Webtacular World Issue # 355, January 31, 2021

Greetings Webtaculators! Apparently, I have access to a space laser that I helped a company I regulate set fire to the state I live in. How are people this dumb and cruel in Congress? On to the news

STORY OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Meet The New Team
Why: Because there are a bunch of familiar names with decades of experience heading Biden’s cabinet. It’s nice to have the U.S. Executive Branch back in the hands of qualified professionals.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: GameStop Is Breaking The Stock Market
Why: Because hopefully you took my suggestion last week – and hopefully don’t stay in too long unless you’re doing it solely for the LOLZ.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Giuliani Gets Sued By Everyone
Why: Because it’s really hard to lose a defamation suit, but Giuliani is dumb enough to do it. Also, Trump no longer has any representation for his defense at his impeachment trial, because all of his lawyers quit.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Union-bet
Why: Because after the story broke that Google’s employees launched an international union, this follow up piece appeared that potentially hamper US employees’ efforts to have representation.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. watch)
What: How?
Why: Because Danny MacAskill continues to do things on a bike that I just do not understand.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (8 min. read)
What: Dance In The Sun
Why: Because the Sundance Film Festival moved online – here are some things worth watching.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read / listen)
What: RIP SOPHIE
Why: Because I was mostly unfamiliar with SOPHIE’s work before hearing about their passing – however, it is clear that SOPHIE was incredibly influential in their short life. Think a futuristic, clubby, queer version of Passion Pit if Passion Pit kept making music like Sleepyhead.
Also, Weezer somehow released yet another album, but not the one people were expecting. (For those of you counting [because who ISN’T?], this is their 6th album since 2014, with another already completed, but delayed due to COVID. For comparison, Weezer released seven albums from 1994 – 2009.)

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (short look)
What: Normal Spouses
Why: Because I’m not sure I ever saw the last first couple show each other any real public or private affection.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (quick buy)
What: That’s A Long Dog
Why: Because my friend Avery who’s work has appeared in this blog regularly due to a seemingly unlimited well of creativity wrote a new children’s book about, well, a long dog.

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (15 min prep – 6-8 hour cook)
What: Glo-BOWL-ization
Why: Because if you throw oil, diced onion, garlic, mushrooms, and tomato paste in in a pan on medium heat for a few minutes, stir in a dash of salt, pepper, and essentially whatever spices you have in pantry (I used, in no particular order: cumin, ginger, curry powder, Mexican chili powder, herbs de Provence, poultry seasoning, mustard, hot Hungarian paprika, Italian seasoning, and turmeric [YOU DO YOU]), and then throw that mess and some type of stock (I used chicken), some sort of cream (I used Greek yoghurt and half and half), choice of meat (again, I used chicken), some sort of acid (I used lime juice) and some mushrooms into a crock pot for 6-8 hours, you will get something absolutely delicious. CRAZY. If you want to be “healthy,” throw in some extra veg (I used bell peppers and kale) an hour before time is up so you don’t overcook it. Serve over rice, in a bowl, so the name makes sense. I didn’t include measurements because I didn’t use any – I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to mess this up. Go nuts. Of course, if you do happen to make something awful, please let me know. (Other people’s) cooking disasters are one of  my favorite things to hear about.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: How Not To Talk About Video Games
Why: Because the NY Times hosted an Op-ed that completely misidentified just how fucked up a year this has been, and how video games are one of the few ways kids (and adults!) have gotten to stay in touch with their friends. You can worry about too much screen time once people stop getting killed by COVID.
Also, the new Hitman is very good.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: It’s Jurassic Park But Pee-Wee Instead Of Dinos; STONKS!; Maybe Internet Food Delivery Companies Don’t Need So Much Money After All
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: A Time Machine So I Can Invest My Life’s Savings Into A Dying Video Game Store This Past Summer.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World # 354, January 24, 2021

Greetings Webtaculators! So – this is what a week without the worst person in the world screaming at you constantly feels like. “Traitor Ted” is losing a Twitter fight to noted pot head and potter Seth Rogen, Bernie Memes have taken over the world, and I already forgot who all the decent people Joe Biden hired as his staff, such as Press Secretary Jen Psaki, a consummate professional, because they aren’t screeching demon hell-spawn like this or this or this (HAHAHA SHE NEVER GAVE A PRESS CONFERENCE!) or this. It feels… normal. Let’s see how long this levity lasts – I hope a while, because it feels fucking fantastic not waking up to a self-inflicted crisis every single morning. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (6 hour watch)
What: The Biden Experience
Why: Because this whole proceeding felt as hopeful as possible given that we’re still in the middle of the pandemic, and the traitors still in power are trying their damnedest to pretend that they didn’t try to overthrow the government a few weeks ago.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: WSB Vs. The World
Why: Because the most interesting fight between a whole bunch of small time traders vs. institutional powers is coming to ahead when the Reddit subgroup jumped on the Gamestop stock bandwagon and essentially called a bluff on a massive short-sale on a failing company. If you invested last Wednesday or Thursday (or especially a year ago) because you decided to YOLO and go to the moon, please think of me when you make your millions.

HEALTH THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: A Comprehensive Plan
Why: Because unlike the previous administration, Biden has a comprehensive plan to do something with the vast power afforded to the Federal government.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Time To Go Electric
Why: Because the value of electric cars, especially when including their carbon cost, are a better buy than their gas-powered counterparts.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: RIP To The Greatest
Why: Because the Hammer was the best. Also, go climb a mountain, because fuck the COVID Bowl. And double fuck Tom Brady.

