Greetings Webtaculators! By the end of Tuesday, we will know who our next President is. Yay? Also, at least in California, we will know whether or not porn actors can have sex without condoms, weed will be legal, or the death penalty will still be allowed. I am pretty sure I can speak for everyone that I am not sad that this election cycle is finally over. Oh. Also, set your clocks back. Because you should have already done that. On to the news.

CA VOTING THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Who I Voted For
Why: Because more than one of you asked me how you should vote. This is a terrible way to go about it, but here it is (sorry non-Californians. Just scroll past this part. This is why CA’s proposition system is nonsense).

What: President
Vote: Clinton
Why: Because she is the best candidate for the job, and I’ve stated my preference for her previously. Oh. And those emails didn’t matter.

What: Senator
Vote: Harris
Why: Because her time as an effective District Attorney in SF and Attorney General in CA have demonstrated her political leadership.

What: Prop 51 – School Bonds
Vote: Yes
Why: Because funding education is important.

What Prop 52 – Medi-Cal Hospital Fee
Vote: Yes
Why: Because Medi-Cal provides health care funding to millions of Californians.

What: Prop 53 – Constitutional Amendment For Bonds
Vote: No
Why: Because bonds should be approved by Congress. That’s how representative democracy works. We already have enough propositions.

What: Prop 54 – 72 Hours For Legislature Votes
Vote: No
Why: Because messing with the legislative process is not something I like to do.

What:Prop 55 – Tax Extension To Fund Education And Healthcare
Vote: Yes
Why: Because if you make more than $250,000, you can afford it.

What: Prop 56 – $2.00 Cigarette Tax Increase
Vote:  Yes
Why: Because cigarettes are bad.

What: Prop 57 – Potential Parole for Nonviolent Felons
Vote: Yes
Why: Because jail is expensive, and a potential for parole does not mean automatic parole.

What: Prop 58 – English Proficiency In Education
Vote: Yes
Why: Because effectively teaching English to students is a generally good thing.

What: Prop 59 – Ask Politicians To Propose A Federal Amendment To Overturn Citizens United
Vote: Yes
Why: Because I don’t like Citizens United, even though this will not work.

What: Prop 60 – Require Adult Film Actors To Use Condoms
Vote: No
Why: Because this is absurd. Seriously, why is this on the ballot?

What: Prop 61 – State Prescription Drug Purchases
Vote – Abstain
Why: Because although I am one of the people who most likely would benefit from this passing (I work for the CA government), there are enough unknowns regarding drug pricing that I don’t know if it will actually make the prices of drugs actually go down in the long run. Because I also don’t want to actively vote against my own interest, I’m just going to sit this one out.

What: Prop 62 – Death Penalty Repeal
Vote: Yes
Why: Because we don’t need the state killing people. We are better than that.

What: Prop 63 – Background Checks On Ammunition
Vote: Yes
Why: Because Chris Rock had a pretty good idea regarding bullets.

What: Prop 64 – Marijuana Legalization
Vote: Yes
Why: Because I can’t remember.

What: Prop 65 – Carryout Bag Tax
Vote: Yes
Why: Because I like supporting the environment. It probably won’t pass.

What: Prop 66 – Death Penalty Enhancement
Vote: No
Why: If I don’t want the death penalty, then I definitely don’t want hyper speed death penalty.

What: Prop 67 – Ban On Single Use Plastic Bags
Vote: Yes
Why: Because plastic bags are bad, even though they keep my Chinese food pickups from spilling all over my car.

PHEW.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (25 min. listen)
What: Poverty In The United States
Why: Because there are a lot of myths about poverty that continue to color people’s view about the subject.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Brexit Blow
Why: Because a British court ruled that Parliament must rule on whether or not they actually leave the E.U. A whole bunch of Parliament never wanted the referendum to occur in the first place.This will be interesting.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: VR Squared
Why: Because the Magic Leap basically wants to jump right past VR into your home, and office, and eyeballs.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Curse Is Lifted
Why: Because Game 7 of the World Series was one of the best baseball games I have ever seen. Congratulations to all the Cubs fans out there.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Gibson Returns
Why: Because Mel somehow made a movie about pacifism extremely gory. Kinda like the Passion of The Christ. Hmmm…

