Martin Luther King Jr. would be openly weeping at the fact that Trump is president this week. On to the news.
WORD OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
Why: Because Trump is a continuous disgrace. Also, it is very much the United State’s and other Western “paradises” fault that countries like Haiti are “shitholes”. I cannot believe there are still three years left of Trump.
STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: False Alarm
Why: Because it is absolutely wonderful to know that our collective alert system for missile attacks is basically useless. This would normally be fine except for the fact that nuclear missiles are actually a threat again.
ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Tax Cuts Will Not Help The Lowest Classes
Why: Because Walmart is closing 10% of its Sam’s Clubs, while spending 3% of its annual profits on a one time bonus for hourly workers. Amazon is also is basically stealing from us to give us good deals.
LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Fight For DACA
Why: Because while applications still exist, the government might shut down because the great “deal maker” has no idea how to actually make deals.
SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Facebook For Friends
Why: Because apparently people like Facebook when it actually lets you know about your friends, instead of seeing some random racist comment on a fake news site feed. Weird.
SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: So This Is Why People Watch Football
Why: Because I’m still more excited for the real Winter Games, and our flying tomato-y friend.
MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
Why: Because it is a fun, weird, and entertaining movie that deserves its success.
PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (1 min. read)
What: Actual Shithole
Why: Because art.
LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Shithole Books
Why: Because each of these authors embody the actual kind of people that immigrate to America.
VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Flawed Horror
Why: Because I’m not a huge horror fan, but not many games come out that feel like Resident Evil 4.
INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Doppelgangart; Sexual Assault Cinnamon Rolls; I Heard Some Of You Like Harry Potter
Why: Because Internet.
THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Bomb Shelter
Why: Because Brian deserves it.
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™