Greetings Webtaculators. Well, this week was awful. This was the first time a mass shooting has happened where I didn’t respond with surprise. Just, “oh.” Apparently all of my other exclamations were used up in Paris and Colorado Springs and Roseburg (bet you forgot about that one already) and Charleston and etc.. If 14 people being killed at a holiday work party, only elicits an “oh,” as a response, then something is severely wrong. I can’t tell if the fault lies with me, or if its a a symptom of a a society that won’t perform any sort of inward reflection to figure out why things like this happen, and the possibility that our past and current policies and actions might in any  way contribute to these horrific acts becoming commonplace. So, in order to prove that humanity is still doing OK, I’ll mostly focus on the good things that happened this week, with the big important news mostly as a side note. After all, if Jews are starting to celebrate the rather silly miracle of oil lasting longer than it should have, then humans can celebrate the other small, silly things that happen, too.  On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Fuck Brian
Why: Because fuck that guy.
Sidenote: San Bernardino and Guns.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: GiveItAway,GiveItAway, GiveItAway, GiveItAway Now
Why: Because not all business owners are assholes.
Sidenote: Some are.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. watch)
What: The Importance Of Pro Bono
Why: Because it’s about someone is calling out firms for not providing services to those who can’t afford it.
Sidenote: Jury Duty.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (15 min. explore)
What: Volcano Goes Boom!
Why: Because non-life threatening volcano explosions are awesome, and there is a website called volcanodiscovery.com, and that makes me happy.
Sidenote: Climate change is to Exxon Mobile as Phillip Morris was to smoking.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. watch)
What: Messi Has Always Been Very Good At Soccer
Why: Because the way the kid on the orange team “gave” the ball to the tall dude on the white team to throw in at the 4:40 mark is fierce.
Sidenote: Sepp Blatter.

TV THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: A Very Murray Christmas
Why: Because George Clooney mostly hides behind a tree, and it is glorious.
Sidenote: San Bernardino coverage.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: New Coldplay Isn’t Bad!
Why: Because the Pitchfork review includes the sentence, “And with his many wide-eyed ruminations on stars and moons and hearts and diamonds, it can sound like [Chris Martin] gets his lyrical inspiration from a spoonful of Lucky Charms.” I wish I wrote that.
Sidenote: RIP Scott Weiland. Listen to this.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (long reads)
What: Really Good Longreads
Why: Because reading good articles will fight against bullshit.
Sidenote: Stupid people believe in bullshit.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (30 min. watch)
What: Revisiting Good Old Games
Why: Because playing old games can remind you why they were great in the first place, and give you more appreciation regarding how far the industry has come.
Sidenote: Being resold FFVII for the hundredth time.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Bread Face; Elmo Is The Worst; Best Current Drummers; Best Past Drummers
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A week free from mass murders.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™