The Big Game supered itself into 50 years with lots of fanfare and a mediocre performance by everyone who should have played better. I’m writing this before I saw who the MVP was, but for the life of me, I cannot even come close to figuring out who earned it. Maybe Ted Ginn Jr., since for once he wasn’t the reason why his team lost this time… In real sports, I’m personally excited to start my 4th season as a coach of my old high school lacrosse team starting tomorrow. As far as I know, kids aren’t being accused of taking GHG to win playoffs. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK
What: A Difference In Debate (GOP; DEM)
Why: Because the difference in candor between the two versions of Presidential debates (as far as I can tell [NOTE: I am not a trained reporter – I have just been following politics since I was too young to understand why an office BJ was such a big deal, and my bachelor’s degree says I’m a political scientist, so that’s good enough for me]) has been portraying very different versions of what people assume America is. One has a front runner calling for free health care, and the other is calling for  mass deportations. One thinks it can give unlimited Federal aid to college students, and the other thinks that taxes are too high. I guess I don’t get how people who are vying to run a single country are so diametrically opposed to the things that the US should be able to accomplish based on its size, wealth, and belief in our own greatness, but I guess that just makes me a bad political scientist. Oh well.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. watch)
What: Commercialism
Why: Because one of the best things about the Great Pot is the stupid amount of money companies are willing to spend on showing us what to buy. What’s strange about this year is that most of these have already been leaked or been playing before YouTube videos for the last week or two. Yahoo also definitely got the rating on that monkey puppy baby one completely wrong though. That was awful. Burn that thing with fire.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: The Past Of Telco
Why: Because this also neatly coincides with the year that I get out of the telco world.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: The Future Of Energy
Why: Because this also neatly coincides with the year I get back into the energy world.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: STUPOR BULL!
Why: Because the actual name of the game is stupidly trademarked or something. <See Above>

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (30 sec. watch)
What: Bourne’s Back
Why: Because this was the least expected movies I ever expected to see again.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. watch)
What: Gaga Slayed
Why: Because this is legitimately one of the best renditions of the National Anthem I have ever heard.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Writing For Movies
Why: Because Stephen King probably knows more about how author’s Hollywood deals than anyone else.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Line Puzzles Squared
Why: Because The Witness is one of those games that transcend the medium, but couldn’t exist in another (according to me). However, if you don’t like solving puzzles, it probably is one of the most boring games ever (according to Meagan).

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: SNL’s Actual Pun Beat Me To It; Politics Are Insulting; Real Talk
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Super Bowl 51 Tickets
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™