mad at percentages, these games are for you. If you’re interested in these kinds of games, and you have a Switch, a great point of entry is Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: The Language Of Numbers; Star Wars Day; How To Cope With COVID-19 In A Dystopia
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Lego Millennium Falcon
Why: Because Brian deserves it, and I think I can find the time to put it together.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 331, April Something, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! It is still April, right? Also, Kim Jung Un might be dead, but maybe not. Who knows! On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Just Add Some Light And Bleach
Why: Because Trump’s blatant stupidity continues to kill people.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Working As Designed
Why: Because big companies are stealing from small businesses. Spending even more money the exact same way should be just fine.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: CWA Lives On
Why: Because there are still three SC Justices who seem to think its just fine that pollutants traveling via groundwater to protected waterways is A-OK.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: DO NOT INJECT BLEACH TO CURE COVID
Why: Because these are things you have to say now.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Drafting For Future
Why: Because there totally is going to be a full football season this year, right?

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Da Bulls
Why: Because The Last Dance extensively covers one of the most famous sports teams in recent history.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. listen)
What: New Rolling Stones? Sure!
Why: Because the Rolling Stones wrote a decent rock song in 2020. Also, Post Malone performed a very good show of nothing but Nirvana covers.

DESIGN THING OF THE WEEK (long watch)
What: How To Imagineer
Why: Because regardless of Disney’s corporate goal, there might not be a bigger supporter of large scale design projects with whimsy at their core.  Here’s how they do it.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (quick look)
What: World Book Day
Why: Because it was world book day in the UK, so read a book, I guess.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (7 min. watch)
What: How To Get Into Gaming
Why: Because there is literally no better time than now.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Earth Day; Brad Fauci; A Closing Business
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: I’m good for now. Stay safe.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 330, April 20, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! Well, we now know what happens when you put an anti-government person in charge of the government – good job everyone. Here’s a statement I never thought I’d write: The head of the federal government is encouraging  insurrection by 2nd amendment / states’ rights people against their states, for the states themselves implementing federal guidelines set by the head of the federal government. And here’s your quick con law lesson of the day regarding the Second Amendment of The Constitution Of The United States of America: 

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Well, no lesson, really, just the words themselves. That middle bit is in bold just for fun. If only the Founding Fathers wrote sentences that made grammatical sense, none of this would be a problem. Hey! At least it’s 420, we’re all at home, and weed is legal in a lot of places. Happy Monday! On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: We’re # 1!
Why: Because America is so great it collapsed in a pile under its own weight.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. look)
What: Cheap Gas
Why: Because the price of crude oil is the lowest it has been since before World War Two. That is not the picture of a good economy, which is reflective of the fact that 22.2 million (and counting) Americans filed for unemployment over the last 4 weeks. At least the people who need it are getting that government money – oh wait.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Unanimously Good
Why: Because it is finally settled that state juries must rule for convictions unanimously for serious crimes.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: WHO Responds To Failure
Why: Because you should probably be listening to anyone other than Donald Trump regarding COVID-19.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Temporary, Again
Why: Because the Unnamed Temporary Sports Blog is back just in time to cover all of those sports that aren’t happening.

WATCH THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. watch)
What: Super Secret Secret Club
Why: Because you already watched all of Bravo, and there are no more new movies coming out. More importantly, Unlike me, my friend Avery has been incredibly productive during this time, and made a few episodes of a family friendly show (think Blues Clues) from his living room called Super Secret Secret Club. There’s magic, puppets, jokes, songs, and a big stone head. Just watch it.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Trolls Take Over
Why: Because the tagline for the trailer during Ramy specifically for today is “made for kids, but you’ll like it too.” Yes, a kids movie is finally acknowledging stoners (note: I assure you this ad is real and actually exists. For some reason, I cannot find it anywhere on the Internet. I am baffled.)

