Greetings Webtaculators! For reasons that remain unclear (maybe a 3 month old, maybe a looming election, MAYBE BOTH) my body has decided to throw a sleep strike – basically,  I cannot for the life of me fall asleep until 3-4 in the morning. Now, I’ve dealt with bouts of insomnia in my life, but I really haven’t had an issue like this in… let’s say 20 years. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Also – VOTE. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (short reads)
What: Fake News Has Eaten The World
Why: Lying mailers; insane “leaks”; non-answers; a deranged man spewing hate while still holding large gatherings even after he almost died – it’s no wonder people don’t believe anything anymore.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: China’s Rebound
Why: Because its is very likely that China’s economic output will soon sprint pass the US’, assuming it already hasn’t.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: The Problem With Originalists
Why: Because following the “original intent” of a bunch of dead white male slave owners is a crazy way to govern modern life. Also, considering the first number of presidents were active signers of the Constitution, it should be telling that each had a very different idea of what the document they wrote meant.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Too Much Politics BAD
Why: Because maybe this is why I’m sleeping poorly…

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: BuT HOw WIlL BRIXerTon GeT INtO YAlE NOW?!?!
Why: Because the Lakers winning was a given, so let’s instead pay attention to the crazy wealthy people who make sure badminton stays a college sport. I completely realize that as a person who played and coached lacrosse at college preparatory school, I am part of the problem.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: John Brown’s Body Marches On
Why: Because Good Lord Bird is somehow both a funny and serious take on America’s most famous, violent white abolitionist. It is good. Watch it.

ANIMATION THING OF THE WEEK (long read/ watch)
What: The Most Important Sequences In Animation
Why: Because these works helped define much of our modern entertainment, culture, and ways of thinking. 

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (long listen)
What: Save Our Stages
Why: Because if you’ve been missing live music like I have, you can watch this weekend’s performances at a number of venues across the US that are struggling due to COVID. Donate if you can. Some of the performances you should check out are FINNEAS, Phoebe Bridgers, Rise Against, Brittany Howard, Nathaniel Rateliff, and Portugal. The Man (Foo Fighters are a given). 

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: Nature!
Why: Because humans are starting to feel somewhat overrated.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: More Words To Look At With Your Eyeballs
Why: Because you can’t read too much, or so I’ve been told.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: The Joyous Sound Of An Elephant Combined With A Squealing Car
Why: Because EA finally released an amazing Star Wars game. It is not super long, or super complicated, or even an original of concept, but it is expertly executed and lets you screech around the stars as a TIE Fighter blasting those pesky Rebels to space dust.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Bill Burr Strikes Again; Bears And Libertarians Don’t Mix; It Got Worse
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Sleep
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Just. Wow. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Trump Got COVID
Why: Because during a week that felt like a decade, Trump went and caught himself a disease that isn’t that serious according to him and his followers, even though he is currently (? [I seriously have no idea he is alive or dead because everything from the announcement to health updates to parading his contagious, disease ridden body around the hospital have been steeped in lies and misdirection]) receiving emergency treatment meant for severe cases at Walter Reed. Somehow Trump telling a bunch of racists to “stand by” during the debates, his taxes finally coming out in public, a massive attack on voting from Federal and State Conservatives, and the Azerbaijani / Armenian proxy war that is going on are suddenly too small of news, because this fucker has been playing with fire for the past year, and finally dropped the match in lighter fluid. I hate this year.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Trump’s Taxes
Why: Because he is either broke, committing fraud, or some combination of both.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: The Anti RBG
Why: Because someone described Amy Barrett’s nomination as the equivalent of Ginsburg having built a sold well trod road, and then Barrett comes along and destroys the path behind her. Also, a whole bunch of people got COVID at her nomination day because Conservatives hate science, and failed to practice basic safety measures.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: COVID Is Real
Why: Because we are up to as many cases as we had back in the beginning fucking July. Because we aren’t wearing masks. Because we aren’t practicing social distancing. Because we’re not utilizing basic hygiene. Given, it is already way too late to stop it, because Americans are selfish assholes who cannot be minimally inconvenienced to save people’s lives, but maybe, just maybe use that selfishness to protect yourself an your loved ones. 

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Football Is Falling Apart
Why: Because unlike the NBA, the NFL decided to say fuck it, we don’t care about anyone. Multiple games have been postponed due to team outbreaks.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Tenet Is Here, But Don’t See It
Why: Because watching a movie in a theater is not worth risking your life for.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Fleet Foxes Get Happy
Why: Because leave it to Robin to write the happiest songs of his career during one of the darkest moments. Or, if you want to stick with darker indie, Sufjan Stevens just released an album too. Or, if you want nothing to do with the modern era, go revisit any one of these albums.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: STAY THE FUCK INSIDE
Why: Because this glorious asshole just exposed his protection to COVID to pretend he’s not sick.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Solutions And Other Problems
Why: Because Allie Brosh, former participant of the good Internet of the 2010s, just released her second book.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (short look)
What: Microsoft Vs. Sony, Chapter 4
Why: Because the next generation of game consoles are just around the corner. Trying to buy them was a mess. Welcome to your digital future.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Olde Time Mac And Cheese; Vote; The NY Times Op-Ed We Deserve
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: You know what, nothing. That’s right universe, I am good. I have absolutely everything I need. Everything is just fine, so, you can stop asking. I mean, it’s not like for the past few months I’ve been asking for a reprieve from insanity, but somehow things keep on getting exponentially moreso, or something. Nope. Nothing needed here. Just carry on your merry way.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™