Hope everyone has a great New Year. Also, everything is delicious, except the gefilte fish. That’s definitely an acquired taste. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Umbrella Revolution Might Be Putting Its Umbrellas Away
Why: Because apparently politeness towards antagonizers goes a long way to making a protest successful.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: It’s Way More Likely You’ll Pull Yourself Down By Your Own Bootstraps Than Up. Just Ask For Help.
Why: Because no one has ever actually been “self made,” regardless of how much they think they have been.

ADVERTISING THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. watch)
What: An Advertisement About Nothing
Why: Because Jerry Seinfeld rips the industry a new one.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Hopefully It Will Be Cheaper Than Moving To San Francisco
Why: Because Elon Musk didn’t build a rocket just to get people to space.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. look)
What: Playoff Beards
Why: Because GO GIANTS!

TV THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. watch)
What: Strangest Simpsons Gag Of All Time
Why: Because even though the Simpsons is now whoring itself out to Family Guy, it still has the ability to do interesting things.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Lauren Hill Doesn’t Owe You Anything
Why: Because Talib Kweli raises the bigger issue of what it means to be a fan of anything, especially when that thing does not necessarily meet expectations.

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Octopus Is Delicious
Why: Because smart things can be food too.

FASHION THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Dude Looks Like A Lady
Why: Because the idea of John Hodgman in a dress is hilarious.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. watch)
What: Truth Hurts Sometimes
Why: Because I truthfully cannot stop playing it.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Best Lightbulb Commercial Ever; #1 JAMZ
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Trip To Singapore
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™