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Do What Fiona Says
Why: Because Fiona Apple released one of the most essential albums in a while that somehow fits right into all of this madness. It is very good. This New Yorker article about the album and the artist is also fascinating.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Just Look
Why: Because some of these people are the worst of America, and some are the best. I hope I don’t have to explain who is who.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Books On Climate
Why: Because the EPA no longer cares about us, so we need to be better.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Even More Olaf; SO MANY PASTABILITIES! (sorry Meagan); The Song Of Our Times
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Three Twins Ice Cream RIP
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 329, April 13, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! I have officially been sheltering in place for 32 days. That may or may not be the reason why I didn’t get this out yesterday. Sorry for the delay. On to the news, but only the good stuff (I don’t want to make you all sad on a Tuesday. It’s not fair.)

STORY COMPLETED PROJECT OF THE WEEK (quick read)
What: Setting Up The Bedroom
Why: Because on this 32nd day of shelter in place, and 662nd day of living in this house, I finally finished one of the biggest to-do’s on my list. It’s nice not having boxes on the floor that you stub your toe on, let me tell you.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Stocks Were Doing OK!
Why: Because if you happen to be someone who’s still invested in the market, it did OK last week!

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Liberal Justice In Wisconsin!
Why: Because after the clusterfuck of holding an in person election during a pandemic, this is at least a reasonable outcome! Hooray!

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Only Reasonable Man In The Room
Why: Because Dr. Fauci is trying his best to keep American’s safe!

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: NASCAR Virtual Races
Why: Because NASCAR is one sport where great simulations exist, so drivers can compete in real time just like the real thing! The only thing missing is the roar of the engines and casual racism! Oh no! Looks like they still have that in spades! It’s supposed to be RACING, not RACIST, you idiots!

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Dune!
Why: Because Paul Atreides is going to walk without rhythm, so he won’t attract the worm!

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Meet Quibi
Why: Because more TV, but for your phone!

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Weird Al Is A National Treasure
Why: Because this in depth look at the best parody artist in the last four decades will just make you feel good!

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. look)
What: Animals Are Enjoying Our Absence
Why: Because without all the ruckus we usually create, animals seem to be having a good time!

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Virtual Poetry
Why: Because it’s National Poetry Month, and poetry is good!

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Final Fantasy Seven, Again
Why: Because a cultural touchstone for videogames in the US was remade in the version the original always seemed like it was. The wide variety of remakes of original games is a widespread phenomenon in the last few years, but for a reason – video games, more so than movies and TV, are a specifically technology driven media, and the technology finally exists to where all of the ideas that were released in a specific visual format.can finally be realized as the artists originally wanted. For example, here’s the same boss fight from the 1997 vs. the 2020 version. YAY CHUNKY POLYGONS!

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Some Good News!; Cute Fucking House!; Music For Hope!; ZOOM!; Stay The Fuck At Home! 
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: LEGO SUPER MARIO!
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 328, April 5, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! I wasn’t going to do a Webtacular today, because the way I figure, you all are either following as much news as possible because you want to stay up to date on the latest thing that’s happening regarding Covid-19, or you’re purposefully ignoring it because things have only gotten worse since last week – either way, my usual service of “you not having time to read the internet” is completely out the window. However, because I married someone who has better ideas than I do, she suggested I share of list of a collection of things that I have found to help cope with all of this. So here it is. On to … whatever this is.

Movies To Watch Of The Quarantine:
Disney+
Why: Because between the entire Marvel catalog, the classics, (Cinderella, Snow White, Pinocchio, etc.) the meddling but still endearing adventures like Robin Hood and Sword And The Stone, the 90’s Disney animation revival (The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin, etc.), Pixar, and all of Star Wars, you cannot go wrong. If there is one subscription service that you should have during this time, Disney+ is it. Disney thrives on nostalgia, and now is the perfect time to relive happier moments.

