Greetings Webtaculators! As a 30-something-year-old, Mother’s Day has started to take on a much different meaning than when I was young: instead of begrudgingly getting up early to “help” make a mediocre breakfast in bed for my own mom, I now get to celebrate many of my friends who have become parents themselves, remember and commemorate those mothers that are no longer with us, and, most importantly, truly appreciate my mom for all that she did to help shape me into the person I have become. Happy Mother’s day, everyone. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Comey Fired
Why: Because Trump has no idea what he’s doing, and in turn, is actively hurting America. A quick timeline – Comey releases information on Clinton emails, potentially affecting the outcome of the election; FBI investigates Russian involvement in the election; Comey fired (see above); letter and reason delivered; attached letter from Deputy AG Rosenstein doesn’t give clear reason; Spicer reiterates unclear reason from bushes; Trump changes reason (WATCH THIS ONE IF YOU CLICK ON ANY OF THEM – The amount of lies and nonsense that come out of Trump’s mouth in 13 minutes is insane); Sanders re-clarifies reason; Trump tweets; and truth, fact, and democracy go to die alone in the woods.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (20 min. read)
What: “Prime The Pump” – DJT*
Why: Because Trump did not invent the term *”prime the pump.” Remember when there was an uproar about Al Gore and the Internet? This is like that, but actually something he said, and actually a lie. However, there will be no impact since this will immediately be forgotten – Trump will inevitably claim something even crazier in a few days. Oh, Trump also proves that has no idea how economics works.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: MAPA: Make Americans Prisoners Again
Why: Because Jeff Sessions thinks the debunked policy of harsh mandatory minimum sentencing for drug cases will somehow work this time. To understand how wrong he is, here is the right wing Heritage Foundation writing in support of amending minimum sentencing, noting “the most pressing problem[] with mandatory minimums[ …is] severe sentences for relatively minor drug possession crimes.”

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Ransom
Why: Because a NSA created backdoor into computer systems created havoc throughout the world. This is only going to get worse.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: How About Some Footie?
Why: Because Australian Rules Football is an amazing sport.  I know, I know, basketball is happening, but there will be plenty more of that soon.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Still No Directorial King Arthur
Why: Because besides the Disney version or the Monty Python version, no one, not even Guy Ritchie, can make a good King Arthur movie.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Returning To The Drive In
Why: Because At The Drive In was once one of the most exciting sounds in rock. It’s too bad that it no longer is.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Past And The Future
Why: Because a group of white people with torches never was a good thing, and never will be.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: On Craft
Why: Because writers of color don’t often get to discuss how to write. Maybe if they did, it might put an end to books like this becoming best sellers. The only reason I know that The Last Patriot exists is because I was blatantly reading it over the shoulder of the person sitting next to me on a recent flight. If you’re going to read garbage like this in public, I am perfectly OK with making you feel uncomfortable about your terrible choice in literature.

BEER THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: The Value Of Beer
Why: Because depending on your definition of “value,” selling a labor of love to a conglomerate may be a good thing. My friends at the Rare Barrel believe differently.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. watch)
What: The Modern Game You Remember From The 90s
Why: Because Strafe completely understands how video games used to be marketed, but also understand that not everything about those times were awesome, which is.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Congratulations, Graduates!; Customs; Spicy Science; Spicy Spicer
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Honorary Doctorate
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™