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Kickin’ It One Last Time
Why: Because I can’t wait to hear Tribe rhyme again, even if Phife is no longer here.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Don’t Make Fun Of Dan
Why: Because Inferno flopped, so it’s always good to remember that Dan Brown is a bad author.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (20 min. watch)
What: How To Build A Rocket
Why: Because Danny O’Dwyer does a great job of showing just how hard making a game can be.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Where The Heck Is Matt?; Hunter Pence Won Halloween; Now I Want Bacon
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A Woman In The White House.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! Halloween is upon us! Glory be to the tricks and the treats. I was a patriotic pegacorn. What were you? On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Emails
Why: Because on Friday, you know, the last day of the week when the majority of the American population stops paying attention to the news, the Director of the FBI decided to send a letter saying that there were emails that may be related to Clinton’s ongoing email investigation. The problem is the “may,” because this potential re-investigation will not be done by the time people vote, and therefore probably effects the election. Which is illegal.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What:Un-Justice
Why: Because way back in January, a bunch of yahoos took over a federal wildlife center in Oregon. This week, they were found not guilty of having guns in a federal building, conspiring to prevent government workers from doing their jobs, and stealing federal property. Even though we all saw it happen. Unbelievable.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (1 min. read)
What: Bye Vine!
Why: Because the platform that brought us these gems is now dead thanks to Twitter’s inability to figure out how to monetize hundreds of millions users.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: The Cubs Live To Play Again
Why: Because the Cubs beat the Indians in game 5, so baseball isn’t quite done yet.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Be Glad You Don’t Have Kids Yet (For Those Of You Who Do, I Am Sorry You Have To Listen To More Justin Timberlake)
Why: Because Trolls are back for some reason.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read, 24 min. listen)
What: The Black Parade
Why: Because music and identity often go hand-in-hand, to the point what genre a person likes determines what they wear, who their friends are, and how the music relates to them. This can be especially confusing for people who enjoy music that may not traditionally fit another part of their identity, such as their ethnicity or race.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. watch)
What: Good Luck With The Wall
Why: Because these 200,000 or so photographs of the contiguous boarder between the U.S. and Mexico shows the scale of just how ridiculous of an idea it is to try to build a wall between the two countries.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Oxford University Press’ Favorites
Why: Because these are the favorite books of the people who still know how to use the Dewey Decimal System.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Shoot All The Robots
Why: Because for some reason, 2016 decided to be the year where a bunch of different first person shooters decided to be really, really good games. Doom, Overwatch, and Battlefield 1 all have already done some interesting things in space that was already thought to be pretty well defined. Looks like we have to wait for the next Call of Duty in three days to see if it keeps the innovation going.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: SNL Halloweens; Monster Mash; Pumpkins In Space
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Costume Ideas For Next Year. (Seriously, I’m out of them.)
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! I am personally very grateful that I will not have to sit through another “presidential” debate for another four years, because I can’t imagine them being any more horrific than they were. At least SNL has been killing it with their openings. Also, the baseball gods didn’t disappoint, and made the Giants’ loss to the Cubs worth it. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Just A Few More Weeks…
Why: Because on November 8th, California might legalize pot, get rid of the death penalty, or force porn stars to wear condoms.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: AT&T Wants To Buy Time Warner For $85 Billion
Why: Because telecommedia (my own term for what these behemoth businesses are) is consolidating at an alarming clip.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: LA Just Can’t Win
Why: Because the Dodgers have not reached the World Series in their last 10 playoff appearances. I almost feel bad…

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Madea Wins The Box Office
Why: Because Tyler Perry’s version of Ernest Does Something pulled in $25 mil. in a limited release.

TELEVISION / THEATER THING OF THE WEEK (1 hr. 30 min. watch)
What: Alexander Hamilton America Sings For You
Why: Because PBS’ documentary on the musical is available online, and you should probably watch it.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: 30th Annual Bridge School Benefit Concert
Why: Because I got to go to one of the most heartfelt large concerts again this afternoon. Also, my newly favorite thing at concerts is people watching. Today’s best example was a guy screaming WOOOOOO!!!! and FUCK YEAH DMB!!!! through an entire Dave Matthews acoustic guitar set at a concert to support kids with severe mobility and speech impediments. I have never seen someone so inappropriately stoked to be somewhere. The comidy was basically as good as the music itself.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. look)
What: Meant To Do That
Why: Because nothing is better than ridiculous looking animals.

