Greetings Webtaculators. Apparently Americans just like killing each other too much to stop. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: The Same Thing Keeps Happening
Why: Because it was another week, so there was another mass murder. Want to know some “wacky” gun facts? The weapon used to kill 10 people waiting in line for a vaccine so they wouldn’t die of COVID was this – a Ruger AR-556 pistol. Now, ignore for a second that “AR” stands for ArmaLite Rifle and the 556 designates e a 5.56x45mm NATO cartilage designed to be fired by rifles, or that anything that looks like this should rationally be called as a “rifle.” It is categorically a pistol – due to its barrel length being under 16 inches, and its “totally not a stock” brace that is in no way designed to be fired from a shooter’s shoulder. Great job everyone.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Boaty McStuckface
Why: Because a giant container ship went perpendicular in the Suez Canal, blocking one of the highest trafficked and important shipping routes for days. Between this and the continuing meme stock debacle, this year is really trying to push the “but business IS quirky!” take on us. 

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Jim Crow Pt. II
Why: Because Republicans apparently cannot win elections where people are allowed to actually vote.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Relief Finally In View
Why: Because in California at least, vaccines will be available to all adults starting in the middle of next month.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Pac-12 Is Somehow Good At Basketball?
Why: Because March Madness continues to earn its nickname.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: One Half Of Mr. Show Goes A’Killin’
Why: Because Bob Odenkirk, best known for his role as Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, is actually a hellluva action star, too, apparently.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: RIP Jessica Walters
Why: Because no one else could make not understanding the price of a banana so endearing.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK ()
What: The One Where Lil Nas X Pole Dances Down To Hell
Why: Because Lil Nas X just made one of the biggest gay music anthems ever.

MUSEUM THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: The Louvre Is Live Online
Why: Because one of the most important museums in the world just catalogued a huge portion of its works for free on its website.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: RIP Beverly Cleary
Why: Because the author of numerous children’s’ books that actually focused on the kids themselves passed away after 104(!) years of age.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Does What It Says On The Box
Why: Because Monster Hunter Rise is the latest in a series of games about slaughtering different monsters for their parts to make armor and weapons for the purpose of slaughtering more monsters, but more efficiently. It is excellent.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Big Boat Stuck; 1998 In Three Minutes; 
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK NEXT YEAR
What: Next Year May We Be Together (So Close!)
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

The travesty of this last week has left my Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) friends reeling in pain they have been experiencing without notice and acknowledgement for far too long.  As far as minorities within the United States go, the AAPI population is viewed as being dealt with fairly and succinctly – a modern day success for how all people of non-white backgrounds should adhere to in America. After all, the “model minority” is dominating all metrics in scholastic achievement (unlikely), “they” are overtaking our media consumption (K-Pop’s internal issues are like American pop on cocaine; and it took until THIS YEAR for an East-Asian American to get nominated for best actor), and have been generally unaffected by racist US policies (a massive lie). What more could a person who identifies as AAPI want out their country????? Being singled out for a large increase in crime rates is probably not what most people would be looking for.

Concurrently, the events of this week demonstrated the abhorrent treatment of women and sex by religious institutions and their followers. The prevalence of “sex as sin,” particularly on the fault women’s inherent desirability driving men to temptation, is something that is much too prevalent in a fair and secular society. With this mindset and lack of actual treatment and general personal accountability, the result is the death of multiple people who the media could not even correctly identify due to racism inherent in the anglicization of naming norms (for example – many [but not all!] Americanized Korean names include the full name as the name [i.e. “Dae Jung Kim’s” given name would be “Dae Jung,” not “Dae,” middle name “Jung.” This means you should probably never abbreviate “Dae Jung Kim” “Dae J. Kim.” Got it?] These things MATTER). Are you tired from thinking yet? Fine. Imagine, simply, the headline “Terrorist Kills Multiple Grandmothers at Work.” That’s what you should take from this event. You should feel worse.

Whiteness is a problem. White men were promised the moon in exchange for existing, and their response is to often lash out at everything around them when the moon they were promised for nothing doesn’t show up. The person who did this was not just “having a really bad day.” As a cis-white male, I am continuously trying to be better. I am also trying to hold others accountable as well, whenever I see it. I am far from perfect – I have made mistakes. BUT I AM TRYING. I hope the rest of you try too. It is not necessarily easy. It may not make you many friends. You will not always get it right. But, with effort, it will make the world a better place. Just try. On to the news. 

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: A Number And A Race
Why: Because a sad / mad young white man shot and killed multiple older women of East Asian decent. The identity killer was more of a story than the people who lost their lives due to a distraught Christian who failed his unyielding belief system. Also, to note, the reporting on this type of violence, for whatever reason, feels like a return to “normalcy.” I hated writing that sentence.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Debt Relief (For Some)
Why: Because Biden’s administration relieved one billion dollars of student debt for those students who enrolled in failed education endeavors. This is an excellent start. 

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (long read; or, in the alternative, 2 min. read for the Article’s introduction, which should suffice as a summary)
What: Choose One
Why: Because these smart people did the work to disprove that I have always believed to be a bad faith argument by right-leaning lawyers and legal scholars. For those in the back – YOU CANNOT BE BOTH AN ORIGINALIST AND “NONDELEGATIONIST” FOLLOWER OF LEGAL AMERICAN THEORY. 

EDUCATION THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Get Ya Paper Here!
Why: Because one of the largest global sources academic papers just made a giant push towards open-access publishing.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Title IX In Action!
Why: Because March Madness (and boy is it mad!) is here, yet it is blatantly obvious how far sports has to go to treating male and female colligate athletes as equals.   

