Greetings Webtaculators! Well, the Trump Presidency officially turned one hundred days old. In his mind, the hundred day marker is stupid, but he’s also doing tremendously, so Trump gave a speech, and then went golfing. The press threw a different sort of party, which the President declined to attend (SAD!) because, well, to put it nicely, his first 100 days have been sort of a mixed bag. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Kickstarting The News
Why: Because the creator of everyone’s favorite citation site now is going to use the same method to tell us what is actually going on in the world. I can’t wait to see how this works out…

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Open Or Closed
Why: Because Trump’s dealing with one of the largest economic drivers in the world is probably going to have serious consequences for the U.S.’ stature.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Elon Musk Must Hates Traffic
Why: Because first he took away the necessity for a human to make bad decisions behind the wheel, and now he’s digging tunnels.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: “We Want Local Control Over Slaves! Err… Schools!”
Why: Because the South can’t seem to remember that it lost the Civil War, and is still trying its hardest to bring back the 1800’s.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. watch)
What: But Where Will I Get Deep Analytics On Off Season Football From Now?
Why: Because ESPN laid off a large part of its workforce this past week.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: Yeah, Baby, Yeah!
Why: Because Austin Powers turns 20 this year, so of course now I feel old.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Oh Good, People Are Calling A Dystopian TV Show “Timely”
Why: Because at least bonnets are going to be back in fashion soon.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (7 min. read)
What: …And The End Of The World Has Its Playlist
Why: Because what better way to deliver the party than through a cartoon band?

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: A Better Way To Write About Food
Why: Because it is kind of funny how food needs to be “discovered” by a white guy in order to become fancy.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Stories In Games
Why: Because a writer for The Atlantic recently claimed that games are better without them. I disagree.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Shootout Survivor; 300 in 90; It’s Gonna Be May
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Bag Of Doritos
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! Sometimes, you just need to head out into the woods with some friends to really appreciate how great the Earth is. Hope everyone had a great Earth Day, and that you were able to get outside at some point as well.

And no, we have no idea who those kids (except for the baby) are either. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The French Connection
Why: Because France has put itself in the position to elect basically the French female version of Trump. France, please do not do this to yourself.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read, but only the first sentence is necessary. I won’t make you read the whole article this time.)
What: From The Horse’s Mouth
Why: Because Papa Bear is gone. This is one of the few times I’ll actually link to a Fox article, only because the article is ridiculous in how far out of its way it goes to defend Bill “Sexual Assault” O’Reilly for his ratings success. The rest of Fox News should just fire themselves and rid the world of their nonsense.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: This Is What You Get
Why: Because the first vote our new Supreme Court Justice cast put a man to death. “Pro-Life” indeed.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: March For Science
Why: Because facts matter. Here are more facts.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (20 min. read)
What: The Player’s Coach
Why: Because coaching is hard. And Steve Kerr is ridiculously good at it. Yes, it helps having some of the best basketball players ever on your side, but getting insanely talented (and highly paid) adults to listen to you and buy in to a program requires a complex interplay between personality, knowledge, and emotional IQ to succeed. Speaking of great athletes, Serena Williams apparently won the Australian Open WHILE PREGNANT. I guess technically that makes it a doubles match…

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (Long Read)
What: Best. Episodes. Ever.
Why: Because the Simpsons already did it.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Everything Old Is New Again
Why: Because Incubus almost makes me feel like a high schooler again, but then I remember that I just paid taxes and that I have to go to work tomorrow and go to the dry cleaners and god damn it I’m an adult I don’t have time for this nonsense.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Sex And Reading
Why: Because I’ll be honest – as a straight white cis male, I have a tendency to read books mostly written by straight white cis males, that focus on plots that mostly fail the Bechdel Test (I also really liked Infinite Jest, and yes, I even read every single footnote, and no, I have never forced cocaine into anyone, Jesus what is wrong with people?). This is a problem. Not because straight white cis male authors are inherently bad, it’s just that I (and you, dear Webtaculator!) would probably benefit from getting a wider view of what all people actually write, or maybe even get an idea of how people who have a different point of view actually think. Given, this is not an easy thing! That’s why I’m asking for suggestions of books that might be outside of my wheelhouse. I realize that this is not a revolutionary idea, and that I’m actually probably way late to this party, but I have to start somewhere and sometime, right? So why not now? And even though the NY Times suggests we read the things we hate, I will never finish Atlas Shrugged, so get that garbage out of here – it is OBJECTIVELY BAD (Get it? It’s an Rand-ian pun, because she’s an objectivist… oh never mind). But most other suggestions are welcome, and I plan on reporting back here once I finish a few of them. Thanks for being part of the Webtacular book club.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: The State Of Video Games
Why: Because I’m glad to find out that I’m still below the average age of game players. Also, this is why there are no more Classic Nintendos available.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Good Food/ Bad Food; They Call Me Mellow Yellow; Many Good Internet Things
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: UPDATE FROM LAST WEEK – SNES Classic
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! I hope that everyone had a very happy Easter! I got to spend the weekend in Portland, which turns out to be a pretty decent place. It also didn’t rain, which was a nice surprise, and no one got thrown off my plane, either! On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (multi-read)
What: Miscommunication
Why: Because, let’s just say that people and companies who are in charge of things basically have no idea how to do their jobs. Spicer, Trump, and  United, get your shit together.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Spiral Downward
Why: Because United’s stock got deservedly destroyed after the video of the airline removing a passenger.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: How About You Don’t Have Sex With Your Aide When You’re Married
Why: Because there is nothing like a gubernatorial sex scandal.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. look)
What: Playoffs!
Why: Because the Warriors have a pretty good chance of winning it all again.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. watch)
What: The Last Jedi
Why: Because Star Wars.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (1 hr. listen)
What: Damn.
Why: Because Kendrick Lamar’s latest album is fire. Oh, also, there’s new John Mayer, too, I guess.

