Webtacular World Issue # 355, January 31, 2021

Greetings Webtaculators! Apparently, I have access to a space laser that I helped a company I regulate set fire to the state I live in. How are people this dumb and cruel in Congress? On to the news

STORY OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Meet The New Team
Why: Because there are a bunch of familiar names with decades of experience heading Biden’s cabinet. It’s nice to have the U.S. Executive Branch back in the hands of qualified professionals.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: GameStop Is Breaking The Stock Market
Why: Because hopefully you took my suggestion last week – and hopefully don’t stay in too long unless you’re doing it solely for the LOLZ.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Giuliani Gets Sued By Everyone
Why: Because it’s really hard to lose a defamation suit, but Giuliani is dumb enough to do it. Also, Trump no longer has any representation for his defense at his impeachment trial, because all of his lawyers quit.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Union-bet
Why: Because after the story broke that Google’s employees launched an international union, this follow up piece appeared that potentially hamper US employees’ efforts to have representation.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. watch)
What: How?
Why: Because Danny MacAskill continues to do things on a bike that I just do not understand.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Dance In The Sun
Why: Because the Sundance Film Festival moved online – here are some things worth watching.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read / listen)
What: RIP SOPHIE
Why: Because I was mostly unfamiliar with SOPHIE’s work before hearing about their passing – however, it is clear that SOPHIE was incredibly influential in their short life. Think a futuristic, clubby, queer version of Passion Pit if Passion Pit kept making music like Sleepyhead.
Also, Weezer somehow released yet another album, but not the one people were expecting. (For those of you counting [because who ISN’T?], this is their 6th album since 2014, with another already completed, but delayed due to COVID. For comparison, Weezer released seven albums from 1994 – 2009.)

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (short look)
What: Normal Spouses
Why: Because I’m not sure I ever saw the last first couple show each other any real public or private affection.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (quick buy)
What: That’s A Long Dog
Why: Because my friend Avery who’s work has appeared in this blog regularly due to a seemingly unlimited well of creativity wrote a new children’s book about, well, a long dog.

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (15 min prep – 6-8 hour cook)
What: Glo-BOWL-ization
Why: Because if you throw oil, diced onion, garlic, mushrooms, and tomato paste in in a pan on medium heat for a few minutes, stir in a dash of salt, pepper, and essentially whatever spices you have in pantry (I used, in no particular order: cumin, ginger, curry powder, Mexican chili powder, herbs de Provence, poultry seasoning, mustard, hot Hungarian paprika, Italian seasoning, and turmeric [YOU DO YOU]), and then throw that mess and some type of stock (I used chicken), some sort of cream (I used Greek yoghurt and half and half), choice of meat (again, I used chicken), some sort of acid (I used lime juice) and some mushrooms into a crock pot for 6-8 hours, you will get something absolutely delicious. CRAZY. If you want to be “healthy,” throw in some extra veg (I used bell peppers and kale) an hour before time is up so you don’t overcook it. Serve over rice, in a bowl, so the name makes sense. I didn’t include measurements because I didn’t use any – I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to mess this up. Go nuts. Of course, if you do happen to make something awful, please let me know. (Other people’s) cooking disasters are one of  my favorite things to hear about.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: How Not To Talk About Video Games
Why: Because the NY Times hosted an Op-ed that completely misidentified just how fucked up a year this has been, and how video games are one of the few ways kids (and adults!) have gotten to stay in touch with their friends. You can worry about too much screen time once people stop getting killed by COVID.
Also, the new Hitman is very good.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: It’s Jurassic Park But Pee-Wee Instead Of Dinos; STONKS!; Maybe Internet Food Delivery Companies Don’t Need So Much Money After All
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A Time Machine So I Can Invest My Life’s Savings Into A Dying Video Game Store This Past Summer.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

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