Too much happened this week. Very happy it’s Thanksgiving soon. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: This Is What Happens When Politics Loses Its Mind
Why: Because the amount of political stories with far reaching implications take too much time to explain in separate headings.

BUSINESS THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: The Future Of Cruising Is Here
Why: Because this is what our fun is going to be when we turn into water world.

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (7 min. read)
What: Eat These Things
Why: Because they are the closest things to cultural food that the US has.

LANGUAGE THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: 😀
Why: Because emojis are basically a universal language.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (1.5 min. watch)
What: Messi Is The Best
Why: Because what this man has accomplished is legendary.

TV THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Definitely Not Bill Huxtable
Why: Because when a character who is portrayed on TV as a roll model has does not match up with the realities of the person who portrays the character, people are rightly confused.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Your Bad Taste In Music Is Making Music Worse For The Rest Of Us
Why: Because at least Kendrick Lamar is still keeping things real.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Lost Letter Of Jack Kerouac
Why: Because you should probably start saving all the emails that you receive from me for when I become the voice of a generation.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (18 min. read)
What: Scarlett, The Real Sarah Kerrigan
Why: Because StarCraft fans will understand the title of this post before most people do. (See, Sarah Kerrigan, AKA the Queen of Blades, is in control of the Zerg hivemind, thus being analogous to the way in which a StarCraft player, especially one who uses the Zerg as their primary arm… you know what, never mind. Just click the link.)

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: To Smush Or Not To Smush; Fucking Steak
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: You Have A Choice This Week! Shake My Couch, Or Ninja Turtles Stretchkins
Why: Because Brian deserves it. (This is what happens when I get cable TV)

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™