Ah December – when it actually makes sense to have Christmas commercials on TV. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: We Learned Nothing
Why: Because without these incidences actually going to trial, nothing can change.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Hipsters Bartenders Have Finally Ruined Juice
Why: Because a juice store is not an apothecary.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Law Schools And The Parties That Rule Them
Why: Because too many Harvard Law grads have been on the Supreme Court.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Mars, The Next Frontier
Why: Because space exploration is exciting again.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Out Of Power
Why: Because the next battery breakthrough will significantly change the way society works.

JOB THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: A Job To Die For
Why: Because morticians probably have a better understanding of what it means to be alive than any other profession.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Chugging + Running = Rugging?
Why: Because maybe more people would jog if they were met with a beer every quarter mile.

COMEDY(ISH) THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: Chris Rock On The Current State Of America
Why: Because Chris Rock is still one of the smartest and loudest voices in the room.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. watch [x∞])
What: Gagnam Forever
Why: Because people constantly underestimate the number of bits that are needed for counting stupid things.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (lots of min. read)
What: Books You Should Read
Why: Because here is my synopsis of a fake book I should write in order to make this list: An immigrant ostrich farmer from Bulgaria living in SoHo collects Nazi artwork while teaching Cantonese to his deaf son.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (1 min. read)
What: Ralph Baer, RIP
Why: Because without him, there would be no video games as we know them.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Jibbers Crabst; Please Install These In San Francisco; How To Fry Shrimp.
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: GUARDIANS OF THE GALEXY IS OUT ON TUESDAY!
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™