OTHER REST IN… SOMETHING OF THE WEEK (reads)
What: Larry King And Phil Spector
Why: Because a man who was spectacularly unprepared for his job and a murderer who was famous for creating a wall of sound seem to have been given multiple second and third chances that people now would never be afforded, assuming you aren’t a politician who tried to overthrow your government earlier this month.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: In And Of Itself
Why: Because this one man monologue / magic show / ode to human identity is extremely worth watching. Or, if you’d rather turn your brain off, which, hey, I get it, watch the new Godzilla vs. Kong trailer.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3  min. read)
What: Weeeey Heeey Blow The Man Down!
Why: Because sea shanties are back, baby! What a time to be alive.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (quick / long look)
What: I Mean…
Why: Because we have a Black, South Asian, WOMAN as a VP. The historic nature of this multiple-glass-ceiling-shattering fact still hasn’t been lauded and praised enough.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: If Only We’re Brave Enough To Be It
Why: Because you really should read the words Amanda Gorman spoke to us at Biden’s inauguration.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: The Most Presidential Presidents
Why: Because video game presidents are something else. Also, if you’re still wondering what the best games of last year are, Giant Bomb currently has it’s guest top 10 lists up for your reading pleasure. The thing about these lists that make them special is essentially that the site somehow has enough connections to the industry that many of gaming’s top creators, personalities, and assorted voices come together in one place to talk about their favorite games of the previous year. It’s basically the equivalent if there was a movie website that somehow got James Cameron, Brad Pitt, and Hanz Zimmer and their peers to talk about their favorite movies of the year. There is also just some excellent, cathartic writing reflecting on a particularly difficult year – I suggest reading Scott Benson’s, Alex Navarro’s, and Mary Kish’s – but all provide some context to a year when video games helped a hell of a lot of people cope with being inside.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: The Wellerman; More Memes; The Muppets Are Coming Back
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: More Low Key News Weeks! OH MY GOD I FEEL SO LIGHT!
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 353, January 18, 2021

Greetings Webtaculators. Welcome to the new year.

First, a few words by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., written from his cell in Birmingham, Alabama.

I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

I created Webtacular World to bring some semblance of “slow news” to the increasing news cycle. I could not, in good conscience, write about what I bore witness to the first week of January due to the spiraling uncertainty of the events that occurred.  It was too raw, and I was too overwhelmed with the fact that supposed “patriots” marched through our government’s hallowed halls bearing symbols of the Confederacy and the Nazis in celebration of their failed leader. I am still furious, but at least I have some additional perspective on the vast failure of American institutions that lead to what I hope will be Trump’s dying crescendo.

On January 6, 2021,  MAGA seditionists, guided by words of the Donald Trump, stormed the Capitol and attempted to overthrow Congress as they were performing their Constitutional duty of affirming the count of the Electoral College votes for the 2020 election of Joseph R. Biden as President-Elect.  

To those of you who were surprised that this could have happened, you really shouldn’t have been –  the undercurrent of American fascism, bellied by American white supremacy, have been apparent throughout America’s history. THIS IS WHO WE ARE.

A short review:

In 1619, before the formation of the United States, white privateers aboard the White Lion and the Treasurer attacked and robbed the San Juan Bautista of its cargo, and brought it to Point Comfort, Virginia. That cargo consisted of 20 or so Black slaves, and were the first slaves traded on present day American soil.

In 1778, the Constitution of the United States was ratified with the following language in Article 1, Section 2 –

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.

This clause enshrined the existence of Black slavery within the formation of the United States.

On April 12, 1861, Confederate soldiers fired on Fort Sumter, starting the American Civil War. The war fought by the secessionist South to protect their states’ ability for white people to own Black people.

For a decade following the Civil War, the United States entered a period known as Reconstruction, which attempted to allow newly freed Black Americans the same civic life as their white counterparts.  Reconstruction ended in failure with the Compromise of 1877, where presidential candidate Hayes assured that all Federal troops would be withdrawn from the former Confederacy in exchange for granting him the electoral votes for him to win the presidency.  Without federal support, terror against Black Americans continued.

Following the end of Reconstruction, former Confederate states enacted multiple “Jim Crow Laws,” the colloquial name for a swath of rules and regulations enacted by Southern states for the sole purpose of disenfranchising Black Americans through the use  poll taxes, literacy and comprehension tests, and residency and record keeping requirements.  White people were generally exempt through these requirements through the creation of “grandfather clauses,” which allowed people to vote if their grandparents could.  Through these rules, many Southern states removed Black American participation in the Federal and State electoral process. 

Segregation remained the de-facto policy in the United States from this point until 1964 with the passage of the Civil Rights Act and the 1965 passage of the Voting Rights Act – 100 years after the conclusion of the Civil War. Interracial marriage was not legal until 1967. Extra-legal, racist-based laws and practices exist to this day (gerrymandering; racist police practices; restriction of voting rights; education; COVID mortality rates; access to loans and debt… really I could go on, but I think [hope] you get the point).

On April 4, 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.

White, right-wing Americans continued to terrorize Americans of all backgrounds from this period onward.  Between 1994 and the present, right wing terrorism is responsible for a majority of terrorist acts and deaths within the United States, without counting the singular act of religious-based terrorism on 9/11.  This includes incidents at Wacco, the Oklahoma City Bombing, and the vast increase in mass shootings. This especially includes the continued growth in violence perpetrated against Black Americans, and those calling for the end to that violence, by law enforcement.

Jump forward. On January 17, 2017, Trump gave his Inaugural Address. Here are the some of the words I wrote immediately upon reading the content of his depraved words:

DT- “At the bedrock of our politics will be a total allegiance to the United States of America, and through our loyalty to our country, we will rediscover our loyalty to each other. When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice.”
A political system built around total allegiance to country is fascism, not democracy. Also, patriotism by definition includes a prejudice against people who are not of citizens of a particular country, or, in practice, people who are not perceived to be belonging to a particular country.

DT- “It’s time to remember that old wisdom our soldiers will never forget, that whether we are black or brown or white, we all bleed the same red blood of patriots.”
I really have no idea what point he is trying to make here. It doesn’t fit within the context of any of the other sentences around it, and, by itself, seems more like a vague threat than anything else.

Overall, this speech once again demonstrates Trump’s complete lack of understanding of the position of the Presidency. I hope that we can continue to keep America great, but this, as with most of the thoughts and actions Trump has taken so far, continues to leave me underwhelmed and uncertain that he is capable of achieving this goal.

On January 13, 2021, Donald Trump was impeached for the second time in his Presidency.

Trump’s idea of patriotism always was the same idea of patriotism that enabled slavery in the United States. Trump will be remembered as the worst President in history for is continuous, abject failures.  Trump’s supporters will go down in history as the same sort of traitors as the Southern seditionists in the Civil War. The law enforcement that was supposed to prevent this from happening are no better than the slave catchers or men who turned hoses on protestors. This is not hyperbole, exaggeration, or euphemism.  The people who enabled Trump all looked at what he had to offer, weighed the options, and decided a fascist, racist man who was responsible for the death of 400,000 Americans and counting due to his mishandling of COVID was the best choice.  They had four years of worthless policies, befriending dictatorships, purposefully splitting up families, destruction of the middle class, selling out the United States all so they could enact tax cuts that the majority of people will never see and place extremist judges who will continue to destroy the fragile fabric of law that the United States is based on to enrich those who already have too much.  Their selfishness and inability to reason brought us to destruction’s doorstep, and it is still to soon to know whether or not they will succeed.

