Webtacular World Issue # 379, August 15, 2021

Greetings Webtaculators. The United States finally lost a “war” that began when I was a Sophomore in high school. This was inevitable. You cannot force Democracy on people who do not necessarily want it (I mean, you can barely hold onto it in a place where people allegedly DO want it [see, e.g., USA]), who are represented by a government that does not even begin to meet the average Afghan’s needs, by an army that does pay it’s soldiers enough to care about a cause that isn’t theirs to begin with. What has been utterly apparent to anyone who paid any attention to Afghanistan’s history over the last hundred or so years is that a) it should not be a single country, and b) there is nothing that would work except for infinite occupation, which neither the US nor the rest of world has the appetite for. Of course we were going to lose a “war” that had no defined winning conditions, against an enemy that we trained ourselves to win a different war, whose people have been fighting invading forces for generations with God’s unending fury on their side. This event is the tragic conclusion to wasted lives, time, and funds that could have been put to infinite other more worthy causes.

Additionally, COVID is back in full force. After a weekend wedding, I was informed that one of the other guests present had tested positive for COVID following the event, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE VACCINATED. On my way home, I began to feel sick as well. As soon as I got home, I self quarantined for four days, until I got my second test results saying that I was negative, and that whatever I had was only a common cold or flu. Being sick with anything during this time is terrifying. I was scared that I had unwittingly exposed my friends I traveled with and immediate family to something that I have been taking extreme caution to avoid. Getting back from a trip only to lock myself in my office without being able to say goodnight to my son in person was devastating. I do not know where we go from here. States are unwilling to lock back down, due to the fact that there are a large enough contingent of Americans who are more than happy to let their fellow countrymen die instead of them wearing a mask, and are even willing to subvert Democracy to make sure they don’t have to. I guess we’re just going to live with COVID forever.

On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Kabul Has Fallen
Why: Because the Taliban have retaken Afghanistan’s capitol 20 years after they originally lost it.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Get It Done
Why: Because Democrats are trying to use what minor majority they have to actually do something useful for US citizens for once.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Cuomo Has Fallen
Why: Because New York Governor Cuomo is resigning following his multiple sexual harassment and assault allegations. 

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Oh Hey, Climate Change Is Worse Than We Thought
Why: Because it is becoming increasingly clear that humanity is at a tipping point across many different fronts all at once.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: The Olympics Closes With A Whimper
Why: Because it didn’t really seem like people were too invested in watching amazing athletes do amazing things. Maybe the Olympics should try their own version of Field of Dreams?

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Ryan Reynolds Cannot Lose
Why: Because somehow he starred in an actually enjoyable “video game” movie, which is essentially a cinematic death sentence.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Summer Of Antonoff
Why: Because many of the top charting recent albums that don’t have rap production behind them were produced by the Bleacher’s lead singer, Jack Antonoff. Since many of the artists he is working with are women, however, he probably is getting more credit than he’s due.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: As It Falls
Why: Because it remains an unbelievable human tragedy that the United States failed at doing anything long-term.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Not Cormac McCarthy
Why: Because last week, Twitter blue-checkmarked a parody account, all hell broke loose, and then the account was banned. Some additional info – I have known Daniel, the person behind the parody account, since 2009, when I became friends with him in law school. It has been hilarious seeing this develop from his perspective, since he really had nothing to do with the fact that people are dumb enough to think that the real Cormac McCarthy, an 88 year old recluse, would have a Twitter account that talked about things like Pokémon. Yes, Daniel really is running for Governor of California, just like he really ran in the 2003 clown show while he was a college student. No, he is not qualified to be the governor, even though he is a smart, decent person – however, due to the potential that less qualified people could be elected instead, I will most likely be voting for him after voting no on the recall in general. If you live in California, I suggest you do something similar.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (13 min. watch)
What: Return Of The Boomer Shooter
Why: Because “Boomer Shooters” are what the cool kids like to call games that play and look like OG First Person Shooters like Doom, Quake, and Unreal. Recently, indie developers have taken the basics and the art styles and have applied modern game development knowledge to them, creating some really neat, cheap, and fun games. Some good recent ones are Dread Templar, ULTRAKILL, and CULTIC, and yes, the names are super ridiculous.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Send Me To Star Wars
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Harmonic; No Time To Cyber; Snope Snoped
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

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