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read [AKA ALL THE TIME YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT THE NEW VERSION OF DC’S ANSWER TO THE AVENGERS])
What: THE SNYDER CUT IS UNLEASHED
Why: Because is it better than the theatrical release? Sure! Is it worth it? Probably not! The real question is do you want to spend four hours dedicating your time to scenes in slooooooow mooootiiiioooon? Also, probably not! Unless you love DC comics! Or Snyder movies! YOU DO YOU.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Only Time I’ll Agree With Adam Levine
Why: Because bands are dying. This is both a good and a bad thing! It is good because it means more individuals are able to self publish and determine what their inner soul is wanting to release. It is bad because it means there is less collaboration, less developing that “it” that only can be reached when multiple people converge on the same task, bringing their own spin to create something that only exists with those people present. This issue is popping up EVERYWHERE (Hey reader! I’ve been “publishing” this unedited and free blog [to you (yes, it costs me money to write this!)] going on eight years! In some other lifetime, I may have been working for a newspaper! WITH AN ACTUAL EDITOR! Instead, you get this, with all of the mistakes and thoughts of a singular careless human being writer you can expect. We no longer have a barrier to entry, so all entries are welcome! Hooray! AHHHH!!!).

Speaking of bands – Kings Of Leon recently released something that sounds pretty good to my 70’s to mid-aughts trained ears. It was good enough to listen through the entire album on a long drive! That is not easy to do. Is it great? Definitely not! But it pleasantly met my expectations. And that is good enough.

ALSO. Anderson .Paak and Bruno Mars – two very successful solo artists – joined together as Silk Sonic to release the funkiest R&B / slow disco this side of the millennium. LONG LIVE BANDS.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Here’s More Books!
Why: Because March may be half way over, but your list of books to read just got longer still. Sorry.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Microsoft Buys Everything
Why: Because Microsoft closed the deal to purchase Bethesda, and immediately placed an immense, well-regarded back-log of games on its Game Pass (think Netflix but for video games) service. 

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Meet Me At McDonald’s; Exhibit #305940 for Why The World Doesn’t Need Billionaires; Florida Man, Personified
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A Billion Dollars (See Above)
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! Like that one show said, “time is a flat circle,” and so here we are, again, one year later. Luckily, we have the 360th issue of Webtacular to also help out with this metaphor – neat!

This weekend marks exactly one year since I started working remotely full time due to COVID. This was undoubtedly the most tumultuous and uncertain period of time in my life. Over the last year, we faced political upheaval, wildfires threatening our home, and a massive economic downturn. My wife and I also got to experience parenthood for the first time, but without the network of familial and friend support we were expecting to be able to rely on. With the increasingly positive news about vaccine effectiveness and availability, COVID’s days are hopefully numbered, and we can all return to a better version of normalcy soon.

But not all things stay the same – last week also marked my final day at the Public Advocates Office at the California Public Utilities Commission – spending the one year anniversary of leaving the office by leaving the organization completely is not something I ever anticipated doing, but here we are. For a bit of background – the CPUC regulates utilities in California – think PG&E, certain telecommunication companies, and water companies. The CPUC essentially acts as the vaunted “invisible hand” of these markets, due to these service providers being natural monopolies. The Public Advocates Office is charged with protecting Californian electric, water, and telecommunications utility ratepayers in an increasingly evolving regulatory landscape. I am incredibly proud of the work my colleagues and I have accomplished over the last decade, whether it was trying to increase California broadband capabilities, keep water rates low, or boost the adoption of distributed energy resources at a reasonable cost, even as the challenge of keeping California going continues to rise.

This also the first time in 20 years(!) where I will not be working in San Francisco. Growing up, I always had the idea in my head this is where I had to end up – its eclectic collection of endless possibilities crammed into a dense, hilly, gorgeous place was the only thing that made sense to me. It’s sad to leave, but it’s time.

So – here’s to new beginnings and new adventures. Hopefully the future holds good things for all of us.

On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: We’ll Never Be ROOOOYYYYAAAALLLLS
Why: Because the crown family is slightly racist! Whoda thunk?

REAL STORY OF THE WEEK(5 min. read)
What: Relief
Why: Because the massive $1.9 trillion COVID benefit funding was passed by the Democrats. Republicans once again failed to do much of anything to help Americans.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Senate Is Broken
Why: Because nothing wastes money and time like a Republican lawmakers.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: More Vaccines, Please
Why: Because the U.S. rollout of its vaccination plan is finally picking up pace. This is terrific.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (some reading)
What: All Stars and Retirees
Why: Because the NBA All-Star game happened when no one really wanted to play, and Drew Brees of the New Orleans Saints pulled an anti Brady and actually will be hanging up his cleats. Oh. Also, a WHOLE BUNCH OF RACISM, because of course.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Eddie’s Back
Why: Because some types of nostalgia are OK. The first one is still entirely entertaining.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK ()
What: The Grammys
Why: Because all art must be a competition for some reason. The voters did a pretty good job this time, even though Phoebe Bridgers didn’t win anything.

ART THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: WTF are NFTs
Why: Because tech ruins everything good.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Not Canceling Culture, One Rhyme At A Time
Why: Because a publisher who owns the rights to a group of books deciding to no longer publish a small hand-full of those books for problematic imagery that doesn’t really fly today is not censorship.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Do Some Loops
Why: Because is playing a game that sort of plays itself actually playing a game?

BIRD THINGS OF THE WEEK (read and watch! they’re about birds, damnit!)
What: BIRDS! BIRDS! BIRDS!
Why: Because Spring is here, along with daylight saving time, so I guess a bunch of people are obsessed about birds all of a sudden.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: SBC, Drug Kingpin; Jake And His Camcorder; How To Be An Intellectual; The Truth About Camo
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Vaccine, Please.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™