Greetings Webtaculators! Hope everyone remembered to change their clocks. At this point, change it however you feel like. I won’t blame you. Not knowing how to do things seems to be acceptable now. As if I needed another reminder of how not doing your job is ok, I just saw this shitty commercial for the upteenth time. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Corrupt President Impeached!
Why: Because in South Korea, being a political liability with dubious ties to shady businesses will lead to a new election. Here, it just leads to further denials of knowing anything. Good Job America!

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Bye Bye Federal Government
Why: Because I guess the most recent unemployment numbers were too good, even if Trump is certain that all the ones before this one are phony. Might as well slash the numbers of largest American employer to make up for it. Or just fuck up our healthcare system. Why not both?

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: You’re Fired Because Reasons
Why: The DOJ under Sessions is looking to be off to a great start. Who needs justice, anyway? At least if you want to go to Harvard Law now, you don’t have to take the LSATs.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: No Climate Change To See Here Folks
Why: Because everything is fine.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Best Comeback Ever
Why: Because you’re not supposed to be able to score 6 goals in soccer, let alone when you need 6 goals to move on in a tournament that is based on the cumulative score of 2 games.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Goodbye Logan
Why: Because this is the best X-Men movie yet.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Someone Please Explain Ed Sheeran To Me
Why: Because his music is… fine. I guess.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. look)
What: Science Is Pretty
Why: Because these photographs are basically art.

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (20 min. read)
What: A History Of Bourdain
Why: Because leave it to a middling cook to become one of the foremost proponents of understanding people through what they eat.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Switch It Up
Why: Because it’s basically a Zelda machine until anything else comes out.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Make It Your Fucking Self; Beer For Dogs; All News Should Be Delivered Like This
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: This Boat
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™