Republicans, and some Democrats, are hellbent on “putting this behind us” or “joining together in unity to heal.” I have no interest in joining with Nazis and Confederates who would destroy the few decent tenants of our country so that they may flourish. They must face justice. There cannot be peace without justice. Americans must not make the same mistake as a nation that were made during Reconstruction. The rot that has always existed in the United States must be excised. Only then can we prove that we have changed as Americans, and can move forward to a better future. This is a start.

On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: January 6, 2021
Why: Because this will hopefully be the end. The use of the BBC article here is purposeful – this is the same nonchalance that American media give to the havoc that occurs half a world away. Here it is as it happened.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: A Real Recovery
Why: Because it is absolutely infuriating to see how much power the current administration refused to use to help people, and how easy it would have been for them to do so.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Supreme Court Of Killers
Why: Because the self identifying Christians on the Supreme Court were complicit in the deaths of thirteen prisoners on death row over the last six months. During this time, the Trump administration executed three times the number of federal prisoners as had been executed in the previous sixty years, and the first federal execution in seventeen years. To say that this is a miscarriage of justice and goes against the plain text meaning of “cruel and unusual” punishment is an understatement.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Too Little Too Late
Why: Because although social media companies ultimately made the right decision, there must be a reckoning for what they allowed to happen. Trump was banned from Twitter, and then FacebookParler was “hacked,” and Parler was taken offline

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Fuck Sports, And Fuck Fascists
Why: Because leagues continue to pretend like anyone cares while throwing manbaby tantrums to get traded while exposing people to COVID or being destroyed for our entertainment or using the funds gained from said entertainment to provide funding to House Representative insurrectionists, so we might as well enjoy looking at a house we cannot afford while understanding why it is appropriate to call the January 6 rioters “terrorists.”

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK ( a few hours or something)
What: Choose A Bad Movie And Watch It
Why: Because I spent the weekend doing that, and it helped me ignore the awful in the world for a bit.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: More Concerts From Home
Why: Because I am working from home until September, at least.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: The Attack
Why: Because one of the few benefits of modernity is that we can all see what actually happened.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Fuck Hawley
Why: Because he is a piece of shit human who should be thrown in a hole and forgotten. 

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Foreverever
Why: Because although there are probably bigger stories from last week, sometimes its good to know that some companies are making simple games Like EVERSPACE 2 where you’re just a clone in a spaceship that shoots other spaceships in space.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: State Of Georgia; Fleeing The Death Star; Make Killing Nazis Fun Again
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: 2 More Days.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 352, January 3, 2021

Greetings Webtaculators! We made it to the new year! 2021! The Roarin’ 20s! The 2000s are of legal drinking age! Everything’s going to be great! I mean, even Twitter found and destroyed Bean Dad, a random dude who has some less than stellar parenting advice! Yup – everything’s back to normal. I’ve got a good feeling about this one! On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long reads / listens)
What: BAD 2021!
Why: Because 2021 went and pulled an even bigger 2020. After a bunch of chucklefucks in Congress decided that maybe states’ electoral votes shouldn’t be counted, Trump went ahead and got caught on tape being all Seditious with a capital “S” by threatening Georgia’s Secretary of State to change the results of Georgia’s election. To top it off, Trump awarded a guy who most likely covered up sexual assault at Ohio State and another guy most famous for losing lawsuits to a fictional cow the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The end to this cannot come soon enough.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Shoulda Bought Bitcoin…
Why: Because a single bitcoin is now worth $33,000.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: 18 U.S. Code § 2384 – Seditious Conspiracy
Why: Because

If two or more persons in any State or Territory, or in any place subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States, or to levy war against them, or to oppose by force the authority thereof, or by force to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of any law of the United States, or by force to seize, take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof, they shall each be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both.

Also relevant – the term “by force” means using power, violence, or pressure directed against a person or thing. Force is a compulsion by physical means or by legal requirement. Force can be be either actual or implied.

“Trump alternately berated Raffensperger, tried to flatter him, begged him to act and threatened him with vague criminal consequences if the secretary of state refused to pursue [Trump’s] false claims” to “find 11,780 votes.” It quacks like a duck.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Strong Breeze Grows To Gale Force
Why: Because the SolarWinds hack (remember that?) is likely even bigger than previously reported.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (not worth reading)
What: Punt The Ball
Why: Because college football continues to be one of the worst things ever created. The Rose Bowl, named for Rose Bowl Stadium, home of the UCLA Bruins, located in Pasadena, California, was played in Texas(?) between a shit Notre Dame team who helped get the game moved and the state school of the least educated state in the nation. Speaking of Texas, that school just hired multi-time failure and drunk Steve Sarkisian as head coach, which is costing the school $25 million just to fire their current coaching staff.

Oh right. More positivity. Let’s see… Steph Curry scored 62 points in a basketball game! Hooray!

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Thunderous Silence
Why: Because Riz Ahmed’s performance in “Sound Of Metal” is by far the best thing about the movie, followed closely by the sound design.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: RIP DOOM
Why: Because MF Doom, the masked rapper who you might not have heard of, but your favorite rapper definitely did, passed away.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. look)
What: A Sad Celebration
Why: Because I spent New Years’ Eve texting with friends as idiots blew up fireworks around my house, coming very close to knocking out the power. Hooray…

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Year In Review
Why: Because COVID changed publishing as much as any business.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: To The Future
Why: Because these are some of the games you’ll be hearing more about as the year goes on.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Meet Our Dancing Robot Overlords – PS I had no idea how fucking terrifying jumping robots were, but now my dreams will be sufficiently haunted forever; Maybe Pexachu Can Save Us; TikTok Might Not Be Terrible?
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK BRIAN’S NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION
What: My one resolution for this year is more dancing. I think that will fix most things / mean most things are fixed. See you all on the dance floor of the future. Except for the robots. They are not invited to dance with us.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 351, December 27, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators. I am glad this year is coming to an end. However, there were some things that helped me, which are noted below. Maybe they can help you a bit, too. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: B.O.N (Bombs Over Nashville)
Why: Because on Christmas day, a massive bomb was purposefully detonated in downtown Nashville, causing zero deaths, but massive damage to the surrounding area and Tennessee’s telecommunications infrastructure. The lack of national comment on this event is insane. Regardless of the bombers’ motives, which at this point are unknown, there has been no presidential statement, no explanation for why a damage to a single building can take down the communications capabilities of an entire state, or any real care by anyone that a major city was bombed on one of the biggest holidays of the year. I do not understand this country.