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (6min. read)
What: Bourdain’s World
Why: Because Anthony Bourdain remains one of the most interesting American and international cultural commentators of our generation.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. watch)
What: Introducing The Nintendo Switch
Why: Because Nintendo’s last foray into the console world was… not great. Hopefully this product is more successful.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Kabbadi Runnings; Meet David S. Pumpkins; Borrowed Time
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Nasty Woman
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! Hey! Northern California finally got some rain! Its kinda nice. Hopefully we get some more. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: Trump’s Implosion
Why: Because Trump is trying his best to bring the whole country down with him. At least SNL is somehow managing to keep this entertaining in the meantime.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: How To Respond To Claims Of Libel
Why: Because the New York Times basically set the precedent for modern libel law, so it probably knows what it’s talking about.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Trying To Tackle Climate Change
Why: Because this deal to curb the use of hydroflurocarbons will go a long way to fight global warming. Of course, many people in the U.S. still don’t believe climate change is a real thing.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Go Giants Go Cubs
Why: Because baseball is bullshit and I hate sports forever (until next season).

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. watch)
What: Rogue One Is Soon
Why: Because the latest commercial was just released, and it seems like Disney is finally ready to tell us what the hell it’s actually about.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. watch)
What: Planet Earth II: Planet Earthier
Why: Because the original Planet Earth show was one of the most spectacular things I have ever seen, and I can’t wait to watch another one.

MUSIC / LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Wins A Nobel Prize For Literature?
Why: Because Bob Dylan won the Noble prize in literature.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK ()
What: Free The Nipple
Why: Because our culture still has a very weird relationship with women’s breasts, since they are perfectly fine until there is a hint of an areola. One photographer is trying to fight back.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Battlefield Growing Pains
Why: Because video games seem to be trying to tackle their subject matter in more meaningful ways than before, even if the games themselves still make parts of war seem fun.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: How To Play Music; The Washington Post Was Actually Funny; All About Bidets
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Nobel Prize
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! I dunno about you all, but these debates give me heart palpitations. At least there are other important things happening in the world to put off thinking about the election until I actually get to vote. Hopefully enough other people make the correct decision. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Global Warming In Real Time
Why: Because Hurricane Matthew devastated Haiti, and just produced record storm levels in South Carolina.

POLITICAL THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: DO NOT VOTE FOR TRUMP
Why: Because this is not just “locker room” talk. This is an almost 60 year old man (at the time) bragging about sexually assaulting women. I am appalled that Trump is still a candidate, or that anybody thinks that he would be a good representative of our country.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: How To Dine Out As A Couple
Why: Because sharing is caring.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK ()
What: Rick And Morty Go To Court
Why: Because this is a real transcript of a real court proceeding. It probably explains a lot about our court systems. Or not.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Germany Looking To Ban Internal Combustion Engines By 2030
Why: Because this is a major move by a country to electrify its vehicles.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: NPR Does Sports
Why: Because this transcript is both explanatory and ridiculous.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (2 hr. watch)
What: Nightline’s Take 
Why: Because PBS makes great documentaries.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Wicky Wicky Wild Wild West
Why: Because Westworld is shaping up to be a very interesting show.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (7 min. listen)
What:Music By People I Know
Why: Because Easway and The Blemish are two artists who have been making music for a while, and their new releases are bangers.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Funniest Books
Why:  Because funny books are usually written by funny people, so here are 82 of them.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Sony’s Take VR
Why: Because the third and final of the big Virtual Reality experiences just arrived. You might want to wait until the next generation of devices come out, because consensus seems to be that none of the current platforms (the Vive, Oculus, and now the PlayStation VR) all do some things well, but not all.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Running Or Biking?; Ken Bone; Cool Kicks
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: New Car
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

And the winner of the first ever Webtacular World Contest is… Emily! Congratulations! Enjoy the show. As for the response, well, the response was HUGE. It was great, and the best response that a contest has ever had. Everyone says it is. But seriously, thanks for reading this dumb thing.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian

Greetings Webtaculators! My favorite season of the year is finally here – Halloween and Thanksgiving are just around the corner, SF finally gets its summer, and baseball is finally worth watching, along with all the other sports that are starting up again as well. Also, today happens to be the start of Rosh Hashanah, or the Jewish New Year for you non-Jews out there. So L’shanah Tovah everyone.  On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: A Hell Of A Week For Trump
Why: Because the guy somehow made one of the worst debate performances in history even worse. Not many people spend their night tweeting people to watch porn, but apparently that’s OK for a presidential candidate.  I really have no words.

