Webtacular World Issue # 331, April Something, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! It is still April, right? Also, Kim Jung Un might be dead, but maybe not. Who knows! On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Just Add Some Light And Bleach
Why: Because Trump’s blatant stupidity continues to kill people.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Working As Designed
Why: Because big companies are stealing from small businesses. Spending even more money the exact same way should be just fine.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: CWA Lives On
Why: Because there are still three SC Justices who seem to think its just fine that pollutants traveling via groundwater to protected waterways is A-OK.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: DO NOT INJECT BLEACH TO CURE COVID
Why: Because these are things you have to say now.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Drafting For Future
Why: Because there totally is going to be a full football season this year, right?

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Da Bulls
Why: Because The Last Dance extensively covers one of the most famous sports teams in recent history.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. listen)
What: New Rolling Stones? Sure!
Why: Because the Rolling Stones wrote a decent rock song in 2020. Also, Post Malone performed a very good show of nothing but Nirvana covers.

DESIGN THING OF THE WEEK (long watch)
What: How To Imagineer
Why: Because regardless of Disney’s corporate goal, there might not be a bigger supporter of large scale design projects with whimsy at their core.  Here’s how they do it.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (quick look)
What: World Book Day
Why: Because it was world book day in the UK, so read a book, I guess.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (7 min. watch)
What: How To Get Into Gaming
Why: Because there is literally no better time than now.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Earth Day; Brad Fauci; A Closing Business
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: I’m good for now. Stay safe.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 330, April 20, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! Well, we now know what happens when you put an anti-government person in charge of the government – good job everyone. Here’s a statement I never thought I’d write: The head of the federal government is encouraging  insurrection by 2nd amendment / states’ rights people against their states, for the states themselves implementing federal guidelines set by the head of the federal government. And here’s your quick con law lesson of the day regarding the Second Amendment of The Constitution Of The United States of America: 

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Well, no lesson, really, just the words themselves. That middle bit is in bold just for fun. If only the Founding Fathers wrote sentences that made grammatical sense, none of this would be a problem. Hey! At least it’s 420, we’re all at home, and weed is legal in a lot of places. Happy Monday! On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: We’re # 1!
Why: Because America is so great it collapsed in a pile under its own weight.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. look)
What: Cheap Gas
Why: Because the price of crude oil is the lowest it has been since before World War Two. That is not the picture of a good economy, which is reflective of the fact that 22.2 million (and counting) Americans filed for unemployment over the last 4 weeks. At least the people who need it are getting that government money – oh wait.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Unanimously Good
Why: Because it is finally settled that state juries must rule for convictions unanimously for serious crimes.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: WHO Responds To Failure
Why: Because you should probably be listening to anyone other than Donald Trump regarding COVID-19.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Temporary, Again
Why: Because the Unnamed Temporary Sports Blog is back just in time to cover all of those sports that aren’t happening.

WATCH THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. watch)
What: Super Secret Secret Club
Why: Because you already watched all of Bravo, and there are no more new movies coming out. More importantly, Unlike me, my friend Avery has been incredibly productive during this time, and made a few episodes of a family friendly show (think Blues Clues) from his living room called Super Secret Secret Club. There’s magic, puppets, jokes, songs, and a big stone head. Just watch it.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Trolls Take Over
Why: Because the tagline for the trailer during Ramy specifically for today is “made for kids, but you’ll like it too.” Yes, a kids movie is finally acknowledging stoners (note: I assure you this ad is real and actually exists. For some reason, I cannot find it anywhere on the Internet. I am baffled.)

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Do What Fiona Says
Why: Because Fiona Apple released one of the most essential albums in a while that somehow fits right into all of this madness. It is very good. This New Yorker article about the album and the artist is also fascinating.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Just Look
Why: Because some of these people are the worst of America, and some are the best. I hope I don’t have to explain who is who.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Books On Climate
Why: Because the EPA no longer cares about us, so we need to be better.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Even More Olaf; SO MANY PASTABILITIES! (sorry Meagan); The Song Of Our Times
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Three Twins Ice Cream RIP
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 329, April 13, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! I have officially been sheltering in place for 32 days. That may or may not be the reason why I didn’t get this out yesterday. Sorry for the delay. On to the news, but only the good stuff (I don’t want to make you all sad on a Tuesday. It’s not fair.)

STORY COMPLETED PROJECT OF THE WEEK (quick read)
What: Setting Up The Bedroom
Why: Because on this 32nd day of shelter in place, and 662nd day of living in this house, I finally finished one of the biggest to-do’s on my list. It’s nice not having boxes on the floor that you stub your toe on, let me tell you.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Stocks Were Doing OK!
Why: Because if you happen to be someone who’s still invested in the market, it did OK last week!

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Liberal Justice In Wisconsin!
Why: Because after the clusterfuck of holding an in person election during a pandemic, this is at least a reasonable outcome! Hooray!

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Only Reasonable Man In The Room
Why: Because Dr. Fauci is trying his best to keep American’s safe!

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: NASCAR Virtual Races
Why: Because NASCAR is one sport where great simulations exist, so drivers can compete in real time just like the real thing! The only thing missing is the roar of the engines and casual racism! Oh no! Looks like they still have that in spades! It’s supposed to be RACING, not RACIST, you idiots!

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Dune!
Why: Because Paul Atreides is going to walk without rhythm, so he won’t attract the worm!

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Meet Quibi
Why: Because more TV, but for your phone!

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Weird Al Is A National Treasure
Why: Because this in depth look at the best parody artist in the last four decades will just make you feel good!

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. look)
What: Animals Are Enjoying Our Absence
Why: Because without all the ruckus we usually create, animals seem to be having a good time!

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Virtual Poetry
Why: Because it’s National Poetry Month, and poetry is good!