ALSO – in order to just have on the record what a truly awful human Trump is, here is the growing list of people Trump has pardoned as he continues to fail at his job. This list includes child killers, traitors, embezzlers, and thieves. Fuck him forever.

STORY OF THE YEAR (long looks)
What: COVID / Biden Wins Presidency
Why: Because COVID has shown just how fragile our country is – hopefully Biden can be sworn in before Trump tears the whole thing down.

HELPFUL STORY OF THE YEAR (5 min. read)
What: Marches In Support Of Black Lives
Why: Because millions of Americans throughout cities around the country and the world announced to the world that Black Lives Matter. While it remains to be seen what the outcome of this will be, it is good to know that there is at least some good out there.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Stimulus And Funding
Why: Because after rattling the loudest, flimsiest sabre, Trump finally signed a $900 billion stimulus bill, and the Senate funding bill for the trillions of dollars necessary to keep our country running. Trump gained nothing by delaying, proving yet again he is one of the worst actual dealmakers in history.

In another awful deal, A Brexit Deal was reached by Britain and the EU, but no one seems to have a good understanding of how any of this will play out. Terrific.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE YEAR (long read)
What: Crash
Why: Because we went through the largest financial crash in American history. The outcome destroyed jobs, and made the rich way wealthier. It will be a while before the fallout from COVID can be fully known, but my best guess is that the gap between the haves and the have-nots will continue to widen even further unless drastic changes occur.

HELPFUL ECONOMIC THING OF THE YEAR (0 min. read)
What: I… Uhhh… Got Nothing For You.
Why: Because I spent a decent amount of time trying to find something that would fit here, but came up empty. Sorry. I guess congrats to everyone who has Tesla stock? And enjoy your $600, if you qualify.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Bitch Better Have My Money!
Why: Because Trump sycophants in Texas said they would pay a bounty to anyone who found evidence of voter fraud. John Fetterman, Pennsylvania’s Lieutenant Governor and person who looks like he crushes rocks with his forehead for fun, found someone who used his dead mom to vote for Trump. Naturally, he is asking for the bounty.

LAW THING OF THE YEAR (3 min. read)
What: The Remaking Of The Supreme Court
Why: Because Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death allowed a Republican lead Congress fill a seat by a religious zealot during the middle of an election cycle, even though that same Congress had previously said they could not do something like that. Again, unless something drastically changes under Biden, this ensures a very conservative court that mostly follows an extremist interpretation of legal theory that will no doubt impact America for decades if not centuries.

HELPFUL LAW THING OF THE YEAR (3 min. read)
What: Protection Against Sex Discrimination
Why: Because there are still some laws standing to protect those who require it.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: Fusion For The Future
Why: Because scientists basically created a sun on Earth for 20 seconds. Neat.

SCIENCE THING OF THE YEAR (3 min. read)
What: The Vaccine
Why: Because multiple multinational companies, with help from governments around the world, managed to create relatively stable and effective vaccines against COVID in a truly herculean effort. Hopefully there will be continued success in their delivery throughout the world.

HELPFUL SCIENCE THING OF THE YEAR (5 min. read)
What: Pivot To Masks
Why: Because this was the single thing that felt like America actually acted like it how it pretends to be – businesses using their innovation and resources to solve a problem that needs solving, and pitch in to help the greater good.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Continued Nonsense Of This Year
Why: Because meaningless records continue to happen, in a year when sports should not be played. The absolute nadir of “lists of accomplishments” I saw was during the Saints / Vikings game, where not only Alvin Kamara scored 6(!) touchdowns, but also the announcers noted that this was the first year in NFL history where a game was played on every day of the week, without mentioning that only happened because one team continuously had to reschedule their Thanksgiving day game to the following Wednesday because half the team had COVID. Great job.

SPORTS THING OF THE YEAR (6 min. read)
What: Sports Cancelled
Why: Because this was the only rational thing sports did, but it didn’t last long.

HELPFUL SPORTS THING OF THE YEAR (4 min. read)
What: Bucks Walk Off
Why: Because the Bucks decision to not play following the shooting of Jacob Blake helped set the tone for just how much needs to change.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (4 hour watch)
What: I Watched 2(!) New Movies Today
Why: Because this was probably the fewest amount of new movies I have watched in a year. Soul made my best of the year list, and Sound of Metal, while good, did not.

MOVIE THING OF THE YEAR (7 min. read)
What: Someone Else’s List
Why: Because I didn’t get a chance to watch all the movies (somehow), but some of those are probably worth watching.

HELPFUL MOVIE THING OF THE YEAR (short read)
What and Why: My List Of Things I Liked Because They Were Kind, In No Particular Order (OK, fine, it’s reverse chronological)
Soul – Up there with Pixar’s bests. The “purpose of life” scene gets me.
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm – Somehow Rudy upstaged sticking his hands down his pants in front of a what he thought was a reporter a few weeks later. The fact that even Borat can’t upstage the insanity of Trump and his circle shows just how insane the last four years have been.
Palm Springs – Finding how to live the same day over and over again felt somehow relatable.
Da 5 Bloods – Because making an American Vietnam movie now is something only Spike Lee could do.
Onwards – Because I basically forgot this was released this year, and represents the false belief that I probably shared with most people that everything would get back to normal at some point. How wrong I was.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (1 min. watch)
What: 2020 Must Die
Why: Because 2020 was the worst.

TELEVISION THING OF THE YEAR (6 min. read)
What: Someone Else’s List
Why: Because I didn’t get a chance to watch all the shows (somehow), but some of those are probably worth watching.