WORLD NEWS OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: No To Peace
Why: Because Colombia voted against a referendum for peace with FARC, who the country has been internally at war with for the last 50 or so years. I’m seriously starting to reconsider the whole entire democracy experiment based on how the world seems to be voting for things this year.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (12 min. read)
What: Bad Business
Why: Because oh, and the NY Times got a hold of some of Trump’s taxes, and his “business” does not look good.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Congress Really Should Read Past The Title
Why: Because the first override of a Presidential Veto potentially opens up the U.S. to some foreign lawsuits.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Boldly Going
Why: Because Elon Musk is aiming to colonize Mars within our lifetimes.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: EVEN YEAR
Why: Because the Giants somehow swept LA to make it to the post season. It was also announcer Vin Scully’s final call, and Pagan should be a wrestler.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. watch)
What: Yo Ho Yo Ho
Why: Because another round with Captain Jack is just what you needed.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Good Winter
Why: Because Bon Iver just released his newest work, which is almost entirely different than his breakout For Emma, Forever Ago.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Aurora Nights
Why: Because the Aurora Borealis was in full effect, so Iceland turned off its lights.

FASHION THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Finding Fashion
Why: Because when I was 13, I was wearing baggy cords and white tee shirts with a backwards baseball cap. Some day I’ll dress as well as this kid.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: The Mafia, The N-Word, And Video Games
Why: Because Austin Walker, Editor In Chief of Vice’s Gaming site, has a poignant discussion about race in video games            c with the developer of the latest Mafia game.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Thoughts And Prayers; SNL Debates; Odnarotoop
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN YOURSELF OF THE WEEK
What: Lumineers Concert Tickets At The Greek Theatre.
A very webtacular thank you goes out to Jan and Nora for sponsoring Webtacular World’s first ever contest! The first person to respond to webtacularworld@gmail.com with the phrase “This Webtaculator deserve to win tickets from the webtaculariest website there is” in the subject line will win two tickets to see the Lumineers this Thursday night, October 6, at 6:00 PM at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley, CA. If this goes well, there might be more things like this in the near future. If not, well, it just affirms that no one reads this anyway.
Why: Because Brian you deserve it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! The sad thing about vacations is that about two days after you get back from one, it seems like it happened way too long ago and it’s already time for another one. Thanks for nothing honeymoon! Basically all I learned is that I want infinite money and no job so I can travel around Italy eating pasta all day. If anyone knows how to make that a reality, let me know. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Oh Right, Mass Murder Is Now Normal
Why: Because I almost forgot that this happened. I was going to potentially write about how I’m pretty sure that Trump is the first Presidential candidate who received an explicit anti-endorsement from an editorial board of a major newspaper for why he must not be President, or maybe more about the Charlotte Police releasing the video of the killing of Keith Scott. Now, something like this gets buried under all the other terrible things that happened, because 5 people dying at a mall is no longer interesting to us as a nation, or just that there are so many other terrible things that are going on that there is not enough room to remember to print these sorts of things for more than one day. Or I guess Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up matters more. I don’t know.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: For Profit Schools Get An F In Education
Why:

GENIUS THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: The MacArthur Geniuses
Why: Because these people were recognized for trying to make the world a more beautiful place.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What:The Death Of A Rising Star And An Established One
Why: Because Jose Fernandez was going to be one of the most dominant pitchers in baseball, and Arnold Palmer was one of the most storied golfers in history. Their talent will be missed.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Respecting Cartman’s Authoray For 20 Years (GOD I’M OLD)
Why: Because South Park turned 20. Rolling Stone Magazine also thinks it’s the 33rd best television show ever.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Bran / Gelina
Why: Because see my rant above

ART THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: The MOMA Through Time
Why: Because the New York Museum of Modern Art is one of the most interesting museums in the world, and they have kindly document all of their exhibitions on their website for your pleasure.

