Greetings Webtaculators! Here’s an idea – instead of committing treason against the United States, Donald Trump should follow my lead and spend his weekends going to weddings and concerts. It’s pretty hard to destroy democracy when you’re getting down to Shut Up And Dance. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: It’s Impeachment, Then
Why: Because Trump admitted he threatened to withhold US funds to a foreign country in a quid pro quo agreement to undermine the United States’ electoral process. Or, as Politico puts it,

“It involved misusing $250 million in aid appropriated by Congress for [Trump’s] benefit—the kind of gross misconduct that easily clears the bar of high crimes and misdemeanors set by the Constitution when impeaching a president. Which means the best way to hold Trump accountable for that misconduct isn’t a criminal trial; it’s for Congress to impeach him.”

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (long look / read)
What: Climate Strike
Why: Because young people are taking it upon themselves to fix what we’ve broken.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Disbar This Man
Why: Because it’s entirely clear that Giuliani has no idea what “completely legal” means.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: 11%
Why: Because that’s the apparent amount of funding that would need to be taken away from the US military and transferred to renewable energy to completely fund wind and solar energy to all American households for a year. Maybe we need to rethink our priorities.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Croquet Kings
Why: Because professional football is continuing to kill itself, so let’s learn about sports that don’t require attempted murder as part of their daily routines.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: So Many Ferns, So Little Time
Why: Because someone decided the world needed a Between Two Ferns movie.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK ()
What: Emmys!
Why: Because the greatest success of the Emmys this year was its nomination of actually good shows for its best comedy and drama. Also, please go watch Fleabag – it’s only two seasons, and really is one of the best shows I have ever seen.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: It’s Brittany, Bitch
Why: Because Brittany Howard has one of the most powerful voices in rock as part of the Alabama Shakes, so she went off and made her own album with her own sound to prove she doesn’t need a band, or a defined genre, to be ridiculously good.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Aminals!
Why: Because photographs of animals being derps is really the only redeeming thing about the internet.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Lists! We Got Lists! Get Your Lists Here!
Why: Because The Guardian lopped off 80 years of future writing to make the internet mad at it’s best 100 books of this century; and New Yorker released the actually short-ish 2019 National Book Awards Longlist for fiction.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Damn Birds
Why: Because Zelda: Link’s Awakening and Untitled Goose Game, two games featuring asshole birds, are out this week. Also to note, mobile gaming just got a huge upgrade thanks to Apple directly messing with the usual business model.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: No Longer Between Two Ferns; Take A Walk On The Far Side; The Attack On Area 51
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: More Wedding / Concert Combos.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™