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Final Fantasy Seven, Again
Why: Because a cultural touchstone for videogames in the US was remade in the version the original always seemed like it was. The wide variety of remakes of original games is a widespread phenomenon in the last few years, but for a reason – video games, more so than movies and TV, are a specifically technology driven media, and the technology finally exists to where all of the ideas that were released in a specific visual format.can finally be realized as the artists originally wanted. For example, here’s the same boss fight from the 1997 vs. the 2020 version. YAY CHUNKY POLYGONS!

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Some Good News!; Cute Fucking House!; Music For Hope!; ZOOM!; Stay The Fuck At Home! 
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: LEGO SUPER MARIO!
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 328, April 5, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! I wasn’t going to do a Webtacular today, because the way I figure, you all are either following as much news as possible because you want to stay up to date on the latest thing that’s happening regarding Covid-19, or you’re purposefully ignoring it because things have only gotten worse since last week – either way, my usual service of “you not having time to read the internet” is completely out the window. However, because I married someone who has better ideas than I do, she suggested I share of list of a collection of things that I have found to help cope with all of this. So here it is. On to … whatever this is.

Movies To Watch Of The Quarantine:
Disney+
Why: Because between the entire Marvel catalog, the classics, (Cinderella, Snow White, Pinocchio, etc.) the meddling but still endearing adventures like Robin Hood and Sword And The Stone, the 90’s Disney animation revival (The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin, etc.), Pixar, and all of Star Wars, you cannot go wrong. If there is one subscription service that you should have during this time, Disney+ is it. Disney thrives on nostalgia, and now is the perfect time to relive happier moments.

Shows To Watch Of The Quarantine:
Ozark
Why: Because worrying about small time money laundering somehow is comforting.
Westworld
Why: Because worrying about robots taking over the world somehow is comforting.
Little Fires Everywhere
Why: Because watching Reese Witherspoon impeccably play yet another rich white “Karen” is somehow comforting.
Tiger King
Why: Because knowing that there are people out there who are more batshit crazy than the current reality is somehow comforting.
All The Prestige TV You Somehow Forgot To Watch
Why: Because whether it’s The Wire or Breaking Bad or The Sopranos or The West Wing or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, you finally have time to watch it all.

Music To Listen To Of The Quarantine:
Whatever Makes You Feel Good
Why: Because these are difficult times. Music is very much subjective, whether due to culture, generation, upbringing, influences, instruments, or any number of reasons. Now is the time to indulge in whatever makes you feel good. For me, that’s a bunch of 90’s alternative / hip-hop and their current iterations, like the new Pearl Jam and Nine Inch Nails. Also, if you play an instrument or sing, now is the perfect time to devote a few hours to learning a song you always wanted to. I’ve personally been working on learning all the parts of Smashing Pumpkin’s 1979. Who knows, maybe by the end of this I’ll record everything. With tools like Apple’s GarageBand or free guitar effect plugins like amplitube, you really can be a one stop recording studio with just yourself.

Food To Eat Of The Quarantine:
HOLY SHIT COOK EVERYTHING
Why: Because this is the first time in forever where most of us legitimately do not have the excuse to not make as much delicious food as we can. This is an insanely weird crisis because the worst of the problems for many of us have not hit yet. There is still food on the shelves, electricity and gas is still available and affordable, and there is $1000 with our names on it that is going to be delivered any day now.
The problem with cooking during normal times is time itself – we are busy with jobs, with friends, with family, that always require us to be somewhere else. The real secret to cooking good food is just having enough time to be around to prepare or check on something. Most times when I get home from work, I just don’t have the energy to think about spending an extra 45 minutes chopping stupid vegetables and prepping a marinade to make a “quick” stir fry. I just drove in traffic for 2 hours, the dog still needs to be walked, and if I try slicing something now it’s just as likely to be my fingers as the thing I’m actually trying to cut. Since I now work a grand 30 steps from my kitchen, all this prep work is nothing. The best of these things that take time more than effort are soups and sauces. Soup – take all the shit you have lying around, throw it in water, cover, and let sit for a few hours.  Sauce – the same, but use less water, and boil that shit down.
Here is a list of things that you should cook since you are home:
Braised Short Ribs
French Onion Soup
Bolognese Sauce
Buttermilk Pancakes
Ratatouille
Latkes
Chicken Fajitas
Tacos Al Pastor
Chimichurri
Butter Chicken
Egg Drop Soup
Go fucking nuts with these – once you have an idea of how something should taste, you can stop following the recipes and start making them your own – not enough spice? Throw those chilies in there. Think it could use more orange zest? Go crazy. Needs more wine? OF COURSE IT DOES. Just because it sucks being stuck at home doesn’t mean your taste-buds have to be sad too.
I’ve also seen lots of people doing the same thing with baking, making delicious looking breads, cakes, cookies, tarts, what have you. Since I am no scientist and like flying by the seat of my pants, I’m going to stick with cooking. You do you, though. Have fun. Be full.

Games To Play Of The Quarantine:
Pandemic Games:
Resident Evil 3
Plague, Inc.
The Last Of Us
A Plague Tale: Innocence
Dishonored
Why: Because most of these games are on the “power fantasy” side of outbreaks where you as an individual can do something to effect change on the world around you. Plus, most of these involve zombies, and killing zombies is always cathartic for some reason.
Non-Pandemic Games:
Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Witcher 3
Divinity: Original Sin 2
World Of Warcraft
Stardew Valley
Super Mario World
Why: Because there is finally time again to dive back into MMOs, beat those super convoluted RPGs, relax and build a town, or jump on a goomba’s head for the trillionth time, just to feel OK.

OK. That’s enough for now. Go try to enjoy yourself as much as you can for the next few weeks while we all get through this together.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™