Greetings Webtaculators! Aren’t you glad the Messiah is finally here for the second time? It took long enough. On to the news.
STORY OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Stupid Man Yells On Internet, Tanks World Economy
Why: Because I’m becoming more certain that Trump still doesn’t quite realize that he is president, or what the actual power the presidency has, because no rational actor would behave the way he did this past week. He clearly doesn’t understand that what he says has real consequences, or else he would never open his idiot mouth. Related – stupid man tries to buy country that isn’t for sale.
ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Business No Longer About Business, According To Best Business People
Why: Because one of the key tenets of corporations for the last 70 or so years, that corporations only responsibility is to their shareholders, is apparently not true any more, at least as far as a number of prominent CEOs are concerned. Whether or not this actually changes anything remains to be seen, but it at least sounds OK on paper. Thanks, for nothing, Milton. Also important, David Koch, one of the the worst Americans in recent memory, just passed away.
LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Space Crime
Why: Because an astronaut has been accused of committing banking fraud from the International Space Station. Way less interesting than space murder or space hijacking, but we’ll take what we can get.
SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Earth’s Lungs Are On Fire
Why: Because this is one of the likely outcomes when you elect people who don’t believe in climate change into power.
SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Running Out Of Luck
Why: Because Andrew Luck should have been one of football’s historical greats. Instead, the sport destroyed him.
JOURNALISM THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: The Future Of News Is Doomed
Why: Because people who don’t understand that news is about more than clicks (see CEO statement, above) mean that the public does not receive the news it should. Gizmodo Media Group, which consists of the sister sites from ashes of Gawker, consistently has some of the best writing on the internet. Turning it into a click-bait site will drive it into the ground.
MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Too Big To Sling
Why: Because Spider Man is out of the Avengers thanks to Sony and Disney not being able to agree on how to split billions of dollars in foreseeable profits. Also, there’s going to be a new Matrix, but the payphone travel method clearly needs to be updated.
TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (1 min. 30 sec. watch)
What: The Mandalorian
Why: Because this is one of the many reasons most people are going to be paying $7 a month for Disney+ when it arrives in November.
MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: T-Swift Is Finally Growing Up
Why: Because her newest album actually talks about adult things like women empowerment and supporting LGBTQ people.
PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. look)
What: The World Is On Fire
Why: Because it’s not only the Amazon.
LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Some Short Things To Read
Why: Because I really have fallen off the reading wagon, but maybe some of these will help make sure you stay on.
VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Like Dark Souls, But With Guns
Why: Because many other games try to be like FromSoftware’s genre creating title, but Remnant: From the Ashes (what an awful name) actually pulls it off.
INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Chicken Sandwiches Fight For Your Soul; There Are Too Many “National” Days; Crab Rangoon Is Neither Crab Nor From Rangoon.
Why: Because Internet.
THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A Fleet Of Yachts
Why: Because Brian deserves it.
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™