MUSIC / LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Violentus Femminus!
Why: Because J.K. Rowling participated in an album review of the Violent Femmes.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Finally, A Racing Game For Me
Why: Because car racing games have the problem where since you’re not feeling the rubber meeting the road, it usually isn’t that fun, because who wants to follow rules when you’re relaxing? The new Forza seems to fix that problem.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Ig Nobel Prize; Fucking Fall Again; Oh Good, Andrew Sullivan Is Telling Me To Get Off The Internet, Because He Already Read It All And It Made Him Sad Or Something
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Decorative Gourds
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Greetings Webtaculators! Sorry for the lack of updates along my vacation – wifi was super spotty, and I was too busy stuffing my face and drinking wine (see below) to do too much computer related. Also, I’m extremely jet lagged, and it’s basically 6 AM and I haven’t slept in whatever time zone I’m used to so this is going to be a quick one. I’ll give a better update after I get some sleep. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (5 min. watch)
What: Campaign Update
Why: Because I leave the country for less than 2 weeks, and Trump is somehow almost even with Clinton. Ok.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Sugar Vs. Fat
Why: Because apparently the whole war against fat in our diets was due to the sugar industry. Is there any business that isn’t willing to kill its customers?

LAW THING OF THE WEEK ()
What: Pardon Snowden / Don’t Pardon Snowden
Why: Because rarely has the legal status of a single fugitive(?) been so widely debated.

HEALTH THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Top 100 Health Inventions
Why: Because this is what’s allowing us to stay alive due to all the sugar and fat we eat.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (20 sec. watch)
What: Football’s Back, And So Are The Idiots.
Why: Because football. Also, this catch.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (Way too long watch. Seriously. Make it 22 minutes.)
What: The Emmys!
Why: Because no one watches scheduled TV anymore, so you might as well catch the end if you’re on the West Coast.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Nothing But The Boss
Why: Because Bruce Springsteen has a ridiculously long catalog.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: I Read A Book!
Why: It was Thomas Pynchon’s Inherent Vice, and it didn’t entirely make me want roll my eyes back through my head and down the road so I wouldn’t be able to read anymore. Unlike The Circle. So that’s a big improvement.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Mario On The iPhone
Why: Because I forgot to include this last week. Oops! But really, it’s insane (from a historical perspective) that Nintendo is releasing one of its most popular properties on an outside console.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Kottke.org Redesign; Two Raptors Enter, One Raptor Leaves; Homer’s Jobs
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Return Trip To Italy
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Saluti Webtaculators! Welcome to the first ever Italian edition of Webtacular World. No, I assure you that I am not writing this at 4:30 AM, because that would be ridiculous. Instead, I am writing this from my villa in Tuscany in the early afternoon, because I have a little free time between my carriage ride and pasta making class. Being on a honeymoon is fun.

For those of you who aren’t used to this, here’s what’s happening: basically, whenever I travel, I create a way-too-long recap of my day-to-day activities in excruciating detail. And footnotes. Many of them. However, due to the limitations of WordPress as a publication platform, I sadly will not be able to include as many side notes as you might be accustomed to. I apologize.

Our trip to Italy began at 4 PM on Tuesday of last week from SFO. The travel itself was some of the smoothest I have ever experienced. Everything was on time, there were no lost bags, and Air France gets additional bonus points for treating alcohol like a normal beverage, in that it’s provided free of charge. It would have been absolutely stress free save for the fact that I did the last thing a new husband should ever do – I lost my wedding ring on the plane.

As someone who is relatively new to finger adornment, getting used to wearing something that is a physical symbol of your everlasting love takes some time. My personal ring wearing situation is quite unique in that my left ring finger veers about 20 degrees to the right at the second joint from some unknown childhood injury. This is further compounded by the fact that my finger’s circumference continuously varying between the size of a fat sausage to bone thin. Basically, I learned that my left hand is now not usable to do normal things, since as I was in the middle of packing up all the books and headphones for the landing, I noticed that the ring was missing from my finger. Instead of quietly dealing with this minor problem on my own, I quickly raised my hand, showed it to Meagan, pointed to the naked finger, and said “My ring is gone.” If you ever really want to freak your significant other, you should totally repeat those exact steps. We both started tearing apart our section of the plane, and luckily for me, I was able to find it buried in the bottom of one of my bags. I will soon be getting my ring resized to basically be a vise for my finger.

