Greetings Webtaculators! Well, it looks like last week wasn’t a dream, and Trump remains our President Elect. Although,I’m not entirely sure he actually still exists, since he only seems to appear on Twitter to chastise plays and TV. You know, real presidential things.  Also, because we are now Making America Great Again, I’m going to see just how great America used to be. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Fraud Settled! Sad!
Why: Because I guess it’s settling a fraud case for $25 million that’s presidential. It’s so hard to tell these days.

STORY OF THE WEEK  1995 (2 min. read)
What: Partial Governmental Shutdown
Why: Because Republican’s failed to ratify the national budget

POLITICAL THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Steve Bannon Is Trump’s Chief Strategist
Why: Because a person who positively (even if jokingly) compares himself to Darth Vader and Satan is officially one of Trump’s closest advisers.

POLITICAL THING OF  THE WEEK  1973 (5 min. read)
What: I Am Not A Crook!
Why: Because Nixon gave his most famous speech about how he definitely wasn’t involved with Watergate.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Coal Is Not Coming Back
Why: Because one of the jobs Trump promised to return to glory was coal mining. Oops.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK 1968
What:Massive West Virginia Coal Mine Explosion
Why: Because maybe it’s a good thing that all the coal jobs that blow people up are not coming back

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Korematsu Is Still Precedent 
Why: Because the Supreme Court case that interned hundreds of thousands of Japanese Americans during World War II has never been overturned, and could be used as justification for the creation of a national registration of Muslims.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK 1863 (1 min. read)
What: Lincoln Gives The Gettysburg Address
Why: Because Lincoln’s most famous speech was the first time he publicly stated that the Civil War was to further the United States’ “new birth of freedom.”

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Making Solar Sexy
Why: Because the new solar material might be cheaper than current roofing.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK 1883 (2 min. read)
What: Time Zones Created
Why: Because America used to invent things like time.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Andy Murray Finally #1
Why: Because Andy Murray has always been a very good tennis player, but now he is officially the best.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK 1982 (46 sec. watch)
What: The Play
Why: Because remember when college football used to be played by amateurs?

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Muggles Take Over Manhattan
Why: Because this is the first Harry Potter movie that doesn’t include Harry.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK 2001 (4 min. read)
What: Harry Potter Opens
Why: Because the first movie with Harry Potter opened 15 years ago. Now you feel old.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What:The AMAs Get Political
Why: Because at least Green Day can still claim to be a little punk now.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK 1959 (3 min. read)
What: The Hills Are Alive!
Why: Because of course a musical with Nazis is successful.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: March
Why: Because Congressman John Lewis’ new work could not be more timely.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK 1851 (6 min. read)
What: Moby Dick Released
Why: Because maybe Trump needs to bring back whaling, too.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Hacking SF
Why: Because in Watch Dogs 2, you can take on the man, man.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK 2001 (5 min. read)
What: Halo
Why: Because console shooters were never the same.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Quick Draw; Dave Chappelle Is A Creep; Drake Is Tay Tay
Why: Because Internet (NOTE: There is no historical ITOTW because the Internet is post-history.)

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: New House In The East Bay.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™