Greetings Webtaculators! I don’t know about where you live, but summer already decided to hit Northern California hard. Go have fun at the beach I guess. On to the news.
STORY OF THE WEEK (read)
What: Does Trump Know What Team He’s Playing For?
Why: Because watching Trump try to govern is essentially equivalent to being LeBron while watching J.R. Smith try to finish a basketball game. Like this:
I really have no idea how the North Korea meeting is back on 2 weeks after Trump singlehandedly canceled it last week, or why he decided to impose severe tariffs on America’s allies, but he did. I am going to be especially pissed if Star Wars: Episode 1 ( you know, the terrible one about starting trade wars so that Senator Palpatine, who really was Darth Sidious, a Sith lord… never mind) actually was a warning from George Lucas.
ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Trump Tweets The Numbers
Why: Because see above.
LAW THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Curtilage And Cars
Why: Because curtilage is one of those funny legal words that actually is a key component of privacy. Now your car is included as well.
TECH THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: GDPR And You
Why: Because a European law means that you will start seeing a lot more pop-ups at the bottom of a webpage that actually explains the type of data a website will track about you. Not that you’re going to bother reading that, anyway.
SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. reads)
Why: Because both hockey and basketball are very entertaining right now.
MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Disney Has A Bad Feeling About This
Why: Because Solo fails even harder the second week.
TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (10 min. read)
What: Crash And Barr
Why: Because racism is bad. And before anyone brings up the false equivalency of “but why does Samantha Bee still have a show?” is because calling someone a “feckless cunt” (a hell of an insult, by the way), is not the same thing as typing ““muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj” (vj being Valerie Jarrett, a former adviser to Barack Obama). One of those things is mean, the other is racist. Being mean, especially in the context of explaining the lack of awareness and callousness of Ivanka Trump releasing a photo embracing her son during the same news cycle as it came to light that her father is separating families of people who are caught crossing the boarder, is not inherently wrong. Being racist is, well, being a feckless cunt, and is wrong.
MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Nay for Ye
Why: Because Kanye West should probably understand that saying he contemplated killing someone else and himself does not equal deep thinking. The beats are still sick, I guess.
LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: Summer Reading
Why: Because summer is for books.
VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Leaks Are Coming
Why: Because E3 is just around the corner, and that means we now know (probably) a bunch of the new games that are coming soon.
INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: More Fun Than Kanye; Happier Than Yeezy; Attack Of The J.R. Memes
Why: Because Internet.
THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Ice Cream
Why: Because Brian deserves it.
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™