HELPFUL TELEVISION THING OF THE YEAR (short read)
What and Why: My List Of Things I Liked Because They Were Kind, In No Particular Order. Also – unlike movies, this is by far the most amount of television I have ever watched in my life. I was not allowed to watch TV during the week growing up, so I never really developed a strong habit of watching shows in the background of doing other things, or get in the habit of following series, in general. Thanks to COVID and streaming, that is no longer the case. Give me more, please.
The Mandalorian – What the prequels and sequels should have been.
The Good Place – Late to the show, glad I caught up.
Ted Lasso – I still don’t get how Jason Sudeikis created a believable nice soccer née American football coach, but he did.
Bojack Horseman – See above re: being late.
How To With John Wilson – The documentary for our times.
Pen15 – Middle school never felt so real.
Better Call Saul – See above re: being late.
The Umbrella Academy – Because family is important, even if they are all adopted mutants trying to stop the world from ending.
The Chef Show – Because Jon Favreau can do no wrong, especially when it involves learning how to cook.
Schitt’s Creek – See above re: being late.
Letterkenny – because 9 seasons of inside jokes with nice Canadian hicks feels like home.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: New Macca
Why: Because Paul McCartney just won’t stop.

MUSIC THING OF THE YEAR (long read)
What: Someone Else’s List
Why: Because I didn’t get a chance to listen, yadda yadda yadda.

HELPFUL MUSIC THING OF THE YEAR (short read)
What and Why: Playing Music. Because I kept playing guitar, learned how to play the drums and am re-teaching myself piano, and it is a soul saving outlet to combine rhythm, tones, and pitch to create something that sounds beautiful, even if it’s only for me.
My List Of Things I Liked Because They Were Kind, In No Particular Order. Also, I am a 20-year-old girl, and that’s OK with me.
Taylor Swift – folklore – This is probably the most played album of the year. Since I am an Apple Music subscriber and do not use Spotify, I didn’t get a “most listened to” thing. If I did, this would undoubtedly be at the top. “Exile” is exactly how sad I need to feel. More National + T-Swift, please.
Phoebe Bridgers – Punisher – I wish I could write as well as she does. “I Know The End” is a journey to a necessary and deserved primal scream.
The Avelanches – We Will Always Love You – This gets back to more of how I first remember them, well aside from their song Frontier Psychiatrist. “The Devine Chord
Fleet Foxes – Shore – because Robin Pecknold’s voice can fill a room, even if its all by itself. “Can I Believe You
HAIM – Women In Music Pt. III –  The sisters’ albums keep getting stronger, and I could not get the b-side “Summer Girl” out of my head, mostly because I am of an age where I associate a certain bass line with A Tribe Called Quest’s “Can I Kick It” rather than Lou Reed’s “Walk On The Wild Side.” I swear that last sentence makes sense.
Run The Jewels – RTJ4 – So I’m not entirely a 20 year old girl. “JU$T
The 1975 – Notes On A Conditional Form – Yes I am. “Me & You Together Song
Soccer Mommy – color theory – “Circle The Drain” is the most 2020 song of 2020 even though COVID wasn’t a thing yet.

ADDITIONALLY, since concerts weren’t a real thing, I spent actual dollars to watch artists perform “live” from my TV. The best of these were Fleet Foxes’ A Very Lonely Solstice; Foo Fighters’ Sweet Relief; Taylor Swift’s folklore Session; and Pheobe Bridgers’ Red Rocks and Tiny Desk.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK / YEAR (long look)
What: 2020, A Review
Why: Because 2020 showed just how many problems the world still has.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: New Year, New Books
Why: Because the books must be read

LITERATURE THING OF THE YEAR (4 min. read)
What: The Books Of Disaster
Why: Because there have been way too many books surrounding the Trump presidency that are too important, but also that I have no interest in, since I don’t know how much additional evidence is necessary to describe just how awful he has been.

HOPEFUL LITURATURE THING OF THE YEAR (4 min. read)
What: A Promise
Why: Because Obama’s memoir should provide a blueprint for the quality of person we should demand for all future presidents.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Still Broken, Still Good
Why: Because Cyberpunk 2077 is a great representation for all the the things great and awful about video games as a medium.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE YEAR (7 min. watch)
What: Someone Else’s List
Why: YADA

HELPFUL VIDEO GAME THING OF THE YEAR (short read)
What and Why: My List Of Things I Liked Because They Were Kind, In No Particular Order. Holy shit did I play way too many hours of video games this year. Unlike Apple, Nintendo was kind enough to send me a detailed breakdown of the total number of hours I played. In the interest of not totally embarrassing myself, I will not share this number with you, since it represents just a fraction of the total amount of games I played across multiple systems. HOWEVER! I was not responsible for most of them – that would go to my wife’s just-shy-of 150 hours spent on Animal Crossing, which coincided with her time off due pregnancy. Video games provided a much needed escape from everything else going on, and let me stay connected to friends and the zeitgeist while we all at home.
Black Mesa – revisiting a rebuilt Half-Life showed just how great the original game was.
Half Life: Alyx – One of the best VR games out there.
Desperados III – Being a group of assassin cowboys is fun.
Ghosts of Tsushima – Being a ninja assassin is fun.
FUSER – Aspiring mashup DJ, at your service.
Wasteland 3 – A worthy successor to isometric RPGs like Fallout.
Microsoft Flight Simulator – Flying around the world is fun.
Cyberpunk 2077 – broken fun.
Hades – A roguelike with a purpose.
The Remakes – Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2, Resident Evil 3, Final Fantasy 7 Remake, Demon’s Souls, Super Mario 3-D All Stars – each of these, whether getting a new coat of paint or entirely reimagined, were excellent.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: There has been enough Internet for a lifetime this year.
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET EVERYONE OF THE WEEK
What: A Happy New Year
Why: Because everyone deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 350, December 21, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators – sorry for the delay. Yesterday was my 36th birthday, or as I like to call it, my double 18th, so I was too busy spending the day cooking delicious food for myself to pay attention to the goings on in the world. I have some extra revelations to share now that I have complete my second set of eighteen years around the sun.

Eighteen years seems like a good marker for a human life. The average human gets just over four of them. Eighteen years represent enough time where a lot can change, but also not enough so that you can’t easily identify the similarities between those timeframes. It’s not too long, like, let’s say, thirty years, where differences may make someone unrecognizable. If you were to put a me from my 18th birthday to next to me now, there would be a clear line of understandable development, whereas if you stick newborn me next to current me, you’d probably say something like “what travesty happened to that adorable baby?”

