Greetings Webtaculators. FYI, it is near the end of August, and I finally stopped typing “2020” every time I type the date. Things are going swimmingly. Also, there are lots of numbers this week – my apologies to you sufferers of arithmophobia. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: War, HUH, What Is It Good For
Why: Because watching people and the media suddenly remember that the United States has maintained an armed presence half way around the world for 20 years only when a majority of Americans finally collectively agreed that being there was a bad idea and we should probably not be sure is… something.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: X+X= $6,000 OR $12,000, Depending On The Weather, I Guess
Why: Because it turns out health insurers have no real basis for the prices they negotiate on our behalf for. Remember, the whole reason why health insurance companies exist in the first place, theoretically, is so that they can compete to get the lowest prices for their customers. That’s it. They are clearly failing at their purpose. Just remember the next time you have an emergency that it is entirely possible that it MIGHT BE CHEAPER FOR YOU TO PAY OUT OF POCKET, EVEN IF YOU PAY A HIGH MONTHLY INSURANCE RATE, which is exactly the sort of thing you have time to worry about when you might be dying.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read [assuming you skip the order])
What: Uber Unenforceable
Why: Because Prop 22, where Californian’s decided that it was a good idea to limit worker protections for ride-share drivers, was ruled unconstitutional by a California Superior Court judge.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: We Are In Trouble
Why: Because the Boston Dynamics robots are now humanoids who can run and jump and do back flips. However, we are not in trouble if Tesla’s human-in-body-suit robots end up winning whatever military industrial complex bidding war goes on in our dystopian future.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Pen Is Mightier
Why: What is an extraordinary piece of investigative reporting by Ringer journalist Claire McNear lead to the swift removal of Mike Richards as the new host of Jeopardy one day after he started the gig? Remember, kids, don’t be repeatedly misogynistic, anti-Semitic, and fat-shaming, well, ever. But especially if you’re trying to place yourself at the helm of one of the most beloved American television institutions.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: The Wrong Web
Why: Because someone leaked the new Spider Man trailer to the internet. It must be a very slow week for movies if this is such a big deal.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Summer Of Our Lorde
Why: Because releasing a mellow, kick-back album in the middle of the pandemic somehow manages to feel somewhat rebellious.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: More Like Badreads…
Why: Because, much like any public review aggregator, Goodreads suffers from a swath of bad actors that actively harm writers’ ability to sell books.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: 12 Minutes Too Many
Why: Because an audacious attempt at creating a cinematic “point-and-click” adventure loses its full head of steam towards the end, and created one of the few times in gaming where, despite a terrific opening and acting from Daisy Ridley, James McAvoy, and Willem Dafoe, I did not want to see the end because both the gameplay and the story collapsed at the same instance.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Oh, We’re Still Doing This, Because This Pandemic Never Ends; More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Seals; Robots’ Funniest Home Videos
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Vote No On The Recall
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™