Give your President a Valentine! Or something. All the cross advertising is confusing me. Also, congrats to webtaculators Brandon and Jenn on their “Definitely Not A Wedding” Wedding today!!!! Anyway, on to the news.
STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: A Bad Week For News
Why: Because Brian Williams is on a six month leave for “misremembering,” Jon Stewart is leaving the Daily Show, and two prominent reporters, Bob Simon of 60 Minutes and David Carr of the New York Times, passed away.
ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Tax Cheats
Why: Because this is banks at their worst.
LAW THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: The Downfall Of Crime
Why: Because my theory is that people are too busy looking at cat videos on their cell phones to cause trouble. Also, RBG got drunk and fell asleep at the SOTU.
HEALTH THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Beep Boop Beep <Here Are Your Drugs>
Why: Because pretty soon, your doctors will be robots, too. I bet they wont even have the courtesy to lie about how much the shot they’re going to give you will hurt.
SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Apparently The NBA All Stars Competitions Were Exciting
Why: Because I stopped following these after the competition “jumped the shark (car).”
MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: 50 Shades Of Successful Terribleness
Why: Because an objectively bad movie based off of an objectively bad book based off of objectively bad fanfic of another objectively bad book has managed to break the record for movies over this weekend. I have no words, but Dave Barry does.
MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Aural Perfection (And By Perfection I Mean Bullshit)
Why: Because high end audio equipment has its place, and that place is not a Toblerone.
PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. look)
What: More Best Photos of 2014
Why: Because photos can tell amazing stories
LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK ()
*Ed. Note – There will be no LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK because Fifty Shades Of Grey killed literature, and I’m still angry about it.
VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The 90’s Are Dead
Why: Because Sonic was awesome to 8 year old me, but I guess I didn’t know much.
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