Webtacular World Issue # 287, June 2, 2019

Greetings Webtaculators. Everything Is Fine. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Mueller Says The Same Thing, On Television
Why: Because America is full of idiots who do not believe something happened unless it is told to them by a person on television. It does not help that Mueller uses big words and language that requires inference and basic logic to determine its meaning (“[i]f we had had confidence that the president clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so,”) so it is unlikely that his repeating his findings will change anyone’s mind at this point.

INTERNATIONAL STORY OF THE WEEK (7 min. read)
What: Back To The Drawing Board
Why: Because Netanyahu failed to form a new government after his recent election.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: How Not To Advertise
Why: Because North Face, a company that usually does good, decided the best way to advertise its message was by taking advantage of a non-profit. Not a great look.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: The Quacking Waddling Thing With Wings Does Turn Out In Fact To Be A Duck
Why: Because it turns out that the change to the 2020 census regarding the addition of citizenship status was included specifically to deter immigrants from being counted in the US census in order to help Republicans.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (long reads)
What: Liverpool Does It
Why: Because Liverpool F.C. won the Champions League for the first time in 14 years.  Speaking of international football, let’s just say there are some problems with the amount of money in the league.  If you think this only applies to European sports, you might want to take a look at the meltdown that the Lakers had in its front offices.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Maybe Rom Coms Aren’t Terrible?
Why: Because Always Be My Maybe is legitimately funny and sweet, and has one of the best uses of a celebrity cameo I have seen in a very long time.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Good Good Omens
Why: Because Good Omens, based on the Neil Gaiman / Terry Pratchett novel of the same name, is a very enjoyable 6 episode palate cleanser from GoT.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: byeTunes
Why: Because assuming reports are correct, iTunes is no longer the one stop location for all of your Apple apps, music, and movies.

ART THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Maybe Not The World’s Most Expensive Painting
Why: Because it is entirely possible that Salvator Mundi was not actually painted by da Vinci.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: What Libraries Are Good For
Why: Because libraries still have the ability to organize information better than the Internet can.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. watch)
What: Fewer Walls More Bridges
Why: Because Hideo Kojima, one of video game’s most well known auteurs, released an 8 minute trailer for his new game, Death Stranding.   If you’re wondering why a video game needs an 8 minute trailer, lets just say it covers babies with psychic powers, ghost demons, WW1, Guillermo Del Toro, a character named Die Hardman, and fire demon terminators.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: If This Is Real, Humans Deserve Nothing; “I Had Nothing To Do With Russia Helping Me To Get Elected”;
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Ferrari SF90 Stradale (It’s Ok, It’s A Hybrid)
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

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