Greetings Webtaculators! Happy October (somehow)! Sometimes I wonder what I would do with a billion dollars, but then I remember that it takes only a few million dollars to live an extremely affluent existence without ever touching the initial amount. Remember, a billion is an extremely large number. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Cash Rules Everything Around Us
Why: Because the Washington Post got access to a swath of documents that tells us all once again that the rich play by different rules than the rest of us.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Gotta Keep ‘Em Vaccinated
Why: Because California is continuing to do what has been done throughout modernity by requiring students to be vaccinated against many types of illnesses, including COVID. I have talked to people who went through the California public school system who are unhappy with this. The main claims against are that there hasn’t been enough studying done (there has), COVID doesn’t kill enough kids to make them get vaccinated for it (a. yikes! and b. neither does chickenpox, yet there still are required vaccines for that), and that parents should be able to choose for their kids whether or not they can be vaccinated (no, and it’s not like they had the choice before, either). Roughly 3 billion people have gotten the vaccine (remember how big of a number a billion is?). The time for well meaning skepticism has long since passed.Get the vaccine. When it’s available for your children, take them to get it.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: A Whole New Window
Why: Because Windows 11 is here on October 5. Since we’re talking about a Microsoft product, your computer may or may not be ready for it. If you want to find out, go here, scroll to the bottom, and click “download PC health check up app”. Might be a good thing to do anyway, just to learn something! Mac users, as always, feel free to ignore and mock.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: 107 = #1
Why: Because the SF Giants are the NL West Champs! The Giants (once again) beat the Padres to beat the Dodgers in the race the playoffs by a single game in an extremely exciting close to the regular season. Keep the torture coming.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Going Back To Theaters
Why: Because Venom, a mediocre if fun spinoff superhero movie sequel, somehow had the biggest opening weekend since the Pandemic started. Go figure.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Another Moment Of Zen
Why: Because Jon Stewart and his sardonic take on news is back in the form of The Problem With Jon Stewart. It is serious, because it turns out people think that because something is encased in comedy, it isn’t serious. Maybe this time he can kill Tucker Carlson’s career for good.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (11 min. listen)
What: Who Needs Albums When You Have Video Games?
Why: Because a number of artists are increasingly finding out that they can reach more listeners by being featured artists in games.

ART THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Art Is What You Take From It
Why: Because Jens Haaning was supposed to use $84k to recreate an art piece that he had previously made, showing the total annual pay of an Austrian and Danish person, respectively. Instead, he titled the recreation Take The Money And Run, and delivered two blank canvases. Amazing.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Feel Feelings, And Buy A Book!
Why: Because modern book covers don’t really convey much.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: <<Insert Obvious Joke Here>>
Why: Because Amazon released its new MMO (or “Massively Multiplayer Game”), New World, to a global player base ready to spend lots of time holding down “W” to walk forward forever and click on beautiful, digitally crafted rocks and trees to mine resources. It’s ridiculous to me how MMOs absolutely fail at gameplay compared to non-MMO games (basically – reactions are stifled, player actions are limited, story is often non-existent, and the gameplay itself is incredibly rote and repetitive), and yet solely because you can do these things with thousands of other people simultaneously is enough to make it all actually fun.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Medieval Tennis; That’s One Way To Find Yourself; Billionaires In Space
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD NOT GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A Billion Dollars
Why: Because Brian doesn’t deserve it, and neither do the people who currently do.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™