Webtacular World Issue # 328, April 5, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! I wasn’t going to do a Webtacular today, because the way I figure, you all are either following as much news as possible because you want to stay up to date on the latest thing that’s happening regarding Covid-19, or you’re purposefully ignoring it because things have only gotten worse since last week – either way, my usual service of “you not having time to read the internet” is completely out the window. However, because I married someone who has better ideas than I do, she suggested I share of list of a collection of things that I have found to help cope with all of this. So here it is. On to … whatever this is.

Movies To Watch Of The Quarantine:
Disney+
Why: Because between the entire Marvel catalog, the classics, (Cinderella, Snow White, Pinocchio, etc.) the meddling but still endearing adventures like Robin Hood and Sword And The Stone, the 90’s Disney animation revival (The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin, etc.), Pixar, and all of Star Wars, you cannot go wrong. If there is one subscription service that you should have during this time, Disney+ is it. Disney thrives on nostalgia, and now is the perfect time to relive happier moments.

Shows To Watch Of The Quarantine:
Ozark
Why: Because worrying about small time money laundering somehow is comforting.
Westworld
Why: Because worrying about robots taking over the world somehow is comforting.
Little Fires Everywhere
Why: Because watching Reese Witherspoon impeccably play yet another rich white “Karen” is somehow comforting.
Tiger King
Why: Because knowing that there are people out there who are more batshit crazy than the current reality is somehow comforting.
All The Prestige TV You Somehow Forgot To Watch
Why: Because whether it’s The Wire or Breaking Bad or The Sopranos or The West Wing or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, you finally have time to watch it all.

Music To Listen To Of The Quarantine:
Whatever Makes You Feel Good
Why: Because these are difficult times. Music is very much subjective, whether due to culture, generation, upbringing, influences, instruments, or any number of reasons. Now is the time to indulge in whatever makes you feel good. For me, that’s a bunch of 90’s alternative / hip-hop and their current iterations, like the new Pearl Jam and Nine Inch Nails. Also, if you play an instrument or sing, now is the perfect time to devote a few hours to learning a song you always wanted to. I’ve personally been working on learning all the parts of Smashing Pumpkin’s 1979. Who knows, maybe by the end of this I’ll record everything. With tools like Apple’s GarageBand or free guitar effect plugins like amplitube, you really can be a one stop recording studio with just yourself.

Food To Eat Of The Quarantine:
HOLY SHIT COOK EVERYTHING
Why: Because this is the first time in forever where most of us legitimately do not have the excuse to not make as much delicious food as we can. This is an insanely weird crisis because the worst of the problems for many of us have not hit yet. There is still food on the shelves, electricity and gas is still available and affordable, and there is $1000 with our names on it that is going to be delivered any day now.
The problem with cooking during normal times is time itself – we are busy with jobs, with friends, with family, that always require us to be somewhere else. The real secret to cooking good food is just having enough time to be around to prepare or check on something. Most times when I get home from work, I just don’t have the energy to think about spending an extra 45 minutes chopping stupid vegetables and prepping a marinade to make a “quick” stir fry. I just drove in traffic for 2 hours, the dog still needs to be walked, and if I try slicing something now it’s just as likely to be my fingers as the thing I’m actually trying to cut. Since I now work a grand 30 steps from my kitchen, all this prep work is nothing. The best of these things that take time more than effort are soups and sauces. Soup – take all the shit you have lying around, throw it in water, cover, and let sit for a few hours.  Sauce – the same, but use less water, and boil that shit down.
Here is a list of things that you should cook since you are home:
Braised Short Ribs
French Onion Soup
Bolognese Sauce
Buttermilk Pancakes
Ratatouille
Latkes
Chicken Fajitas
Tacos Al Pastor
Chimichurri
Butter Chicken
Egg Drop Soup
Go fucking nuts with these – once you have an idea of how something should taste, you can stop following the recipes and start making them your own – not enough spice? Throw those chilies in there. Think it could use more orange zest? Go crazy. Needs more wine? OF COURSE IT DOES. Just because it sucks being stuck at home doesn’t mean your taste-buds have to be sad too.
I’ve also seen lots of people doing the same thing with baking, making delicious looking breads, cakes, cookies, tarts, what have you. Since I am no scientist and like flying by the seat of my pants, I’m going to stick with cooking. You do you, though. Have fun. Be full.

Games To Play Of The Quarantine:
Pandemic Games:
Resident Evil 3
Plague, Inc.
The Last Of Us
A Plague Tale: Innocence
Dishonored
Why: Because most of these games are on the “power fantasy” side of outbreaks where you as an individual can do something to effect change on the world around you. Plus, most of these involve zombies, and killing zombies is always cathartic for some reason.
Non-Pandemic Games:
Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Witcher 3
Divinity: Original Sin 2
World Of Warcraft
Stardew Valley
Super Mario World
Why: Because there is finally time again to dive back into MMOs, beat those super convoluted RPGs, relax and build a town, or jump on a goomba’s head for the trillionth time, just to feel OK.

OK. That’s enough for now. Go try to enjoy yourself as much as you can for the next few weeks while we all get through this together.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

 

 

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