Shows To Watch Of The Quarantine:
Ozark
Why: Because worrying about small time money laundering somehow is comforting.
Westworld
Why: Because worrying about robots taking over the world somehow is comforting.
Little Fires Everywhere
Why: Because watching Reese Witherspoon impeccably play yet another rich white “Karen” is somehow comforting.
Tiger King
Why: Because knowing that there are people out there who are more batshit crazy than the current reality is somehow comforting.
All The Prestige TV You Somehow Forgot To Watch
Why: Because whether it’s The Wire or Breaking Bad or The Sopranos or The West Wing or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, you finally have time to watch it all.

Music To Listen To Of The Quarantine:
Whatever Makes You Feel Good
Why: Because these are difficult times. Music is very much subjective, whether due to culture, generation, upbringing, influences, instruments, or any number of reasons. Now is the time to indulge in whatever makes you feel good. For me, that’s a bunch of 90’s alternative / hip-hop and their current iterations, like the new Pearl Jam and Nine Inch Nails. Also, if you play an instrument or sing, now is the perfect time to devote a few hours to learning a song you always wanted to. I’ve personally been working on learning all the parts of Smashing Pumpkin’s 1979. Who knows, maybe by the end of this I’ll record everything. With tools like Apple’s GarageBand or free guitar effect plugins like amplitube, you really can be a one stop recording studio with just yourself.

Food To Eat Of The Quarantine:
HOLY SHIT COOK EVERYTHING
Why: Because this is the first time in forever where most of us legitimately do not have the excuse to not make as much delicious food as we can. This is an insanely weird crisis because the worst of the problems for many of us have not hit yet. There is still food on the shelves, electricity and gas is still available and affordable, and there is $1000 with our names on it that is going to be delivered any day now.
The problem with cooking during normal times is time itself – we are busy with jobs, with friends, with family, that always require us to be somewhere else. The real secret to cooking good food is just having enough time to be around to prepare or check on something. Most times when I get home from work, I just don’t have the energy to think about spending an extra 45 minutes chopping stupid vegetables and prepping a marinade to make a “quick” stir fry. I just drove in traffic for 2 hours, the dog still needs to be walked, and if I try slicing something now it’s just as likely to be my fingers as the thing I’m actually trying to cut. Since I now work a grand 30 steps from my kitchen, all this prep work is nothing. The best of these things that take time more than effort are soups and sauces. Soup – take all the shit you have lying around, throw it in water, cover, and let sit for a few hours.  Sauce – the same, but use less water, and boil that shit down.
Here is a list of things that you should cook since you are home:
Braised Short Ribs
French Onion Soup
Bolognese Sauce
Buttermilk Pancakes
Ratatouille
Latkes
Chicken Fajitas
Tacos Al Pastor
Chimichurri
Butter Chicken
Egg Drop Soup
Go fucking nuts with these – once you have an idea of how something should taste, you can stop following the recipes and start making them your own – not enough spice? Throw those chilies in there. Think it could use more orange zest? Go crazy. Needs more wine? OF COURSE IT DOES. Just because it sucks being stuck at home doesn’t mean your taste-buds have to be sad too.
I’ve also seen lots of people doing the same thing with baking, making delicious looking breads, cakes, cookies, tarts, what have you. Since I am no scientist and like flying by the seat of my pants, I’m going to stick with cooking. You do you, though. Have fun. Be full.

Games To Play Of The Quarantine:
Pandemic Games:
Resident Evil 3
Plague, Inc.
The Last Of Us
A Plague Tale: Innocence
Dishonored
Why: Because most of these games are on the “power fantasy” side of outbreaks where you as an individual can do something to effect change on the world around you. Plus, most of these involve zombies, and killing zombies is always cathartic for some reason.
Non-Pandemic Games:
Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Witcher 3
Divinity: Original Sin 2
World Of Warcraft
Stardew Valley
Super Mario World
Why: Because there is finally time again to dive back into MMOs, beat those super convoluted RPGs, relax and build a town, or jump on a goomba’s head for the trillionth time, just to feel OK.

OK. That’s enough for now. Go try to enjoy yourself as much as you can for the next few weeks while we all get through this together.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™