Eighteen years signifies the start of adulthood in modern American culture – you can vote, buy porn, get tattoos, sign loans, get drafted into the army, get thrown in real jail… you know, all the adult things. But it’s also sort of a limbo time – you can’t be President, rent a car, legally smoke or drink, and you can still be declared dependent for tax and health care purposes. You also aren’t really expected to be an adult by societal standards at that point either – many people are still in school. You are not expected to be married or have children. You still have some leeway to make mistakes without fully upending your life.

Double eighteen is a different story. I am expected to have my shit generally together – and, on paper, I seem to. I have a wife and a child, a career, mortgage, and a car loan, grey in my beard and a receding hairline, a collection of hobbies, and a terrible coffee habit supported by a way too expensive coffee grinder. I am much more “adult” than I was when I first became one. I also no longer have the same amount of “infinite possibilities” that I did after the first eighteen. I have made a series of decisions, both on purpose and not, that have led to who I am at this point. The questions that once unknown answers (where I lived, what I was going to do, who I was going to be with) have now been answered. I am more or less on my path, and and I get to spend the next part of my life seeing where that ends up.

At the same time, I still have a strong connection to that eighteen-year-old version of myself. I can directly trace the beginning of many of my convictions, the emergence of a more social self, and a full embrace of a lacking patience for doing things conventionally, especially if those conventions were self determined to be a waste of time (sorry to anyone who has had to deal with this). In other words, I still feel identifiably “me,” although I don’t know for how much longer. My convictions probably won’t change, but I know my social meter gets drained much faster than it used to, and I also find it utterly exhausting to push back against systems that I may or may not disagree with. I imagine some of that self identification will change by the time my third 18th rolls around, but I don’t really know what that entails. Hopefully, I can let you all know when I get there.

On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Some Relief
Why: Because Congress is finally giving people something – $600 dollars to be exact. Yes, the specifics mean some people will be getting more help, but a $600 one time payout is basically an insult. $600 is not enough money to come close to the amount of economic harm that has been caused by the US’ specific inability to treat COVID like a real thing. McConnell and the rest of the Republicans have purposefully done as little as possible to help people. America remains broken.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Less Than A Trickle
Why: Because the one of the dumbest economic theories that continues to be put into practice (see above) is proven not to work. Giving wealthy people more money is not the answer.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Bye Barr
Why: Because the worst AG in history decided he wants to try to flee the sinking ship again. The amount of damage he has accumulatively caused to the rule of law in the United States cannot be overstated.

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Cosmic Harmony
Why: Because Saturn and Jupiter will be crossing the same visual plane tonight. This only happens every 20 years, and this time around they will look especially close together. Space is neat.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. reads)
What: Necessary Changes
Why: Because the Cleveland Baseball Team is also getting rid of its racist name. Also, the MLB is finally recognizing the Negro Leagues as major league baseball.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. reads)
What: Fun At Home
Why: Because Wonder Woman and Soul are two capital M MOVIES that will be coming straight to your nearest streaming services.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Redemption
Why: Because The Mandalorian is the best Star Wars made in my lifetime. I highly suggest watching Gallery, which demonstrates just how much care and thought the creators put into this show.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. watch)
What: As You’ve Never Seen Them
Why: Because Peter Jackson is teasing footage from his newest Beatles movie.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. look)
What: SPAAAACE
Why: Because planets.

POST OFFICE THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Letters To Santa
Why: Because the sports blog that refuses to write about sports has one of the most soul crushing reads about how this year has impacted people as told from their letters to the North Pole.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Playing With Kindness
Why: Because Shigeru Miyomoto, creator of things like Mario, Zelda, and Donkey Kong, has only wants one thing from games – a nicer world.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Hanukkah With Haim; Blobpera; COVID From The Future, Part 4
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN AMERICA OF THE WEEK
What: $600 is not enough. Americans should not be punished for their leaders’ failure to act. Although I have been financially impacted due to furloughs and pay cuts this year, my family and I are still OK. That is why I will be donating whatever stimulus funds I end up getting back to Americans actually in need. I highly suggest you do the same, if you can afford to. If you need help, please reach out. The only way we can get through this is by helping each other.
Why: Because Brian Americans deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 349, December 13, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators. Looks like things still aren’t getting better. Thanks again Russia! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.  On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Coup Of Stupidity
Why: Because MAGA idiots are stabbing people and setting churches on fire in protests against democracy.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: IPOs Of Doom
Why: Because investors have no idea how to properly evaluate the worth of companies. AirBnB, a company which collects fees on short term rentals of people’s houses, somehow is now worth over $100 billion. Also, looks like the UK is screwed. Good job, dummies!

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (2 min. read)
What: The Biggest Losers
Why: Because, again, I am baffled that any of these people are still allowed to practice law after their complete lack of understanding of some of the most basic concepts of the Constitution, democracy, or America. Oh, apparently Facebook is finally being recognized as a monopoly (which again, means the company is doing exactly what any company striving to win capitalism should want to accomplish, but apparently understanding that this is NOT A GOOD THING is not a good enough reason to maybe think capitalism might not quite the best economic model there is… Sorry. Got sidetracked there for a minute.) Good luck!

EDUCATION THING OF THE WEEK (6 min. read)
What: Our Broken System
Why: Because like many unique things about America’s take on something most other first world countries manage to get right, our higher education system is failing us.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (long watch / 2 min. read)
What: Some Good(ish) News Finally
Why: Because focusing on not-sports that now are sports, like tag and breakdancing, feels nice.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. watch)
What: What If John Wick But Funny?
Why: Because the idea that Bob Odenkirk went from writing this to doing this to this and now this is genuinely amazing. Also, the NY Times list of Best Actors of the decade is pretty inclusive!

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (3  min. read)
What: Star Wars Forever
Why: Because Disney just bet a whole bunch of its future on more things like the Mandalorian. Speaking of, the last few episodes of that show have essentially jammed the last 40 years of Star Wars, including movies, books, TV shows, and videogames into about 2 hours of content. Dark Troopers??? It’s a lot.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (some reads)
What: Some New Things
Why: The Avalanches, Kid Cudi, and why not, some more Taylor Swift?

