Greetings Webtaculators! It’s the Oscars tonight! Time to fret about all the movies you never had time to see, and might not deserve the accolades in the first place. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. vote)
What: The Oscars
Why: Because I doubt you could break into them anymore, but it sure would be great to see you try.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The First Martians
Why: Because we’re going to Mars.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (7 min. read)
What: More Doom for Law Schools
Why: Because out of six law school classmates of mine who went to brunch this morning, only one is currently still practicing. Make of that what you will.

COMEDY THING OF THE WEEK (3 hr. watch)
What: SNL Turns 40
Why: Because somehow the show keeps going, and Norm Macdonald remains one of the more under-appreciated featured players.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Fight Of The Century
Why: Because Floyd and Manny can finally settle the discussion of who is the best.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Forgot About Dre
Why: Because Dr. Dre continues to have an impact on hip-hop fashion years after the days of NWA.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. look)
What: Photoshop Turns 25
Why: Because Adobe has probably done as much to change professional photography as the introduction of color print.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. read)
What: Cheaters In Love
Why: Because Junot Díaz remains one of the most interesting writers of his generation.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Reviewers Are Behaving Like Critics
Why: Because games are finally being rated as whole experiences, instead of being lauded as technological marvels devoid of substance. In other news, Kanye West is making a video game about his mom.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Big Birdman; Uncomfortably Biden; Tomatan; 10 Years Of Youtube
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: An Oscar
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™