Webtacular World Issue # 205, November 5, 2017

Greetings Webtaculators. Somehow things just keep getting more awful. I’m sorry that the world isn’t full of puppies and rainbows, or puppy rainbows, because that is infinitely better than the reality we have to face on a daily basis. This week, we learned you can only politicizes certain kinds of violence, but not others (violence against politicians remains a currently unknown, but we will probably find out more soon), the Trump Train continues to lose its engineers, our brightest stars are lecherous pedophiles, and terrible pizza gets political in the stupidest kind of way. At least the Dodgers lost the World Series. Also, remember to set your clocks back. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Mass Killings
Why: This week, many people were killed in different ways in the United States. Eight people were killed by troubled man who decided to mow down people with a truck on HalloweenToday, almost 50 people were shot by a troubled man while attending church servicesFinally, three people were shot to death in a Walmart by a troubled man in Denver – I almost forgot about that one.
In terms of responses, our President offered furious vengeance against immigrants for the first one – never mind that Uzbekistan is not in the Middle East, nor is part of the current list of banned countries. For the second, I cannot tell if people are being ironic when they are offering “thoughts and prayers” to people who were killed in the middle of praying, but if it didn’t work in the middle of their massacre, it sure as hell wont do any good after. And the third, like I said, I already forgot that one happened. It really is hard to keep track of them all – and when you’re comparing 3 to 50, it just isn’t memorable.
I am sad. I am furious. I am exhausted. It goes without saying that this should not happen, and yet it continues. Each one of these acts of heinous violence against people commuting from work, worshiping, and shopping was caused by a “troubled man.” The running theme seems to be that when men fail, they are so afraid to face their own shortcomings that they take their cowardice and weaponize it to destroy others. Like every previous time this has happened, the only answers I have are not politically feasible. So I will continue to sit here, sad; furious; exhausted.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: The World’s Wealth
Why: Because a clearer picture of the corruption of wealth has never been produced. There is no greater example of this corruption then when a Queen, whose position is fully funded by the tax paying populous, then avoids paying taxes on that wealth by setting up accounts in a tax shelter. Funny, because the way our government is talking, it seems as though these poor wealthy folk have too many taxes!

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Russian Ties
Why: Because Mueller officially charged Manafort, Gates, and Papadopoulos (that’s a fun name to say out loud) in the actions regarding Russian influence on the election.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: The X Factor
Why: Because two technology companies came out with new “x”es – Apple with the iPhone X, and Microsoft with the Xbox One X. The second one needs a few more “x”es, I think.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Astros Win
Why: Because as a Giants fan, this made me happy.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Falling Stars
Why: Because Kevin Spacey is a serial abuser. He will be far from the only person who will no longer have a job after this is all said and done.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Somber Musings
Why: Because sometimes sad pop gospel is the right sound for the mood you’re in.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: The Overwrought Problems Of Rich People
Why: Because Salman Rushdie’s latest is escapism for people who like flowery language and happen to inherit Manhattan brownstones.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: A Return To Beginnings
Why: Because Call of Duty went back to World War II in the latest iteration of war games.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What:  Car Climb; Poop Face; Haka
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A Cayman Bank Account
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

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