Greetings Webtaculators! I have officially been sheltering in place for 32 days. That may or may not be the reason why I didn’t get this out yesterday. Sorry for the delay. On to the news, but only the good stuff (I don’t want to make you all sad on a Tuesday. It’s not fair.)

STORY COMPLETED PROJECT OF THE WEEK (quick read)
What: Setting Up The Bedroom
Why: Because on this 32nd day of shelter in place, and 662nd day of living in this house, I finally finished one of the biggest to-do’s on my list. It’s nice not having boxes on the floor that you stub your toe on, let me tell you.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Stocks Were Doing OK!
Why: Because if you happen to be someone who’s still invested in the market, it did OK last week!

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Liberal Justice In Wisconsin!
Why: Because after the clusterfuck of holding an in person election during a pandemic, this is at least a reasonable outcome! Hooray!

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Only Reasonable Man In The Room
Why: Because Dr. Fauci is trying his best to keep American’s safe!

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: NASCAR Virtual Races
Why: Because NASCAR is one sport where great simulations exist, so drivers can compete in real time just like the real thing! The only thing missing is the roar of the engines and casual racism! Oh no! Looks like they still have that in spades! It’s supposed to be RACING, not RACIST, you idiots!

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Dune!
Why: Because Paul Atreides is going to walk without rhythm, so he won’t attract the worm!

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Meet Quibi
Why: Because more TV, but for your phone!

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Weird Al Is A National Treasure
Why: Because this in depth look at the best parody artist in the last four decades will just make you feel good!

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. look)
What: Animals Are Enjoying Our Absence
Why: Because without all the ruckus we usually create, animals seem to be having a good time!

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Virtual Poetry
Why: Because it’s National Poetry Month, and poetry is good!

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Final Fantasy Seven, Again
Why: Because a cultural touchstone for videogames in the US was remade in the version the original always seemed like it was. The wide variety of remakes of original games is a widespread phenomenon in the last few years, but for a reason – video games, more so than movies and TV, are a specifically technology driven media, and the technology finally exists to where all of the ideas that were released in a specific visual format.can finally be realized as the artists originally wanted. For example, here’s the same boss fight from the 1997 vs. the 2020 version. YAY CHUNKY POLYGONS!

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Some Good News!; Cute Fucking House!; Music For Hope!; ZOOM!; Stay The Fuck At Home! 
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: LEGO SUPER MARIO!
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™