Greetings Webtaculators. Apparently Americans just like killing each other too much to stop. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: The Same Thing Keeps Happening
Why: Because it was another week, so there was another mass murder. Want to know some “wacky” gun facts? The weapon used to kill 10 people waiting in line for a vaccine so they wouldn’t die of COVID was this – a Ruger AR-556 pistol. Now, ignore for a second that “AR” stands for ArmaLite Rifle and the 556 designates e a 5.56x45mm NATO cartilage designed to be fired by rifles, or that anything that looks like this should rationally be called as a “rifle.” It is categorically a pistol – due to its barrel length being under 16 inches, and its “totally not a stock” brace that is in no way designed to be fired from a shooter’s shoulder. Great job everyone.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Boaty McStuckface
Why: Because a giant container ship went perpendicular in the Suez Canal, blocking one of the highest trafficked and important shipping routes for days. Between this and the continuing meme stock debacle, this year is really trying to push the “but business IS quirky!” take on us. 

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Jim Crow Pt. II
Why: Because Republicans apparently cannot win elections where people are allowed to actually vote.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Relief Finally In View
Why: Because in California at least, vaccines will be available to all adults starting in the middle of next month.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Pac-12 Is Somehow Good At Basketball?
Why: Because March Madness continues to earn its nickname.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: One Half Of Mr. Show Goes A’Killin’
Why: Because Bob Odenkirk, best known for his role as Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad, is actually a hellluva action star, too, apparently.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: RIP Jessica Walters
Why: Because no one else could make not understanding the price of a banana so endearing.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK ()
What: The One Where Lil Nas X Pole Dances Down To Hell
Why: Because Lil Nas X just made one of the biggest gay music anthems ever.

MUSEUM THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: The Louvre Is Live Online
Why: Because one of the most important museums in the world just catalogued a huge portion of its works for free on its website.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: RIP Beverly Cleary
Why: Because the author of numerous children’s’ books that actually focused on the kids themselves passed away after 104(!) years of age.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Does What It Says On The Box
Why: Because Monster Hunter Rise is the latest in a series of games about slaughtering different monsters for their parts to make armor and weapons for the purpose of slaughtering more monsters, but more efficiently. It is excellent.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Big Boat Stuck; 1998 In Three Minutes; 
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK NEXT YEAR
What: Next Year May We Be Together (So Close!)
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™