LET’S GO GIANTS! On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Apparently Still Ebola (Sigh)
Why: Or, according to emails of readers of the NY Times, Eating Late At Night Is Dangerous. Quick note from the Journal of Advanced Practice Nursing – More Americans Have Been Married To Kim Kardashian Than Have Died from Ebola. Or, for those of you who only respond to serious considerations:

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Sneaker Heads And Economics
Why: Because shoes shouldn’t cost that much.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5.5 min. watch)
What: Dog Court
Why: Because the Supreme Court is so much better with animals.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read, 1.5 min. watch)
What: Suck It, Felix!
Why: Because that has to be the only thought Googler Alan Eustace had when he decided to become the new record holder for highest skydive, since for some reason only being Google’s Senior Vice President of Knowledge (yes, really) apparently isn’t good enough.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: MAS GIGANTES
Why: Because October.

TV THING OF THE WEEK (277 + hour watch)
What: Every. Simpsons. Ever.
Why: Because it is the worst. show. ever. now available whenever you want.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Bridge School Benefit
Why: Because this is one of my favorite concerts of the year for a wonderful cause.

PERFORMANCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. watch)
What:Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf
Why: Because he actually wasn’t that bad in Fury.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: How To Survive In The Amazon
Why: Because writing books is hard.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: You Guys! Marcel’s Back!; Getting Old Sucks; Reading Fucking Rainbow
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Tickets Please
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™