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. look)
What: A Sad State
Why: Because if Trump cared about this country at all, none of this would be happening.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Something A Little Different
Why: Because Webtacular usually doesn’t cover poetry all that often – both because I don’t personally don’t seek it out and the form usually isn’t widely covered as much as novels are. I should probably change that.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (long reads)
What: So Many Games
Why: Because Cyberpunk 2020 2077 finally came out. It is a beautiful mess, that is also had one of the biggest single player launches in history. I think one main problems with the game is that, for whatever reason, the creators stuck with staring at the world through the lens of the 1980s, when the year 2077 was still THE FUTURE and not a point in time that some of us might actually live to see. However, this also means that the game continues to treat some issues like violence against women or race as mono-culture or trans rights through that same 1980s veneer, even though 40 years of actual human history have occurred and we (should) know better. Also, the Game Awards happened, announcing a whole slew of new things like Vin Diesel killing dinosaurs to the re-re-boot of Perfect Dark.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Reddit’s Year In Review; How To Cook; 8 Nights Of Grohl – seriously, these are some of the most wonderful covers of songs that exist solely because Dave decided to pay tribute to a truly varied list of Jewish artists in celebration of Hanukkah. He’s only through night 4, and so far he’s done Beastie Boys’ Sabotage, Drake’s Hotline Bling, Mountain’s Mississippi Queen, and Peaches’ Fuck The Pain Away.
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: I dunno. Maybe one last surprise Taylor Swift album? Those have been nice.
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 348, December 6, 2020

OK Universe – the joke has gone on too long at this point. It never was funny, has not gotten any funnier, and it will not get any funnier. This is just too much. We get it. You can stop now.

Also, this is (or will be, in two days) Webtacular World’s seventh birthday. Thanks for reading.

On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Giuliani Has COVID
Why: Because this man’s stupendous tumble to nothing over the last month has been horrifyingly unbelievable. Also, Trump and team are traveling around the country still denying reality.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: The Comeback That Wasn’t
Why: Because the economy has definitely not recovered since COVID first appeared, and will get worse as COVID continues to ravage our country. Furthermore, I have a feeling, mainly due to the ridiculous number of CYBER MONDAY EXTENDED! emails I received from multiple companies over last week, many companies will not hit their expected sale numbers during the most important shopping week of the year.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Star Witness
Why: Because before he got COVID, Giuliani was somehow allowed to bring forth unsworn witnesses before Michigan lawmakers, claiming… something. It is clear that Mellissa Carone is not one of America’s best and brightest.

TECH THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: No More Stories
Why: Because every app and its mother now has a stories section – basically, a sub set of posts that keep posts available for viewing for a set amount of time. This is a very dumb trend. Please stop.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read)
What: Sunday Night Football Presents Thanksgiving On Wednesday Afternoon!
Why: Because the NFL is entirely broken.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Elliot Page Comes Out As Transgendered
Why: Because Elliot (you probably know him from Juno and Inception) is the highest profile trans actor currently working in the business. Miraculously, most of the press reporting on his coming out using appropriate pronouns. At least some things got a little better this year… 

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: HBO TO THE MAX
Why: Because Warner Bros. will be releasing all of its 2021 films on HBO’s new streaming service at the same time as they show up in theaters. This a huge change for an industry that has fought against home viewership since home videos first became a thing.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Folklore Experience
Why: Because Taylor Swift’s Folklore performance on Disney+ is a brilliant take on her new album.

FOOD THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: The Walking Taco
Why: Because it has been just over 8 years since I first and last had one of these Midwestern monstrosities. Highly recommend. 

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Lists!
Why: Because it’s almost the end of the year, so people are starting to gather the things that they enjoyed.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. reads)
What: Flight Of The Fenyx
Why: Because as people are anxiously waiting for the inevitable release of Cyberpunk 2077, they can spend the last few days playing the Zelda-like Immortals Fynix Rising, or be an ace fighter pilot in Project Wingman.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Sessions With Stan; 2020 Finds Love; Puppy For Hanukkah
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN OF THE WEEK
What: Can This Year Just Please Be Over Already?
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 347, November 29, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators. I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving, however different it may have been this year. Speaking of this year, we’re in the home stretch. One month to go. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (long reads)
What: Parting Gifts
Why: Since Trump lost, it seems like he has been doing everything in his waning power to bring everything else down with him. First, “someone”(HINT HINT most likely Israel with the US’ blessing) assassinated Iran’s top nuclear scientist. Considering the number of prominent Iranians that have been killed this year, it is unlikely this one will go unanswered. Also remember, that Iran wouldn’t have been developing nuclear weapons in the first place if Trump hadn’t withdrawn the US from its accord with Iran.

Back at home, Trump continues to fail at convincing courts that he actually won. After a recount in Wisconsin his supporters footed the bill for, Trump actually lost by a larger amount than if he had just shut up and conceded like a normal president. However, since he isn’t out of office until January next year, he continues to abuse his power, most heinously by pardoning Michael Flynn, even though he plead guilty, twice.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: The Invisible Hand Of Very Wealthy People
Why: Because VCs essentially are able to ignore things like “market signals,” “common sense,” or “reality” while propping up impossible business models until everything else is dead.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: In Jesus’ Name, We Die
Why: Because a bunch of Catholic Justices ignored their Pope, and decided that the First Amendment protects holding religious services from actions taken to promote public health. This ruling is insidious on multiple fronts –  Holding public services are neither required by religions, nor actually unfairly targeting religions because they are religions. Furthermore, this case should not have been heard, since New York had already changed the order at the time of the ruling, and the plaintiffs shouldn’t have had standing in in the Supreme Court the first place.

HEALTH THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Still Worse
Why: Because I am not looking forward to reading the numbers at the end of next week. New York decided it’s a good time to reopen schools.

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Cocaine Is A Hell Of A Drug
Why: Because Diego Maradona was larger than life, and one of the greatest soccer players ever.

Also, two old men threw punches at each other, but because it’s boxing, and the scores are made up anyway, it was a tie. Tyson was also admittedly high, which is appropriate considering Snoop Dogg was an announcer for some reason.

Probably the only good sports news was that for the first time, a woman played in a major college game.

MOVIE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: One With The Force
Why: Because David Prowse, the original Darth Vader actor (famously, not the voice), passed away.

