Webtacular World Issue # 346, November 22, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! Sitting at home through the dumbest coup attempt ever is enthralling, isn’t it? Really normal democracy stuff. Also, COVID is definitely still very much here, no one is staying home for Thanksgiving because people think they are invincible, or their right to put other people in danger is more important than deciding not eating turkey with their uncle that they hate anyway. On top of that, there’s all the regular nonsense that we are forced to put up with as part of attempting to be a fully functioning adult, which even without those other things provides enough residual crisis to make anyone reach their breaking point.

Finally, because I apparently can’t count right, Webtacular is actually on issue number 346, which completely ruins my perfect segue from last time. Oh well. We good? Good. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Trump Lost
Why: Because I just want to make sure everyone who reads this understands that there is no rational, legal way that Trump stays president. It’s not a “lame stream” media thing, it’s not a conspiracy against him, it’s not a lie. He lost. I did say I’d talk about him way less last time, but he just will not go away.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: Black Friday!
Why: Because who doesn’t want to pretend that everything is fine? If you’re extra concerned you don’t have enough money, just buy it on credit – there’s a non-zero chance that there won’t be anyone able to collect on it.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: A Complete Mockery
Why: Because I am INCENSED that these yahoos are allowed to practice law. There is no such thing as “normal scrutiny,” you drippy cousin fucker.

HEALTH THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. look)
What: COVID Is Still Surging
Why: Because we’re up over a million cases a week, with projections potentially climbing above three million. It’s going to get way worse before it gets better. Yes, there are extremely likely viable vaccines that will be available at some point, but that is far in the future, especially for you. Also, considering the growth of the number of anti-vaxxers in the US and around the world, do you really think COVID is going anywhere?

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Aricibo Is No More
Why: Because the a few of the cables holding up the most recognizable telescope decided to pull a 006 and crashed through dish, rendering it unrepairable. For England, James.

JOURNALISM THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Hey, Webtacular’s Ahead Of The Curve Again!
Why: Because a number of prominent journalists who were… “silenced” by their editors (HAHAHAHAHA) decided to go freelance. BURN THE EDITORS DOWN! MY WORDS ARE MY FREEDOM – FACTS AND TONE BE DAMNED. Who needs truth when you have CONVICTION on your side??? Welcome to the club! Join me in shout-writing into the void. It’s fun!

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: CHAMPIONS
Why: Because whatever is happening in real professional sports consists of famous people breaking or people pretending the world is fine. I’ll just go chase some cheese down a hill, thank you very much.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. listen)
What: Phoebe Bridgers And Maggie Rogers Covered Goo Goo Dolls ‘Iris’ To Fulfill A Promise Phoebe Made On Twitter If Trump Lost, To Help Stacy Abrams Get Votes For Democrats In Georgia’s Senate Runoff
Why: Because this may be the most 2020 thing of the year. The song was available online for one day, but you can find it here for now, and likely somewhere else later. Like most songs those two make, it is gorgeous, even if it was made as a joke.

ALSO – it was the American Music Awards, awarding mostly bad acts save for WAP and Taylor Swift, and the only thing worth mentioning about that is that the favorite artist, album and song for Latin music, and ONLY Latin music, was presented by Cheetos, the chip(?) brand. Every other music category did not have a sponsor, snack based or other wise. I have no idea what to make of that.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Shot From Above
Why: Because it’s fun looking down on ourselves sometimes.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read, but please go read the whole thing)
What: A Perfect Recollection Of An Imperfect President
Why: Because hearing Obama read this to me via audiobook at least let me know that the White House was at one point honorable, and has the capacity to be so again.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (long reads)
What: A Refinement
Why: Because I’m pretty sure developers figured out how to make videogames pretty damn well last generation. Between VR, open worlds, and gameplay mechanics that are reliably fun, along with an ever growing interconnection online, gaming really had never been better. The newest consoles now doing the hard work of making them prettier, shinier, and faster. The only real revolution is Sony’s new controller, which you really have to hold to understand. Also, Astro’s Playroom is way too good of a pack-in game.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: A Parody Gone Too Far; Laundry Forever; 2000s Internet Forever
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN EVERYONE OF THE WEEK
What: A Safe And Healthy Thanksgiving
Why: Because Brian everyone deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

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