ART THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Girl Vs. Bull
Why: Because it is an interesting question as to whether or not an artist has control over how their art is perceived, even when the answer is undeniably no.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: City Of Books
Why: Because Powell’s is an entire city block filled with everything fit for print. And probably some things that aren’t.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Down With The Rebellion
Why: Because the newest Battlefront lets you play as the Empire. Especially since you can’t buy any new Nintendo Classics.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Go Up; Spicy Is Back; The Peeps Are On Fire
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: NES Classic
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! Well, because our President seemingly has no real plan for running anything besides “do it differently than what other people say to do,” we might now be at … conflict? (definitely not war, because I don’t recall the Senate voting on whether or not we’re at war with anything, other than the vague notion of “terrorism,” or “drugs,” but then again, they’re busy trying to ruin the government on their own) with Syria. The lack of serious deliberation Trump takes on strikingly important matters is now in full view, but again, because SO MANY OTHER THINGS ARE HAPPENING, it is impossible to focus on just what the hell any of this means.

Here’s a broad statement that will probably hold true regarding what will happen: usually, brash actions taken by external actors within Middle Eastern countries tend to have decades-long consequences that are virtually unknowable. (See, e.g., Iraq, Egypt, Israel, Turkey, Yemen, and Afghanistan [yes, not technically the Middle East, but whatever, I doubt Trump understands that] for just a few examples.) Unsuccessfully bombing a foreign military installation of a country that is allied with a world super power, which, until Thursday, the U.S. was appearing to be way cozier to than made sense, and then throwing whatever good will was built up with those entities because a President saw sad pictures IS NOT SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAPPEN, especially when there is no apparent plan. This would definitely be no way to run a business, and is most certainly no way to run a country. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: U.S. Bombs Syria
Why: Because see my rant above. Also, regarding the civilian chemical attack that was the impetus for the U.S.: Yes, chemical attacks by a government on its own population is an atrocious act, but bombing a single air base will not solve that problem.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Do Your Taxes
Why: Because you worked hard this year, and who knows! Maybe this will be the last time you have to struggle through it because Trump’s plan is the best plan. Oh wait, never mind.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Justice Gorsich
Why: Because after a year, at least we have 9 Justices again…

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: The iPad is 7, and Is an iPad
Why: Because for some reason, I own both a laptop and a desktop, but still not one of these revolutionary devices.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Golf Gets Exciting For One Day
Why: And no, not because Trump didn’t play again today, because of course he did.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Still Fast And Furious
Why: Because somehow the series hasn’t jumped the shark, even though there are now submarines and mind control in a series that started about street racing.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Jammin’
Why: Because Pearl Jam is in the Hall of Fame.

ART THING OF THE WEEK (quick look)
What: Reddit Made An Art
Why: Because this is what it looks like when a bunch of people color a bunch of pixels over time.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: How To Win A Hugo
Why: Because even dinosaurs need strippers, apparently.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The NeXt Box
Why: Because Microsoft is releasing a new console.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Steph Is Good At Everything; Put More Bands In Apartments (HT Tim); 10 Years Of Funny Or Die
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Not A Pepsi
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! We did it! We survived the first quarter of 2017. Sadly, that cannot be said for the majority of the college basketball teams. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The LA Times Is Not Impressed
Why: Because  I doubt a major newspaper has ever taken the time to write this much about how bad a sitting president is, especially in this tone:

“It was no secret during the campaign that Donald Trump was a narcissist and a demagogue who used fear and dishonesty to appeal to the worst in American voters. The Times called him unprepared and unsuited for the job he was seeking, and said his election would be a ‘catastrophe.’
Still nothing prepared us for the magnitude of this train wreck.”

To reiterate – here’s a complete rundown of all the things Trump has done so far.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: More Middlemen
Why: Because Rentberry doesn’t need to be paid to do this. Maybe we can all live in Teslacity instead.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: How To Sue The President
Why: Because Trump isn’t very good at lawsuits so far.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Whelp, Congress Didn’t Listen, So Now Your Internet Provider Is
Why: Because now everything you do on the Internet can be tracked and sold. You might want to think about using a VPN, but that doesn’t necessarily help you.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: MadBum
Why: Because baseball is back, and that makes me happy.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. 30 sec. watch)
What: Do Not Click If You Are Terrified Of Clowns
Why: Because clowns are terrifying.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: An Old Pretentious Website Celebrates An Old Pretentious Band
Why: Because I’m kidding – Radiohead is a great band, and OK Computer is a great album. Pitchfork definitely needs help though.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (7 min. read)
What: Comparing Photographs
Why: Because the way that the president is portrayed is important.

PODCAST THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: S-Town
Why: Because the makers of Serial crafted another classic American story.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (20 min. read)
What: Feeling Free
Why: Because sometimes you just want to be able do whatever you want in video games. Or sometimes you might just want to click on all the pixels and help a non-terrifying-but-foulmouthed clown.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Cats; Two Kings; April Fool’s Feels Desperate;  Nerf John Wick
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: VPN Subscription
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™