TELEVISION THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. reads)
What: The Nineties Are Back
Why: Because there are new versions of both the Animaniacs and Saved By The Bell – if you guessed that the new SBTB was going to be the better reviewed of the two… well, I’m right there with you.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Not So Smashing
Why: Because the Smashing Pumpkins released what sounds like an 80s version of themselves. It’s fine! But when you’re comparing yourself to things like Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness and Siamese Dream, just OK doesn’t quite cut it.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: I’ve Seen This One Before
Why: Because France is also having to deal with the inconvenience of brutal police.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Improbable Voices
Why: Because my high school history teacher, who also is a librarian, took a thought many people probably have had (“I wonder what was actually going on in the world outside of of three European countries and the US?”) and wrote an entire painstakingly detailed book about that and the goings-ons of the entire world in both chronological and alphabetical order (again, librarian). I cannot recommend this enough.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK ()
What: DJ Turn The Music Up
Why: Because Harmonix, the creators of Rock Band, made an excellent music game revolving around EDM festivals, and this time it doesn’t even require any expensive plastic instruments! I’ve been having arguably too much fun making my own downtempo remixes of Call Me Maybe.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: Horse Girls; Stop Speed Read; The Poopiest Toys
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN SHOULD BECOME OF THE WEEK
What: The Next Sonoma County Pasta King
Why: Because Brian deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™

Webtacular World Issue # 346, November 22, 2020

Greetings Webtaculators! Sitting at home through the dumbest coup attempt ever is enthralling, isn’t it? Really normal democracy stuff. Also, COVID is definitely still very much here, no one is staying home for Thanksgiving because people think they are invincible, or their right to put other people in danger is more important than deciding not eating turkey with their uncle that they hate anyway. On top of that, there’s all the regular nonsense that we are forced to put up with as part of attempting to be a fully functioning adult, which even without those other things provides enough residual crisis to make anyone reach their breaking point.

Finally, because I apparently can’t count right, Webtacular is actually on issue number 346, which completely ruins my perfect segue from last time. Oh well. We good? Good. On to the news.

STORY OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: Trump Lost
Why: Because I just want to make sure everyone who reads this understands that there is no rational, legal way that Trump stays president. It’s not a “lame stream” media thing, it’s not a conspiracy against him, it’s not a lie. He lost. I did say I’d talk about him way less last time, but he just will not go away.

ECONOMIC THING OF THE WEEK (long look)
What: Black Friday!
Why: Because who doesn’t want to pretend that everything is fine? If you’re extra concerned you don’t have enough money, just buy it on credit – there’s a non-zero chance that there won’t be anyone able to collect on it.

LAW THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. read)
What: A Complete Mockery
Why: Because I am INCENSED that these yahoos are allowed to practice law. There is no such thing as “normal scrutiny,” you drippy cousin fucker.

HEALTH THING OF THE WEEK (5 min. look)
What: COVID Is Still Surging
Why: Because we’re up over a million cases a week, with projections potentially climbing above three million. It’s going to get way worse before it gets better. Yes, there are extremely likely viable vaccines that will be available at some point, but that is far in the future, especially for you. Also, considering the growth of the number of anti-vaxxers in the US and around the world, do you really think COVID is going anywhere?

SCIENCE THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: The Aricibo Is No More
Why: Because the a few of the cables holding up the most recognizable telescope decided to pull a 006 and crashed through dish, rendering it unrepairable. For England, James.

JOURNALISM THING OF THE WEEK (long read)
What: Hey, Webtacular’s Ahead Of The Curve Again!
Why: Because a number of prominent journalists who were… “silenced” by their editors (HAHAHAHAHA) decided to go freelance. BURN THE EDITORS DOWN! MY WORDS ARE MY FREEDOM – FACTS AND TONE BE DAMNED. Who needs truth when you have CONVICTION on your side??? Welcome to the club! Join me in shout-writing into the void. It’s fun!

SPORTS THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: CHAMPIONS
Why: Because whatever is happening in real professional sports consists of famous people breaking or people pretending the world is fine. I’ll just go chase some cheese down a hill, thank you very much.

MUSIC THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. listen)
What: Phoebe Bridgers And Maggie Rogers Covered Goo Goo Dolls ‘Iris’ To Fulfill A Promise Phoebe Made On Twitter If Trump Lost, To Help Stacy Abrams Get Votes For Democrats In Georgia’s Senate Runoff
Why: Because this may be the most 2020 thing of the year. The song was available online for one day, but you can find it here for now, and likely somewhere else later. Like most songs those two make, it is gorgeous, even if it was made as a joke.

ALSO – it was the American Music Awards, awarding mostly bad acts save for WAP and Taylor Swift, and the only thing worth mentioning about that is that the favorite artist, album and song for Latin music, and ONLY Latin music, was presented by Cheetos, the chip(?) brand. Every other music category did not have a sponsor, snack based or other wise. I have no idea what to make of that.

PHOTOGRAPHY THING OF THE WEEK (3 min. read)
What: Shot From Above
Why: Because it’s fun looking down on ourselves sometimes.

LITERATURE THING OF THE WEEK (4 min. read, but please go read the whole thing)
What: A Perfect Recollection Of An Imperfect President
Why: Because hearing Obama read this to me via audiobook at least let me know that the White House was at one point honorable, and has the capacity to be so again.

VIDEO GAME THING OF THE WEEK (long reads)
What: A Refinement
Why: Because I’m pretty sure developers figured out how to make videogames pretty damn well last generation. Between VR, open worlds, and gameplay mechanics that are reliably fun, along with an ever growing interconnection online, gaming really had never been better. The newest consoles now doing the hard work of making them prettier, shinier, and faster. The only real revolution is Sony’s new controller, which you really have to hold to understand. Also, Astro’s Playroom is way too good of a pack-in game.

INTERNET THINGS OF THE WEEK (∞)
What: A Parody Gone Too Far; Laundry Forever; 2000s Internet Forever
Why: Because Internet.

THING YOU SHOULD GET BRIAN EVERYONE OF THE WEEK
What: A Safe And Healthy Thanksgiving
Why: Because Brian everyone deserves it.

Webtacularly yours,
Brian
Managing Editor, Webtacular World
The Internet You Didn’t Know You Needed™