Sorry for the late post, everyone. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Well, I Guess The Rockefellers Already Made Enough Money Off Of Oil
Why: Because it’s big news when the family name that means oil decides it’s no longer that smart to keep on investing in it.

BUSINESS THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: The Face Of North Face
Why: Because the ideals of conservation and people don’t always get along as well as they should.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Murder Was The Case That They Gave Me
Why: Because now Scalia hopefully knows the lyrics to a Snoop song or two.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Star Trek Is Basically Going To Happen Now
Why: Because now astronauts get to drive space Teslas.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Somehow It’s Still Less Violent Than Football
Why: Because fighting with swords is awesome.

TV THING OF THE WEEK (1 min. watch)
What: South Park Still Has It
Why: Because there is no way that a show I started watching in 7th grade should still be relevant (See, Simpsons), but here we are.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Very Few People Like U2
Why: Because the new album is actually not that entirely bad (sorry Meagan!).

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: It Should Be Renamed Chirp Chew
Why: Because they’re good for you.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: As You Wish
Why: Because The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Destiny Good / Destiny Bad
Why: Because Destiny is game that is being almost universally panned for its lack of structure even though it probably has the best shooting mechanics since Halo. Oh, and it still made over $350 Million in its first 5 days on sale, regardless.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK
What: Genuine Bona Fide Electrified Six Car Monorail; Disney + Food = Oddly Decent Reading; Since They Figured Out What The Fox Said, Now They Have To Learn To Tie Knots.
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A Dragon
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™