Webtacular World Issue # 290, June 23, 2019

Greetings Webtaculators! Remember, the next time I say I’m going to do something and then change my mind at the last minute, it’s not because I’m indecisive or an asshole, it’s because I’m practicing “shrewd brinkmanship.” On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK ()
What: It’s War Time, Baby! Or Is It?
Why: Because Trump almost sent us to war, although once again, he demonstrated he is entirely unclear if he understands what his job actually is.

But let’s get to the real issue here. On June 21, Trump tweeted the following in regards to him recalling an airstrike in progress against Iranian targets:

“We were cocked & loaded to retaliate last night on 3 different sights when I asked, how many will die. 150 people, sir, was the answer from a General. 10 minutes before the strike I stopped it, not … proportionate to shooting down an unmanned drone,”

My biggest concern about this tweet is his misspelling of the word “site” with the word “sight.’

Let me explain. I can understand Trump not realizing that bombing something might kill a lot of people, because who normally thinks about something like that? The way our government and media talk about air strikes makes it seem like the only thing that happens is that a bunch of buildings go down in a puff of smoke – so not having an understanding that a very real outcome of an air strike is a massive loss of life is at least somewhat defensible.  And, (unlike many of his decisions) in the scheme of things, choosing NOT to kill people is ultimately the correct choice, even if it took him a second to put two and two together.

With the mix-up of “sight” vs. “site,” though, I take true umbrage. How the hell does he not know the difference between the two words?  Unlike foreign policy or war, the word “site” should be something he is intimately familiar with.  Trump has worked in and around construction for his entire adult life, and presumably is something that he at least knows something about. The word “site” is to the construction business as the words “buy” is to a stock trader, “cell” is to a biologist, or “eye” is to an optometrist. Most professionals who do not know the correct version an homophonic word that is inherently tied to their business are not very good at their job, if they are even allowed to practice their profession in the first place.  Just saying.

Also, the phrase is “locked and loaded,” not “cocked and loaded,” but now we all know what porno was watching recently. So thanks for that.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (1 min. 30 sec. watch)
What: The Facebank
Why: Because Facebook is hopping on the crypto train with Libra – the difference being that Facebook already has one billion customers.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Clarence Thomas Hates Black People
Why: Because he wrote one of the most astonishing dissents in support of the a clearly racist reasoning to remove jurors from a jury.

JUNETEENTH THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. watch)
What: The Case For Reparations
Why: Because many of the people who read this are not sold on the idea of reparations for African Americans who have inherited their disadvantage in modern society directly from American slavery – so let someone who is way more persuasive and knowledgeable on this matter than I will ever be.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: VAR – HUH! What Is It Good For?
Why: Because the Virtual Assistant Referee has already caused issues in the Women’s World Cup.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Disney Cannot Lose
Why: Because the studio has the four top grossing movies this year so far.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (longer read than you would think)
What: I Bought An Electronic Drum Set
Why: Because I can now be a rock god without bothering my wife or pets.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: The Secret Commonwealth
Why: Because Philip Pullman’s second book in the Book Of Dust trilogy is out soon.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: A Stabby Dance
Why: Because Cadence of Hyrule is one of those fever dream games that somehow actually exists.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Trump Free Knitting; Mario Royale; Truckla
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A Truckla
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

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