With the drama out of the way, I could resume my quest to enjoy Italy in the way I intended – eat and drink my way through it. Basically, my goal was to be in a continuous state of consumption until I pass out from fullness. Italy has so far been almost overeager to comply with this request. Breakfast has been starting for us around 10 AM with a plate of cheese, bread, and sliced meats, along with the best cappuccino I have ever tasted. At around Noon, we will have lunch, which as far as I can tell, is just first dinner. You know how Italian restaurants in the U.S. will say things like “Primi” and “Secondi,”on the menus, as though you should be expected to eat both pasta and a steak in the same meal? Well, essentially, they do. For roughly 10 Euro, you can get a giant plate of Tagliatelle followed immediately with a plate of grilled lemon chicken. Oh. This also usually includes a glass of wine. Because Italy. Of course, you could always do a panini, but that seems against the spirit of this trip. So far, this has been followed up by desert, usually either tiramisu or gelato, and then immediately by nap time. Dinners are usually a repeat of this around 7-9 PM, just with larger portions and a bottle or 2 instead of a glass. Basically, food heaven.

Don’t worry though! Eating is not the only thing we have done! We spent our first three days in Florence. The first day we took ourselves on a “let’s get lost” tour of the city. It’s small enough where you can walk everywhere, but because the Medicis were terrible city planners, it really doesn’t follow any sort of rhyme or reason to any of its streets. For example, there are red and black versions of the same address which are different places. You basically walk in a direction, until you run into some sort of plaza, where you may be able to identify one of the many beautiful churches which can act as a beacon. Then you proceed until you need to reorient yourself again. It’s fun. I promise.

The second day we spent gazing upon some of the most unbelievable art in existence, including Michelangelo’s Statue of David in the Galleria dell’Accademia and Botticelli’s Birth of Venus in the Uffizi Gallery. The thing about many of these works of art that was most surprising to me is their scale and size. A stamp-sized reprint in a 6th grade textbook really doesn’t do them any justice. David is 17 feet tall, and basically entirely proportional. It’s amazing.

Yesterday, we traveled out to the Tuscan country side to our Villa. And by traveled, I mean I drove a tiny Alpha Romeo through those same streets that were in no way designed for vehicular navigation. I managed to avoid other cars that take lanes as suggestions rather than the law, tourists who think they’re invincible, and mopeds, which basically are the only thing that make sense to drive here. We are situated on top of a small hill surrounded by idyllic farmland that is somehow still green. Whelp, time to get cooking. I’ll up with you all next week. Ciao! On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Give Me My Jack!
Why: Because Apple was “courageous” and removed the audio jack and are selling $140 wireless ear buds in the newest version of its flagship device. I’m still getting one (eventually), but people are mad. Hilariously.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Who Will Defend The Defenders?
Why: Because Public Defense in the United States is slowly deteriorating. The amazing people who do this work need more support.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. watch)
What: Concussion Season’s Back!
Why: Because Cam Newton got absolutely hammered in the Panther’s opening game against the Broncos. It’s going to be a great season!

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Your Next Favorite Movie Performance
Why: Because the Venice Film festival has done a pretty good job at predicting oscar winners.

TV THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: 50 Years Of Going Boldly
Why: Because Star Trek is one of the most influential shows ever.

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (20 min. read)
What: Hot Chicken
Why: Because this is an amazing piece of writing on a delicious cultural phenomenon. Look for the $15 version in the hipster neighborhood of your local city soon.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (long lessons)
What: How To Take Pictures
Why: Because you carry a pretty powerful camera around in your pocket, so you should probably understand how to use it well.

DESIGNER THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Clothes Should Fit People
Why: Because Tim Gunn of Project Runway fame makes the case that clothes need to be designed for how people actually look.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: PS4 Pro
Why: Because video game consoles are slowly becoming actual PCs. Also, Mario is coming to the iPhone.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Choo Choo!; Crappy Robots Are Crappy; If Only The Movies Were This Fun; Drugs Are Bad
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Hot Chicken
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™